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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Men Who Wear Speedos

posted by on June 17 at 20:48 PM


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Posted by Will in Seattle | June 17, 2008 9:11 PM

Un-seeing that or un-hearing that...I'm torn as to which I long for more.

Posted by Karla | June 17, 2008 9:19 PM

NSFE = not safe for ears

Posted by Jeff | June 17, 2008 9:26 PM

When I was in college I worked one summer in Old Orchard Beach, Maine, which is a low rent resort for French Canadians--Montreal's version of Coney Island in a way. EVERY male, young, old, fat, thin, etc wore Speedos. Even I did, although admittedly it was the early 80s and the sight of me in a Speedo back then would be less frightening than me wearing one today. I also have some Quebecois ancestors--it must be some bizarre genetic trait.

I remember one rather rotund man in his sixties wearing not just the standard issue lime green Speedo, but it had holes cut out in the back, one on each cheek. My jaw dropped to the ground, so much in fact I thought I would need surgery to have it restored, as I pondered Why? Why on earth? What happens if he gets sunburned? How would he sit down? Would his ass look like two flags of Japan side by side? Does he use sunscreen? Which would look weirder from a distance, himself applying the Coppertone down there or his wife doing it for him? Finally I caught myself--not only was I wondering if anyone noticed me staring at some old Frenchman's half naked derriere, I think I also must have remembered the myth of the Medusa and worried that I might be turned to stone.

Here's a question for the Slog community: how many of you guys would wear a Speedo if you traveled to a country where they are routinely worn, and what would you ladies think of your husband/boyfriend wearing one?

Posted by RainMan | June 17, 2008 9:57 PM

@4 I don't like speedos. But, some men carry them off better then others so I guess I have to say it depends. It's your *ahem* junk, it is just so right there in a speedo. You can't not look.

Well, at least on in shape guys. Beer gut guys pretty much obliterate the view.

Posted by PopTart | June 17, 2008 10:15 PM

dan, i'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you were high when you posted this.

Posted by cornballer | June 17, 2008 10:37 PM


Posted by Phoebe | June 18, 2008 12:24 AM

Male Speedos are only for Olympic swimmers. The womens' Speedo one-piece bathing suit are quite tasteful and can make many women look good.

Interestingly, the one-piece lycra suits worn by cross-country skiers can make anyone look good. Not enough of those at the beach, I think.

Posted by saxfanatic | June 18, 2008 2:52 AM

The Speedo is fine. I can't deal with his hair.

Posted by MyDogBen | June 18, 2008 6:15 AM

Painful to listen to and watch. I was hoping for something good to start off my day.

Dan is such a tease.

Posted by Clearlyhere | June 18, 2008 6:28 AM

@4 -- No, let's not ask. What a boring topic that would be--- right up there with "white shoes before Memorial Day?" or "Can you even believe she would wear last year's colors?"
It's a swimming suit and nothing more.
Now this video clip on the other hand is dreadful............

Posted by Hartiepie | June 18, 2008 6:37 AM

@8... I've got bad news for you, sax... Male swimmers are now wearing a ridiculous full-torso one-piece suit that looks no different than the traditional women's Speedo. High tech fabric. Sets all kinds of crazy world records. Whatever. The Olympics will never be the same.

Posted by oneway | June 18, 2008 7:00 AM

I don't mind the Speedo; it's the tunelessness I find objectionable.

Posted by Balt-O-Matt | June 18, 2008 7:22 AM

I'm pretty sure Dan just thought this was utterly hilarious.

It is.

Posted by Sam | June 18, 2008 7:23 AM

That rules!

Posted by Porkchop Sandwiches! | June 18, 2008 7:51 AM

for the record, Quebecers dont wear speedo's anymore aside from a few older guys. I shit you not, I saw a banana hammock on a fat 50+s guy at the water park and no, it wasn't a joke on his part.....


Posted by Wurm | June 18, 2008 7:59 AM

Next up "Guys who wear thong bathing suits"
A top ten number and I don't give a fuck what you think.

Posted by Vince | June 18, 2008 8:40 AM

I'm pro Speedo and I vote.

Posted by poster Girl | June 18, 2008 9:44 AM

My solution is to go to a clothing optional beach.

What you see, is what you get.

Posted by michael strangeways | June 18, 2008 10:43 AM


is that guy the love child of Richard Lewis and a Bay City Roller?

Posted by michael strangeways | June 18, 2008 10:44 AM

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