Slog: News & Arts

RSS icon Comments on Jen Graves Is Very Worked Up About This


Jen: My trust fund makes me a better writer, because I'm more likely to take risks that might get me fired.

Posted by Matt Davis | June 5, 2008 5:29 PM

at first i thought that fist picture was the arms and tits of a headless woman.

Posted by sepiolida | June 5, 2008 5:30 PM

My trust fund has no bearing on my writing, except to have allowed me to travel a whole fucking hell of a lot and, thus, I suppose, gain experiences I can write about.

But you rarely hear about the world awaiting The Great Positano Novel.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | June 5, 2008 5:31 PM

#2, I was about to write that exact comment. Seriously. View from above of a headless, naked woman.

Posted by w7ngman | June 5, 2008 5:33 PM

GOD DAMN IT JEN. Now you've made me want to read the book to see if I agree with you or not. Gah!

Posted by arduous | June 5, 2008 5:41 PM

Ms. Graves, your anger is righteous. My friend went through intense discrimination and was forced out of her fucking job while pregnant last year and would barely talk about it, much less whine. This thankless nanny-having asshole needs to check herself.

Posted by bronkitis | June 5, 2008 5:42 PM

My trust fund's non-existence makes me a worse writer by obliging me to hold down a day job with time and effort that would otherwise be spent... um... well, playing Final Fantasy.  So, nevermind.

Posted by lostboy | June 5, 2008 5:48 PM

Me, I married really well.

Posted by elenchos | June 5, 2008 5:52 PM

Jen, that's really tame. I know you can do better.

Posted by Mr. Poe | June 5, 2008 5:54 PM

No, it doesn't judging from your awful blog, it makes you an annoying white guy who whines about stupid shit. your trust fund has made you boring, while also giving you more time to write about your boring life.
graves hit this nail on the head.

Posted by mr. pohl | June 5, 2008 5:58 PM

I was sympathetic until the word "nanny."

Nobody with a nanny has my sympathy.

Posted by Steve | June 5, 2008 5:58 PM

I support Jen's outrage. This woman chose to have a child, nobody stuck a gun to her head and told her, "implant this fertilized egg or else." It sounds to me like she is one lucky woman to be blessed with a child, blessed with money, and blessed with a strong support network to help her out.

I am sick to death of people writing about pregnancy, childbirth, and children like we all are the first fucking generation of people on this planet who've ever given birth. Jesus Christ if our grandparents and great-grandparents had whined this much about kids they would've been bitch slapped into two centuries ago and told "see how you like it without modern medicine, plumbing, and cheerios you asshats."

Posted by PopTart | June 5, 2008 6:10 PM

PopTart is seriously on a roll.

Posted by lostboy | June 5, 2008 6:13 PM

I fucking love this review. If this woman goes on a reading tour, can we send Jen and someone with a video camera to the reading?

Posted by Jessica | June 5, 2008 6:15 PM

BRavo, Pop Tart! and A-Men!

Posted by longball | June 5, 2008 6:21 PM

It's rather appalling isn't it - to be single and have a baby and the only way you can survive is to toss the poor tot into day orphanages and hire nannies?

Posted by raindrop | June 5, 2008 6:22 PM

Having seen many more fists than headless naked women, it took me a lot of squinty-eyed staring to see how the photo was anything other than a fist. Especially in the context of the article. Methinks you guys have some issuez.

Dead-on review/rant, however.

Posted by avatar | June 5, 2008 6:26 PM

Rich kids identifying themselves as members of the downtrodden classes is one of America's oldest and proudest traditions.

Posted by flamingbanjo | June 5, 2008 6:28 PM

So was Josh Feit fired?

Here's what Dan Savage says, not convincingly...

"Josh Feit wasn't fired -- not that my saying so will satisfy the nuts. He wanted a break, a change, and so he left the paper. He wasn't pushed."

So Dan says only the nuts ask this question. But the facts are Josh Feit left abruptly and in a world that documents every twitch of the face in the mirror, suddenly this is not a topic worth discussion.

But Dan's your statement is just bull shit.

Josh wanted a raise. You wouldn't give it to him, so he quit in a huff.

Dan, for a guy in the self-celebration business, you seem a little touchy.

But if it feels good, just do it, right Dan?

So can we please get someone to tell the story the Stranger won't tell?

Posted by Dan, you're supposed to know nuts--now can we hear from Josh | June 5, 2008 6:29 PM

To everybody out there, I ran into Josh last week and asked him about this.

Savage is not telling the whole story. Josh is pretty broken up. The Stranger was his life and, next to Savage, he was the paper's best writers.

It's bullshit the way Dan Savage has treated Josh Feit. The guy is now out of work. Is that supposed to be funny, Dan?

I'm loyal reader but this is pretty lousy. I read the Stranger for some honest reporting, not this crap.

Posted by A friend of Josh | June 5, 2008 6:34 PM

the level of fists and fisting related things of late, makes ones soul all fluttery and ones hand reach for the jug o' lube.

Posted by pissy mcslogbot | June 5, 2008 6:34 PM

What is with the trolls today? Is it the sunlight?

Posted by Abby | June 5, 2008 6:43 PM

So is there a Josh story here?

Posted by Well, what did happen? | June 5, 2008 6:47 PM

"the elephant of economics lounging in the middle of her book"


Posted by mike | June 5, 2008 6:53 PM

As someone who's been there, getting inseminated means going online, choosing the traits you want as best as you can identify them from a profile, and dragging the mate of your choice into a shopping cart. After years of failed relationships with genetically questionable men, it was cathartic.

Posted by Erica T. | June 5, 2008 6:58 PM

I looked up the book on Amazon and the back cover starts:

"Andrea Askowitz has the best life in the world. She's pregnant and healthy. She has friends and family who love her. She has money and meaningful work. and all she can do is obsess about the one thing she doesn't have: Kate, her ex-girlfriend. My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian pregnancy is a funny, whiny, all-too-real account..."

So this book might suck, but it hardly sounds like it's hiding the fact that it's not about poor single motherhood. It's a self-confessed whiny supposedly comic account. How come the author isn't allowed to tell that tale if'n she wants?

Posted by leek | June 5, 2008 7:31 PM

i liked the use of "read between the whines" when alluding to the woman's unspoken wealth. good one.

Posted by ellarosa | June 5, 2008 7:32 PM

When I first saw this headline I gasped audibly (sometimes one has to gasp inaudibly due to circumstances) and I thought, no, this cannot be the same person. Then I read the excerpt and I was sure...I knew ms. askowitz back in her dc days and am astounded to know that she still, seemingly has not scaled up the post of self awareness since the 90s. I have to say, she was humourous to the point of such self-deprecation that you thought, hmmm that's got to hurt right, that's not really funny. Back then, as well, she was pining for a half-requited love. Hopefully, she's won't pass on the self-deprecating/you really like me? trait on to her progeny. I wish her well, astounded that she can actually write something that was published (I heard her poetry too!), but wow. Hmm, who is that publisher.

Posted by stone | June 5, 2008 7:47 PM


Posted by Bellevue Ave | June 5, 2008 7:49 PM

My cousin has a trust fund. But he's mentally unstable and can't keep a job for more than half a day, so his parents set him up with one, rather than have him deal meth out of a trailer on their vacation property. Which I think he does anyway.

Posted by rb | June 5, 2008 8:14 PM

Twenty bucks says she has a Google Alert for her name and shows up all indignant here in the next 24 hours.

Posted by Jessica | June 5, 2008 8:25 PM

A friend of mine in college was set to inherit about a $100 million trust fund when he turned 30. Which sounds nice, except his entire family was crazier than a rabid bat. And he wasn't too far behind.

Something to be said for earning your living.

Posted by Julie | June 5, 2008 8:33 PM

Josh is pregnant?

Posted by stinkbug | June 5, 2008 8:37 PM

@31 Oh, is that how they do it? I always wondered how they knew.

Posted by PopTart | June 5, 2008 8:45 PM

If you really want to blow a gasket, read her blog on (just search for the book title and then scroll down). It made my eyes bleed. Here's a little taste, on the (then) upcoming release of her book:

"So why am I so nervous? Because unlike the time I had my baby, when I knew with 100% certainty that my baby was the most adorable, amazing, genius baby alive and I was so confident presenting it to the world, this time I’m afraid people might think: Ugly baby." The post actually has a picture of her posing with her book wrapped in a baby blanket.

Posted by rb | June 5, 2008 9:29 PM

Gosh, I'd always pretty much assumed my grandparents must have whined at least as much as I do. I mean, first of all, is this all there is? Life has just got to be better than this, right? And second, well... who cares? The first reason is sufficient for me given the kind of challenges I have and the obvious lack of sympathy I get.

I've told you people about my whole mini trash can/micro trash can fiasco, right? Suffice it to say we still have a mini and it's always more than half empty. They're only charging for a micro but the neighbors don't know that. And you don't care! That's my whole point.

Posted by elenchos | June 5, 2008 9:35 PM

@35, I was almost, I say almost, about to give her the teensiest bit of the benefit of the doubt until I read that. A book in a baby blanket forbodes barfing in a bag.

Posted by Fnarf | June 5, 2008 9:49 PM

Graves nailed it.

I've met this type, the idle writer whose trust fund is obvious to everyone but never spoken of. They always have time for long trips and ultimate frisbee tournaments and their books reflect their lifestyles with titles like "A Year at the Shore" and "Lounging in Provence." The central theme generally consists of the author finding him/herself in some way, shape or form, unfettered by the demands of a troublesome day job.

The idle writers are generally pleasant and carefree and fun to hang around, if you happen to have the free time on a Tuesday afternoon.

It's be nice if people with jobs wrote books. Yes it's hard, but the books would be much better.

Posted by you have to suffer to write | June 5, 2008 10:02 PM


Posted by The Baron | June 5, 2008 10:17 PM

Um, I know trust fund is a reflexive response for anyone that seems unduly rich or able to afford way more than baseline comforts, but honestly, she doesn't have a trust fund. There are many ways to be "supported" and while trust fund is one way, its a lazy catchall for something that takes a lot of planning, commitment and executors. ROI, to throw out another catchall, might be better terminology.

Posted by Stone | June 5, 2008 10:58 PM

Brendan, I believe your use of the acute accent to denote a separately-voiced syllable, viz. "worked-upédness", to be incorrect. A grave accent would have been the more conventional way to signal this, and in the context of this story would also have furnished a delightful pun, n'est pas? Another possible choice is the dieresis, e.g. uncoördinated, ŕ la The New Yorker, but personally I consider that usage somewhat eccentric and artificial. Love and bestest.

Posted by banjoboy | June 5, 2008 10:59 PM

omg poptart i totally want to put your quote up in the parenting section of the bookshop i work in so the whiny ass parents who tell me their 3 year old needs more challenging reading can see it and shut the hell up. thanks! it made me so so happy.

Posted by bookgirl | June 5, 2008 11:01 PM

n'est-ce pas. Fuck.

Posted by banjoboy | June 5, 2008 11:08 PM

Stone, ROI has nothing to do with being able to take the time to write shitty books, consequence free.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | June 5, 2008 11:08 PM

This might be the first time Jen has ever been against a woman in print, I am truly fucking amazed.

Posted by chinchilla | June 5, 2008 11:52 PM

Way to go, Jen!

(even if I run a trust ...)

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 6, 2008 12:37 AM

oh, and tho it's obvious ... PopTart is the winner @12.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 6, 2008 12:40 AM

My trust fund allows me to pay to have someone else carry the fetus. Anybody know a good surrogate?

Posted by Spoogie | June 6, 2008 7:07 AM

Yeah. I'm with PopTart. Many women have an overwhelming sense that their pregnancy/birth/baby experience is just so much more interesting and inspiring than the billions of other experiences out there through history, but it only takes ten seconds of self-reflection to realize that an experience is not unique or interesting to others just because it is amazing to to you. Of course if we all spent time honestly reflecting on whether our personal feelings were relevant to the rest of the world, few of us would be posting comments on this or any other blog. We all think we have something interesting and unique to say, and its usually not nearly as interesting to the outside world as it is to our own little brains.

Posted by Mary F | June 6, 2008 7:16 AM

@48 - did you ask Mr. Poe?

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 6, 2008 8:54 AM

@ 19 and 20

From someone whose mother is an HR manger, I am obliged to tsk tsk at your immature behavior. Whether or not someone was actually wronged, this isn't really an appropriate place to air grievances. This is a private dispute and complaining publicly isn't going to help Josh at all, it will just further sour his relations with the Stranger.

Plus I don't care.

Posted by Tsk Tsk | June 6, 2008 9:43 AM

Maybe she will get a reality show next, kinda like those idiots who don't no when to quit having kids or juice themselves up with fertility drugs so they can have a litter. These shows are worse than the ones with the midgets on family outings. Here is an idea, in her show she could have a litter of midgets, kinda like snow white and the 7 dwarfs except they are all her kids. Now that is a show I could watch.

Posted by Sad Comment | June 6, 2008 9:53 AM

@52 - you mean like Tina Tequila?

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 6, 2008 10:29 AM

or is it Teela ... i never can remember who that whiny b.t.h is or which gender she messes with the heads of ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 6, 2008 10:33 AM

Well sort of, except she has a litter trying to get into her vagina. Either way the show could center around the motif of vagina as clown car.

Posted by Sad Comment | June 6, 2008 11:15 AM

Right you are Bellevue, however, if we make an assumption and run with it and gosh knows we have examples on a large scale (our government for example) aren't we just like andrea or geexz like George Bush? Now we can blame her self-absorption and bad writing on a trust fund -too simplistic and its simply not accurate, although the discussion of trust funds has been funny.

And you know as well as I do, that there is no consequence for bad book writing - I'm sure we just be viewed as "haters" by all those bad writers. The hell of it is, she probably has an option for a second book.

Posted by stone | June 6, 2008 12:53 PM

Every life is different. She has the right to write about her experience. Following Jen's thinking, we should insult and charge against anybody complaining of being overweight because there are millions of people starving in the world.

I don't think Askowitz will be pissed off by Jen's communist opinion. For sure it will bring more readers to the book.

Posted by waika | June 9, 2008 9:10 AM

If you bother to read the book, you'll just see that Askowitz is a great writer and she's getting great reviews. Sorry guys...

Posted by tulita | June 12, 2008 7:08 PM

Comments Closed

Comments are closed on this post.