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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Annals of Indigestion

posted by on June 10 at 11:03 AM

I think I ate a tainted tomato last weekend and spent most of yesterday sweating, shaking, and watching unspeakable things heaving themselves up from the depths of my body. Back when people were all worked up about bird flu, Annie Wagner said she wanted to die of a pandemic, to “die a historic death.” I never understood what she meant until yesterday.

Yesterday was a long, hazy, solitary misery until someone told me I wasn’t alone—that there were others, that our suffering was making headlines, that we were kneeling in bathrooms separately but together, in solidarity, as part of the long, sweaty fever-dream of History.

I didn’t just get food poisoning—I was part of a movement.

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Then again, it might have been the squirrel you ate, as well.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | June 10, 2008 11:19 AM

Make sure you report your illness to your local health authorities so they can track down where these tomatoes are coming from.

Posted by John | June 10, 2008 11:29 AM

Although I am a defense attorney (civil claims only) I still would recommend that you at least contact Bill Marler's office in Seattle and get on his list of affected people. He is by far the best attorney in this area does a great job. He keeps track of all of this stuff, even the much smaller claims like yours.

Posted by Adiabatic Man | June 10, 2008 11:53 AM

a bowel movement?

Posted by kelly | June 10, 2008 11:56 AM

I was eyeing the tomato in my kitchen this morning, debating whether to throw it out. The New Englander in me hates to waste food, but, um, the rest of me hates throwing up.

Sorry you got sick... that sucks.

Posted by Julie | June 10, 2008 11:56 AM

I totally agree with the wanting to die a historical death. Personally, I'm hoping to world blows up when I'm around 90.

Posted by Ashley | June 10, 2008 11:58 AM

Hope you called Public Health to let them know you think you may have come across a tainted tomato? This morning, I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that the only reported case in WA wasn't in King County, so if it's here too, I'm sure they want to know!

Hope you feel better today!

Posted by Jane | June 10, 2008 12:02 PM

Did you have a dream vision?

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 10, 2008 12:06 PM

A very liquid movement from what it sounds like.

Posted by pragmatic | June 10, 2008 12:14 PM

Please do everyone a favor and report it. Thanks!

Posted by Greg | June 10, 2008 12:22 PM

don't we get to know when and where too?

Posted by squidoo | June 10, 2008 12:37 PM

Don't just report it; GO TO A FUCKING DOCTOR. If you actually have salmonella, you're not going to get better sitting in front of the computer.

Posted by Fnarf | June 10, 2008 12:43 PM

Fnarf is right: if it's the tomato you gotta see the doc, Brendan. Take special care - and remember: sweating is sexy.

Posted by M.A. | June 10, 2008 12:49 PM


Posted by Squirrel Liberation Front | June 10, 2008 1:05 PM

I'm just one salmonella poisoning away from my ideal pant-size!

Posted by NapoleonXIV | June 10, 2008 1:13 PM

Did you buy the tomatoes at a store or were they on a salad you purchased out?

I used to feel relatively safe having a salad if I prepared it myself (Salad bars can be lethal because even though employees may be rigorous about washing hands, customers are not.) But now, having a fucking salad is a spin of the Wheel of Fortune.

It's a real shame, too, not only because of the deterioration of food safety in this country, but also because salads - like sandwiches - are so much better when prepared by someone else.

Posted by Bauhaus | June 10, 2008 1:19 PM

I've been in a stare-off with the tomatoes on my counter. Did you get yours at the Safeway on 15th? What type was it? Inquiring minds and currently-healthy GI tracts want to know.

Posted by Jessica | June 10, 2008 1:22 PM

I'm glad I don't eat fresh tomatoes outside of August, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time before apples and carrots and cucumbers and all other fresh fruit and vegetables wind up contaminated.

Posted by keshmeshi | June 10, 2008 2:03 PM

i've just stayed away from the red, round tomatoes, so i've been fine.

Posted by max solomon | June 10, 2008 2:20 PM

Roma tomatoes aren't round, they're more oblong ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 10, 2008 2:51 PM

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