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Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Re: That Nightlife Isn’t Gonna Crack Down On Itself

posted by on June 3 at 16:20 PM

Instead of complaining about the city hiring someone to coordinate what has been, up to this point, its comically inept efforts to crack down on nightclubs (fuck you, Tom Carr), perhaps we could view this new hire as an opportunity?

A highly-placed operative of the Seattle nightlife-industrial complex should apply for this job. And the first order of business for our double agent once he’s hired: Working closely with the state liquor control board on a new set of regulations that would allow adults in our state to—finally—enjoy strippers and alcoholic beverages at the same time, just like adults are permitted to do in Portland, Oregon, Vancouver, BC, and other civilized locations.

And, hey, maybe the owners of strip clubs wouldn’t have to resort to criminal activities if they could sell something with a better profit margin than lapdances and $5 Cokes.

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i hope seattle never legalizes alcholoic beverages in strip clubs so they will wither away and die.

Posted by slutface | June 3, 2008 4:29 PM

OK, time to remind Dan that when he went to Iowa and worked undercover as a campaign volunteer for a Republican, it ended in tears. And you could have been shot sneaking a fake gun into city hall.

So. No, Dan. Just no. Not you, and not some poor sap you talked into some kind of horrible malfeasance indictment. No.

Can't we repeal these stupid laws the normal way?

Posted by elenchos | June 3, 2008 4:33 PM

What Highly Placed Operative of the Seattle Nightlife Establishment wouldn't be seen coming from a mile away? Who wouldn't the Mayor know and instantly quash?

It's too bad The Stranger doesn't have a public intern anymore.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | June 3, 2008 4:39 PM

I'm pretty sure Frank Colacurcio would be involved in criminal activities even if drinking were allowed in strip clubs.

Posted by Aislinn | June 3, 2008 4:42 PM

Frank Colacurcio has been the main mobster in Seattle for more than half a century. One of the main reasons the only strip clubs in seattle are a couple of chains and his clubs are not because they're not profitable is because Colacurcio is a gangster.

Letting him sell booze won't solve the problem.

Posted by Andrew | June 3, 2008 4:42 PM

If we were to allow strippers AND booze in the same venue, we would have shootings or stabbings outside nightclubs, and our daughters would insist on having pole dancing taught in the public schools. The teen pregnancy rate would skyrocket. Young men would drift into homosexuality.

Name me ONE "world class city" that allows booze and strippers. Or allows liquor sales through grocery stores or privately run liquor stores. Or allows the sale of alcohol after 2am.

Everyone knows that liquor and fun - especially sexual "fun" (degrading and debasing as it is) don't mix. Look at boobies in clean and sober shame. Drink like a fish, free from the spectre of titties. Do it for the children

Posted by Seattle Liberal Prude | June 3, 2008 4:51 PM

Most businesses that deal on a primarily cash basis never manage to be "profitable."

It doesn't mean they're not making money, of course, which is what the Fed's raid is all about.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | June 3, 2008 4:51 PM

What about doing away with beer gardens and letting people stand outside bars with alcoholic beverages in hand?

Posted by keshmeshi | June 3, 2008 4:55 PM

The State still controls liquor laws not the City of Seattle. So the whole booze and strippers thing isn't something someone in this job could make happen.
Having someone with industry experience is not a bad idea. It has always seemed to me that a few problem clubs were making life difficult for the rest. No pun intended but if they raised the bar on management it would lead to both a better nightlife safety and profit wise.

Posted by Zander | June 3, 2008 4:57 PM

Can't we change the strip club rules by initiative? It's not like they could get any dumber, right?

Posted by Greg | June 4, 2008 2:26 PM

Welcome to the new and improved Soviet society of sex police. These girls work for good money and provide a valuable service. We adults don't need the state to tell us how to behave. Fuck the sex police!

Posted by Vince | June 4, 2008 3:01 PM

Vince - You seem to be confusing the sex TRADE and the sex POLICE. The sex TRADE wants to fuck for money. The sex POLICE don't want to be fucked - hell, they don't want anybody to be fucked. If you insist on fucking the sex POLICE, you DO need someone (little pink angels, or Cthulhu, if not the state) to tell you how to behave.

Personally, I think you should be able to do anything you want in bars. They just need chain-link fences (or fancy stone walls) around them so that you can't get out into the world until you are sober again. Perhaps this means hotels, cubicles, or little slots in the wall like Tokyo, inside the walls.

But more practically, they would make more money in total if the bars and strip clubs are near each other but not the same, and people have to go back and forth. Cabs, snack food, door charges, all kinds of economic opportunity. But then you have to zone whole NEIGHBORHOODS for partying, and most of America isn't ready for that.

I guess the conservatives' model is that you do all this stuff in private clubs instead of public places. It's the "ownership society".

Posted by Chainsaw | June 4, 2008 5:43 PM

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