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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Davy Jones’s Foot Locker

posted by on June 24 at 13:03 PM

Remember that sixth human foot that washed ashore in Canada last week?

It wasn’t human.

From the Independent:

“Human” remains found at the mouth of the Campbell River on Vancouver Island actually consisted of an animal paw mixed with seaweed, stuffed into a sock and inserted into an old adidas trainer.

The only thing more fucked up than people finding human feet on the beach? Other people planting fake human feet on the beach.

To recapitulate: The other five feet are real. Four are from men, four are from right feet. Nobody knows where they’re coming from. A serial killer? A people-smuggling attempt gone wrong? A box full of feet that’s only now rusted through and opened?

Canadian officials, who are treating the investigation as a criminal inquiry, have so far discounted just one potential explanation: a 2005 plane crash in the Georgia Strait, from which four men are still missing. The families of the victims were told yesterday that DNA samples from their loved ones did not match any of the genuine human remains.

Curiouser and curiouser.

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We get it. Feet washed up. We get it.

Though I'd rather have a fifth feet post than a theater post any day.

Posted by Non | June 24, 2008 1:09 PM

Old news, this has been published everywhere since last week.

Posted by Jose | June 24, 2008 1:11 PM

Jose is right.

Or he was a few days ago.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 24, 2008 1:24 PM

In the plane crash theory, the four missing guys would all have had at least one foot severed on impact. It's surprising that anyone believed that.

Posted by yuiop | June 24, 2008 1:38 PM

This shit is straight out of Dexter

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | June 24, 2008 1:44 PM

@3 NON is right too!! That's why we're all here, right? To be right?

Posted by Non | June 24, 2008 1:45 PM


And what are the odds that only their right feet would be found?

Posted by keshmeshi | June 24, 2008 1:47 PM

a mystery is afoot!!!

Posted by josh bomb | June 24, 2008 1:48 PM

"...DNA samples...did not match any of the genuine human remains." Brilliant.

Posted by umvue | June 24, 2008 1:48 PM

It's so much like Dexter its scary.

Posted by catnextdoor | June 24, 2008 1:49 PM

@4 Actually the theory of the plane crash isn't that the feet came off on impact but rather that's all that's left after decomposition and being turned into fish food because the sneakers protected the feet. So it was plausible.

The non-human story has been around but this is the first I heard that the DNA came back negative on the plane crash. Of course the plane crash wouldn't have explained the female foot...

Posted by PopTart | June 24, 2008 1:49 PM

I'm hoping this isn't some sort of promotion for the upcoming X-Files movie...


Theatre posts ROCK!

Posted by michael strangeways | June 24, 2008 1:57 PM

Some kind of plane or boat accident is still a possibility. Ocean currents can carry things a long ways, and if it happened in the deep ocean the cold temperatures could preserve something for a while.

Posted by Giffy | June 24, 2008 2:21 PM

How old were the shoes? They should be able to tell by the style, check with the companies, etc etc.

Posted by monkey | June 24, 2008 2:41 PM

teenage boys can be pretty funny.

Posted by max solomon | June 24, 2008 2:56 PM

I found a foot in a shoe
And so I ate the foot
Then I got really sick from

Posted by Breklor | June 24, 2008 4:49 PM

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