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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Crush of Shame

posted by on June 25 at 12:53 PM


It’s common knowledge that attractive people are attractive. Much more interesting to me are the negligibly attractive—normal-looking-or-lower people who nevertheless produce spasms of lust in otherwise sane citizens.

Recently I quizzed a group of friends about their personal shame crushes—which, as I explained, couldn’t just be non-glamorous people, but must be those aggressively contrary to the common “sex symbol” ideal. (For example, Johnny Knoxville and Jean Enersen don’t qualify, Kid Rock and Jean Godden do. To find your true shame crush, you must dig deep. If your ego isn’t squirming, you’re not doing it right.)

My friends’ responses were as illuminating and upsetting as I’d hoped.
One sane young gay man expressed his bottomless lust for James Gandolfini.

Another sane 40-something straight man revealed his mysterious attraction to former Secretary of State of Florida Katherine Harris.

A lovely heterosexual woman shared her confusing childhood lust for Eric Stoltz in Mask, inspiring an equally lovely heterosexual man to reveal his ongoing crush on Charlize Theron in Monster.

As for me, when it comes to shame crushes, I’m a Bruce Willis-in-1995/baseball-capped-shlub-from-the-inexplicable-syndicated-sitcom-Yes Dear kind of guy.

(Also, at least once, I’ve wondered what it would be like to kiss CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin on the lips.)

Please help further my understanding of humanity by sharing your shame crush in the comments.

RSS icon Comments


Sure, I'll play. Jesse Jones on King 5 news. I love when he says "This is Jesse Jones reporting." As a matter of fact I can hear it in my head right now.

Also, Josh Brown formerly of the Seahawks, now of the awww, who the fuck cares I'm still in mourning he's gone.

Posted by PopTart | June 25, 2008 1:12 PM

DJ Qualls, and that British comic on Last Comic Standing last year, Matt Kirshen.

I don't see how Bruce Willis meets your criteria, unless you lust after the current incarnation. He's been a sex symbol since his Moonlighting days.

Posted by Nightlifejitters | June 25, 2008 1:13 PM

Dana Perino donkey-punch, aw yeah!

Posted by levide | June 25, 2008 1:14 PM

Ms Heigl - I know she's a smoker, I don't want to sleep with smokers, but OMG I so want to do her.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 25, 2008 1:15 PM

Mr. Poe

Posted by god forgive me | June 25, 2008 1:15 PM

Young Jane Goodall: My regular crush.

Old Jane Goodall: My crush of shame.

Posted by anthropologist | June 25, 2008 1:15 PM

Jeff Goldblum

Posted by beau | June 25, 2008 1:18 PM

Seth Rogan, though I don't think he's particularly cringeworthy.

Fred Willard, now...that one I feel shame about. Dirty, sexy shame.

Posted by Karla | June 25, 2008 1:18 PM

Philip Seymour Hoffman. 20-year-old straight girl here.

Posted by Sofia | June 25, 2008 1:19 PM

The chick from Esurance commercials (its fucking car insurance why do I have a hard on?)

also, Jimmy Kimmel. I want to top him. I bet he'd be all soft and squishy

@3 Dana needs more than a donkey punch, maybe follow that up with a Falcon punch!!

Posted by high and bi | June 25, 2008 1:20 PM

Dan Savage.

Posted by Mr. Poe | June 25, 2008 1:21 PM

this doesn't really fit the part of the game, but the schlub from Yes, Dear...his wife (the "fat" straight haired one) has been a crush of mine for years.

Posted by harold | June 25, 2008 1:22 PM

Bob Hoskins. More Bob Hoskins from Who Killed Roger Rabit than Bob Hoskins from today. But he was naked last year in Mrs. Henderson Presents, which was a pleasant surprise.

Posted by skweetis | June 25, 2008 1:22 PM

#7 OMG, me too!

Posted by tabletop_joe | June 25, 2008 1:24 PM

Katherine Heigl is one of the most attractive women in entertainment. Please.

This contest doesn't make any sense, as everyone chose someone who has served as romantic leads in films (aside from the truly annoying Jesse Jones, well done) so try again, people!

I'm going with Barney Frank.

Posted by me | June 25, 2008 1:24 PM

I am not ashamed of having lust for James Gandolfini... and you even posted the goatee picture from The Mexican!

mmm... gay bear assassin. yum.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | June 25, 2008 1:26 PM

I'm going to go with Nancy Pelosi. Not a younger, prettier version, I want old lady Nancy Pelosi right fuckin' now, on a pool table, with whipped cream, Hawaiian noises, and an oversize rolled up copy of the constitution that I can use to swat her beautiful, powerful ass.

Posted by Hernandez | June 25, 2008 1:28 PM

Some people and I were having a similar conversation outside West Seattle Bowl last night during a bowling league smoke break. Someone was saying how they don't understand their 20 something female friend's raging lust for Tom Colicchio from Top Chef. Nor do I. Another girl admitted (although not ashamedly) her serious attraction to Anthony Bourdain (I concur - raawr!) Personally, my shame crush is someone I used to be too ashamed to admit because it is contrary to everything I hold dear both physically and musically, but I've since gotten over the shame. Lead singer guy from Nickelback.

Posted by Callie | June 25, 2008 1:28 PM

Hilary Clinton. Gods help me, Hilary "I dodged sniper fire" Rodham fuckin' Clinton.

Posted by Max | June 25, 2008 1:29 PM

Dame Judi Dench... that woman's got POWER.

Posted by FrantikGirl | June 25, 2008 1:30 PM

Oh, and I think I can speak for both myself and Elenchos when I say:

Erica C. Barnett. Yum.

Posted by Hernandez | June 25, 2008 1:32 PM

ugh, dino rossi and mitt romney. im so ashamed.

but im not ashamed to be totally gay for david paterson.

Posted by um | June 25, 2008 1:34 PM

nancy pelosi.

Posted by blank | June 25, 2008 1:36 PM

Oh yeah. I forgot to add that inmho Jeff Goldblum and Bruce Willis so totally DON'T count. Jeff Goldblum is an extremely attractive guy, and Bruce Willis has been a Hollywood leading man/sex symbol forever.

Posted by Callie | June 25, 2008 1:42 PM

John Malkovich.

And I totally have a crush on Tom Colicchio from Top Chef--but apparently last fall he was nominated for one of People's Sexiest Men Alive spots.

Oh, and totally Gene Hackman of now.

Posted by anna | June 25, 2008 1:43 PM

Sandra Bernhard

Posted by Le Juif | June 25, 2008 1:43 PM

fran drescher.

she's attractive, i know - but repugnant at the same time.

Posted by max solomon | June 25, 2008 1:44 PM



Posted by Mr. Poe | June 25, 2008 1:46 PM
Posted by tabletop_joe | June 25, 2008 1:47 PM

Ed Roland of the rock band Collective Soul. He's not looking so hot these days, but oh well.
Shhh, don't tell anyone.

Posted by soullessjoejackson | June 25, 2008 1:49 PM

Must it be human?

Posted by heywhatsit | June 25, 2008 1:50 PM

31: Not necessarily, but dear God I'm hope you're thinking of something like Goofy or Tinky-Winky, and not a particular living dog or horse...

Posted by David Schmader | June 25, 2008 1:53 PM

Judd Hirsch. That nose.

Posted by scharrera | June 25, 2008 1:53 PM

Miguel Ferrer - I'd make him talk the whole time, Lordy, I love that voice!

Oh, and I'd totally shamelessly do that bear model guy in the other day's SLOG post.

These shameless crushes - they're akin to what I like to call a "moped." The definition is "fun to ride, but you wouldn't want your friends to catch you on one."

Posted by bucket | June 25, 2008 1:54 PM

Sometimes I think Jeff Goldblum is hot, but usually he's way too weird looking. (Thank you #29.) However, I do have a big ol crush on Steve Buscemi.

Posted by annie | June 25, 2008 1:55 PM

Mike Lavallier, who used to be a catcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates (late 80's, early 90's). He was kind of dumpy, and scraggly and not terribly articulate, but there was something about him that appealed to my adolescent horniness.

But to give you someone you all have heard of...James Carville. I don't have a clue why. He's way old, he talks funny (though I notice that less since I've lived in Louisiana for six years), and he's annoying. Plus, I know some of his family in Lousiana, which should make him less attractive. But there is something about him...

Posted by SheWho | June 25, 2008 1:57 PM

@28 What? What? It's a SHAME crush.

Okay, if I were a lesbo, Sandra Bernhard.

Posted by Le Juif | June 25, 2008 1:59 PM

@ 9, there's absoluetly no shame in that. He's a beautiful beautiful man.

As a little kid I had a GIANT crush on Charlie Chaplin and harpo marx (shiver) .....Kinda still do....

Posted by Michelle | June 25, 2008 2:04 PM

Lindsey Wagner (then & now)

Posted by fARTing | June 25, 2008 2:04 PM

that guy from "the shield" who played the thing in the fantastic 4 movies. and that roma/bear model from the vivienne westwood show. and, to a much, much lesser extent, vic tayback.

Posted by brandon | June 25, 2008 2:05 PM

I must be extremely vain because I can't think of a non-attractive famous person that I'm attracted to.

Posted by boxofbirds | June 25, 2008 2:06 PM

Mario Cuomo (or any of his sons)

Posted by Mike | June 25, 2008 2:06 PM

I am really ashamed....

.....First Lady Laura Bush.

I sometimes fantasize about Laura and Condoleezza in the Lincoln bedroom.

God help me.

Posted by re:spect | June 25, 2008 2:08 PM

It's funny, at first I thought, "I don't have any shame crushes," and a second later, I knew who mine was -- Ann Coulter. She is a vile human being (well, the latter is debatable) and attention-whore. And yet, I'd do her in a second if offered the chance.

Posted by bookworm | June 25, 2008 2:09 PM



I don't have many "shame crushes". Most people think I should be ashamed of the majority of dudes I'd blow. If I had to seriously answer the question, it'd be George W. Bush.

Posted by Rufio (From Hook) | June 25, 2008 2:11 PM

My mom.

Posted by Sicko | June 25, 2008 2:13 PM

Tim Curry. Hervey Keitel. That guy who played Skinner on the X-Files.

Posted by Victoria | June 25, 2008 2:13 PM

Vladimir Putin. Ever since those pictures of him, bare-chested and fishing in Siberia.

Posted by Ben Weldon | June 25, 2008 2:18 PM

WAIT--all I needed was a mention!

Harvey Keitel. Back in The Piano and up to today. I'd be totally ashamed. But I'd totally do it.

Posted by Rufio (From Hook) | June 25, 2008 2:19 PM

This was quite a while ago, but: Ellen.

Imagine my heartbreak when she came out.

Posted by K | June 25, 2008 2:20 PM

Frizzelle; his chill attitude is sexy. Tall, etc.

Posted by Non | June 25, 2008 2:22 PM

Martha Stewart. So Waspy, yet an underlying current of mischief.

Posted by Mr_Friendly | June 25, 2008 2:23 PM

Does Jorge Posada count as shameful? My oh my. I will call bull on anyone who names the Big Unit, though. That ain't possible.

Posted by skinny | June 25, 2008 2:24 PM

I don't know that I have any current shame crushes. But I am certainly ashamed of my previous crush on Wesley Crusher (not Wil Wheaton, mind you, the character).

Posted by Julie | June 25, 2008 2:26 PM

Didier Drogba, awful hair, Chelsea jersey, and all. God help me.

Posted by Abby | June 25, 2008 2:27 PM


Posted by I'm easy. | June 25, 2008 2:31 PM

I guess my standards are really broad, because 95% of these don't seem "shameful" or weird to me at all, though I'm not necessarily attracted to them myself.

A friend of mine once confessed to having the hots for Shane MacGowan. Now THAT one is shameful.

Posted by stresskitten | June 25, 2008 2:31 PM

I'd have an angrysex sandwich with Michelle Malkin and Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

Posted by T | June 25, 2008 2:32 PM

@57 I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | June 25, 2008 2:33 PM

Nevermind, Frizzelle is no shame crush.

A younger George W. Bush is, though.
he's actually pretty attractive on the outside

Posted by Non | June 25, 2008 2:35 PM

i'm gonna have to second Le Juif: Sandra Bernhardt.

Posted by brett | June 25, 2008 2:40 PM

Amy Goodman.

Posted by DOUG. | June 25, 2008 2:41 PM

Will Ferrell. I know it's wrong but he only need say the word.

Also, Rob Zombie... grrrr

Posted by monkey | June 25, 2008 2:41 PM

Barbara Feldon. word.

Posted by ho' know | June 25, 2008 2:46 PM

I have to add a vote for Jeff Goldblum. Particularly as Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park. And Alan Rickman. But not as Snape.

Posted by MarsGirl | June 25, 2008 3:04 PM

Vincent D'Onofrio, especially when he has clearly been stress eating. And I desperately want to have sex with Sean Astin... but only as hairy, hairy Sam. omg or Al Gore when he reemerged with a full beard. That would be the creepiest makeout session ever. Like, creepy hot.

Posted by craig b | June 25, 2008 3:05 PM

Paul Constant, ever since I saw his 'before' picture in that article where he got all manned up. Strictly the 'before' version. Not that I feel it's the least bit shameful. Mmm, serve me up some of that nerd. Yeah.

Posted by Stacy in Austin | June 25, 2008 3:07 PM


Posted by Gurldoggie | June 25, 2008 3:08 PM

uh, half these crushes you idiots are mentioning are attractive, though I'm guessing you're also including the idealogically unattractive.

Gandolfini is hot. Goldblum is hot AND hung.
Barbara Feldon is smokin'.

They'd have to lose about a hundred lbs a piece but fat comedians Drew Carey and Kevin James have something about them...

Posted by michael strangeways | June 25, 2008 3:10 PM

Mine are Frohike from the X-Files, Jon Lovitz, Mark Addy (of 'The Full Monty' fame, as well as that crap sitcom with Jamie Gertz), a heartily seconded Steve Buscemi, and Janitor from Scrubs.

Meanwhile, I was talking to my mom, who rattled off this list: Judd Hirsch, Dennis Franz, the guy who played Pontius Pilate in 'Jesus Christ Superstar' and Fred Thompson. My ears withered and died. Especially when she said that GW is on her laminated list.

Posted by rickibot | June 25, 2008 3:15 PM

To you they're hot and unshameful, ms, but not to all of us. Katherine Heigl is hot - but the smoking thing is a real heavy turn-off and icky but I so want to do her anyway, which makes it a shameful crush. Kind of like Michelle Malkin would be.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 25, 2008 3:19 PM

Mine are Frohike from the X-Files, Jon Lovitz, Mark Addy (of 'The Full Monty' fame, as well as that crap sitcom with Jamie Gertz), a heartily seconded Steve Buscemi, and Janitor from Scrubs.

Meanwhile, I was talking to my mom, who rattled off this list: Judd Hirsch, Dennis Franz, the guy who played Pontius Pilate in 'Jesus Christ Superstar' and Fred Thompson. My ears withered and died. Especially when she said that GW is on her laminated list.

Posted by rickibot | June 25, 2008 3:20 PM

I don't even know if they're shameful. Like, does Ira Glass count? Because nobody -- NOBODY -- is more attractive to me than Ira Glass.

I assume Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are outside of the boundaries of shame, but. . . basically, nerdy people do it for me. And I like it when they do it with me.

Oh. . . how about Patrick Stewart ("Jean Luc PIcard")? Is he shameworthy? Every time he says, "Earl Grey, hot" it sends a shiver down my spine. Hot, indeed.

Posted by violet_dagrinder | June 25, 2008 3:24 PM

keith coogen

Posted by miss jo | June 25, 2008 3:33 PM

His music repulses me, as does the permanent "I'm a dumbass" look on his face, but goddamn if I haven't fantasized at length about knocking boots with Toby Keith.

Yep, the asshole who sings the "we'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way" song.

Now THAT'S a shame crush.

Posted by Kalakalot | June 25, 2008 3:34 PM

This is a fun thread. Seriously - ice queen Isabelle Huppert is mine. She's so freaky and intense, she turns me on every time. Same goes for Rep. Sharon Tomiko Santos. And there's something about Sissy Spacek that gets me going, especially when she was young and crazy in "Badlands" or "3 Women." Now you know.

Posted by Gurldoggie | June 25, 2008 3:36 PM

I'd let Mahmoud Ahmadinejad fuck me, but I guess he's kind of good looking...

Posted by crispy | June 25, 2008 3:37 PM

Tonya Harding

Posted by Mahtli69 | June 25, 2008 3:40 PM

Jocelyn Elders

Posted by jb | June 25, 2008 3:46 PM

@75 FTW!

Posted by Callie | June 25, 2008 3:48 PM

I have to go with the singing guy in the commercials. I don't know why but that lip thing he does gets me every time.

Posted by freakshow | June 25, 2008 3:53 PM

Dear Violet,

All those men are QUITE hot, esp Patrick Stewart. If you haven't seen it, rent or buy I, Claudius to check out a nearly nude Jean-Luc Picard circa 1976.

Posted by michael strangeways | June 25, 2008 3:54 PM

Bugs Bunny in Drag. For real. I've tried to deny it or make sense of it for years, to no avail.
Thank you for this forum to finally get this out.

Posted by 30SomethingStraightMale | June 25, 2008 4:01 PM

Mmmm...Jeff Goldblum (especially in Life Aquatic), and I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets little excited staring at the thin lips and sheepish naughty schoolboy look sported by Vladimir Putin (he's why we were Russia in Model UN during college).

But: Steve Coogan

Posted by KatieDewi | June 25, 2008 4:05 PM

Uhm, I feel dirty (and old), that somehow I'm in the same category with George W. Bush and Harvey Keitel, of people you'd blow. Dan Savage, OK, but Bush? Ick. I need my brain washed out with soap and water.

Posted by Le Juif | June 25, 2008 4:19 PM

Dude! @81, I am SO with you. Something about ALL of them, although passenger side guy is nothing to be ashamed of. I would do 'em all at once.

Posted by Callie | June 25, 2008 4:20 PM

Ethan Hawke probably doesn't qualify. Some people think he's ugly and snaggle-toothed, but I've always had the hots for him.

Another odd one for me is Patrick Steward (Captain Picard). I'm usually attracted to younger twinky guys, but he always gets me going. It's the voice, I think.

Oh, and yes, Harvey Keitel. Totally. Again, way against type for me.

Oh! And probably the most embarrassing: Carrot Top.

(All of you voting for Jeff Goldblum should be disqualified. That is NOT a shameful crush.)

Posted by Reverse Polarity | June 25, 2008 4:28 PM

Tom Brokaw, in a heartbeat.

Posted by kerri harrop | June 25, 2008 4:35 PM

Oh, and, Gene Hackman. Even old.

Posted by kerri harrop | June 25, 2008 4:37 PM

I forgot one of mine, John Oliver of the Daily Show and the Bugle.

Posted by PopTart | June 25, 2008 4:42 PM

Penny, the helpful niece in the animated Inspector Gadget. I was 10, it wasn't pedophila.

Posted by abbo | June 25, 2008 4:44 PM

There was a show in the 90s, Boston Commons. The younger sister to Anthony Clark's character had perky boobs with nipples that could cut glass... Me want.

I saw Sunny Kobi Cook at the Northgate Silver Platters some years ago. Nice, little heinie for someone her age...

Posted by Fresh meat... | June 25, 2008 4:50 PM

Did somebody say Tinky Winky? Oh yeah.

Seriously, I could imagine myself pulling Michelle Malkin's hair while she begged for mercy, but only if I could kill her afterwards.

Shameful only because the image I have in mind is underage: Hayley Mills. Ohhhhhhh.....

Posted by Fnarf | June 25, 2008 4:55 PM

Pete Doherty and Noam Chomsky.

Posted by city kitty | June 25, 2008 5:03 PM

@46 - She wasn't that good.

I'm not ashamed to take the easy jokes.

Posted by sleestak | June 25, 2008 5:08 PM

Cliff Bemis - the dude from the IHOP commercials in the early 90s. Now there was a bear of a man.

Posted by Breakfast Sausage | June 25, 2008 5:09 PM

Abraham Lincoln impersonators.

What can I say - I dig truthiness... and top hats.

Posted by e-person | June 25, 2008 6:17 PM

fnarf, funny how both you and WiS mention michelle malkin (she who facilitated WiS idiotically calling me a "neocon), since you hate eachother. something clearly ironic in that.

Posted by ellarosa | June 25, 2008 6:50 PM

Karen Walker from Will & Grace. The character, not the actress. Megan Mullally isnt shame-worthy, but Karen is, IMO.

And weird crazy is James Lipton.

Posted by Allen | June 25, 2008 6:52 PM

Blaire (with an e)

Posted by Blah the quah | June 25, 2008 7:04 PM

does chris martin from coldplay count?

Posted by anthony | June 25, 2008 7:11 PM

@87... Ethan Hawke not attractive? Are these people insane? I think that of all the people mentioned, Ethan Hawke is the least qualified to be a shame crush.

Posted by Julie | June 25, 2008 7:11 PM

Allison Janney. No, I don't care that she's like twice my age, I'd bend her over the Resolute desk in a heartbeat.

Posted by supergp | June 25, 2008 9:10 PM

Brandon Cruz in "Courtship of Eddie's Father" but only when I was the same age - not now. And yes, Allison Janney in a heartbeat.

Posted by blue barberpole | June 25, 2008 9:37 PM

Brian Dennehy. Always and forever.

Posted by Sha | June 25, 2008 10:13 PM

Ron Perlman. Big time... especially in City of Lost Children, but even in that horrible Alien movie he was in. Can't wait for the new Hellboy movie.

Jeff Goldblum seems to be pretty standard... first thing I saw him in was Vibes with Cyndi Lauper and Julian Sands. He's hot now, but I'd argue he wasn't at the time.

Alan Rickman - not a looker, but his voice could drop me at a hundred yards. First thing I saw him in was Closetland, in which he was thoroughly horrifying and vile and yet devastatingly sexy at the same time.

Burn Gorman from Torchwood. Odd face, but great actor.

Oh, and I'll have to second Judi Dench. Wow. The outtake from Chocolat where she's flirting with Johnny Depp is just swoonworthy.

Posted by wench | June 25, 2008 11:23 PM

Kay Bailey Hutchison. Elizabeth Dole. Lisa Murkowski.

(A) Powerful women do it for me, and (B) in my fantasy universe my penis is powerful enough to cure them of their Republicanism.

Posted by Big Sven | June 25, 2008 11:45 PM

I can't believe nobody's mentioned Anne Robinson from The Weakest Link. Come ON, people.

Also: Old Yoko Ono.

Posted by John | June 26, 2008 3:07 AM

Big Sven @107: Great. Now the Republican-cock-cure is on my list too.

Posted by John | June 26, 2008 3:57 AM

In 2000, during the election, I had a monstrous crush on Al Gore. That wouldn't have been a shame crush, except I was seventeen at the time.

Posted by Christin | June 26, 2008 5:40 AM

Hmm. I seem to be drawing a blank. Maybe it's because all the super-hot celebrities out there distract me from lusting after shame crushes. Does it count that I used to have a huge thing for Sailor Mercury when I was 13?

Posted by Greg | June 26, 2008 8:22 AM

I once had a super-hot dream involving Morton Downey, Jr. (pre-facial-mole removal) and Genie Francis (from General Hospital) and yes, I know that Genie Francis is kind of cute, but DOWNEY? And both of them in the SAME dream?

I shudder with lust and shame every time I think about that dream.

Posted by Nora | June 26, 2008 8:27 AM

Ok, let's do this right.
Wee-man from Jackass & fat Ron Jeremy.

Posted by I'll never tell | June 26, 2008 8:50 AM

What a funny coincidence that news of Verne Troyer's sex tape is on defamer. Is he someone's crush of shame? Speak up!

Posted by DJSauvage | June 26, 2008 8:55 AM

Kevin Smith.

Posted by Original Monique | June 26, 2008 9:08 AM

Steve Buscemi

Posted by Stella | June 26, 2008 9:28 AM


Oh hell yes.

Posted by tabletop_joe | June 26, 2008 9:45 AM

fat, drunk-ass charles barkley

Posted by lori | June 26, 2008 9:57 AM

I totally get Kevin Smith. For me there would be "the bus", Gerome Bettis, from the Steelers and that Eugene guy who's always on Kieth Olberman's show. His personality makes me want to toss him around in bed for a night.

Posted by Jersey | June 26, 2008 10:10 AM

Currently:fat, slobby, perpetually hungover Vince Vaughn. I know that he's a leading man and everything, but I'm pretty sure it counts. Hatefucking, involving him throwing up at some point and being disgusted with eachother afterwards fits the bill. Mmmmm, perfect.

Posted by blondesnotbombs | June 26, 2008 10:26 AM

Clea DuVall

Posted by Ka-Blamm-O | June 26, 2008 10:48 AM

@81 and @86- You guys are my new best friends! I love that guy and his curly hair!!!

Posted by angelynseattle | June 26, 2008 11:46 AM

George C. Scott, since I was like 8 years old and saw "Day of the Dolphin". I have no explanation for this.

Posted by Ursula | June 26, 2008 12:59 PM

107 you're crazy. Have you ever seen Lisa Murkowski up close? I made her a cup of coffee once and she pretty much looks like Skeletor with a scary, unmoving, wig. Seriously. And she didn't tip.

Posted by Marsgirl | June 26, 2008 2:07 PM

Dangit, I'm late, and all you shameful pervs beat me to my shame crush. First one that came to mind?

Sandra Bernhard. I guess it's the smarts. 'cuz it sure ain't the face.

Katherine Heigl smoking is like Charlize Theron smoking, or Natalie Portman: I'd grant a special exemption, for one weekend.

Dana Perino, I only feel slightly shameful about. She so purdy. I hate the way that she parrots lies, but I'd like to think that somehow, my love could cure her.

Young Jane Goodall? Oh yeah! And I'm such a fan of the great apes, well, sure, old Jane Goodall, too. Hey, I've seen pics of the rest of her family, she still looks good by comparison. (Think "Wallace & Gromit" humans.)

Allison Janney? Krikey, she's only slightly goofy looking, just a little quirky. Brains, sass, hips. No shame here.

When I was younger, Yoko Ono. I'm over it now.

Shame here: Jessica Rabbit

The greatest shame of all: Ann "Hatchet Face" Coulter

She's a bad person. I'm ashamed to admit that I'm attracted for reasons I can't quite grasp, but I am fully conscious that I am ashamed ... maybe... that I would not be gentle with her. Bad, bad person. Hurting America more than Tucker Carlson.

Posted by CP | June 26, 2008 4:39 PM

Would Stanley Tucci count? Want him to put a dog collar on me and be my daddy!

Posted by Scandi | June 26, 2008 5:01 PM

Rush Limbaugh. Need I say anymore?

I totally want to do him every which way but loose and then kick the bastard out of bed for his horrible reactionary politics.

I bet he'd be an awesome bottom. Don'tcha think? ;)

Posted by Liberal Homo With Shameful Secret | June 26, 2008 5:57 PM

Wow, LHwSS, that is... shameful.

And yes, bottom for Rush, and make him impersonate Ned Beatty, please. REEE!

Posted by CP | June 26, 2008 7:32 PM

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