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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

“Boy, your databases must not have told you that I live in Seattle.”

posted by on June 10 at 13:51 PM

From: “NBA All-Access”
Sent: Monday, June 9, 2008 4:50pm
Subject: Josh, Your New All-Access Benefits Are Available

Your June All-Access Member Update
Josh, your All-Access benefits are now available. Read below for more information.

To: NBA All-Access
Date: Monday, June 9, 2008 5:11pm
Subject: RE: Josh, Your New All-Access Benefits Are Available

I’m from Seattle. You’ve lost this market. Don’t email me anymore.


From: All Access
Date: Tuesday, June 10, 2008 1:27pm
Subject: Reply to your message to NBA All-Access

Hi Josh,

Thank you for contacting us. Per your request, we have cancelled your All-Access account. You should stop receiving emails from us within 10 business days.

Should you want to reactivate your account in the future, visit the All-Access member center at You will be asked for the email address and password associated with the previously cancelled account. If you’ve forgotten your old information, you can create a brand-new account.

Thank you,
The All-Access Team

This was inspired by my brilliant friend Tom, who recently wrote this masterpiece (seriously, read it):

For your pleasure, my response to some NBA spam I received this evening. No one else will read it, so I figure you might as well.

Subject: RE: A special message from the NBA

Dear Mr. Stern:

Boy, your databases must not have told you that I live in Seattle. Now that you’ve played your blackmail game and taken your official Spalding basketball away and run (to Oklahoma City?!?), I can’t imagine why on earth I’d want to sign up for your All-Access pass.

In case you need reminding, here’s your current business model: billionaires own teams full of multimillionaires, who play their games in front of the millionaires and corporate representatives who can afford inflated ticket prices and absurd luxury box licenses. And if this model is not subsidized by everyday local taxpayers (renovating a perfectly lovely arena after only 10 years because there aren’t enough luxury boxes?!?) then you take a team that a lot of people have made the mistake of investing emotional energy in, and plop it down in some dustbowl town that doesn’t know any better and is desperate enough for some big-league action that they’ll fork over civic money.

I love the game of basketball—boy do I—but that business model is FLAWED, and I’m proud of my city for standing up to it. Congratulations on abandoning one of the wealthiest and fastest-growing cities in the country, and good luck convincing a big-ticket free agent to agree to play in Oklahoma. Oh, wait, you want them all in Boston and Los Angeles anyway—well done!

All the best

RSS icon Comments


Nice capsulation of the State of Pro Sports business model.

For my liking, there's way too much hand-wringing over the loss of the Sonics. We need to say "good riddance" and "don't let the door hit you on the way out." If Pro Sports thinks we need them more than they need us, good luck with that.

Posted by Timothy | June 10, 2008 1:56 PM

Your brilliant friend Tom somehow comes across as more polite than you.

Posted by leek | June 10, 2008 2:02 PM

props to tom!

Posted by tiffany | June 10, 2008 2:07 PM

this one doesn't hurt less as the days go by.

Posted by max solomon | June 10, 2008 2:09 PM

sports teams don't need subsidies and cities rarely make up the 400-500 million dollar investment in any way shape or form for building a new arena. you'd have to generate 30-40 million a year to break even in tax revenues before theyd want more subsidies to upgrade.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | June 10, 2008 2:13 PM

The Storm are having a great year, by the way. We've won all our home games so far. The games are really exciting with some of the best players in the sport (Sue Bird, Sheryl Swoops, Lauren Jackson) breaking records, kicking asses, and taking names. So if you really love the sport of basketball you can stop pouting and go support a team that was bought by a group of women (not billionaires by any stretch) who wanted to keep basketball a part of our city.

See you tomorrow night.

Posted by Carollani | June 10, 2008 2:16 PM

i agree carollani. the storm is on this year, ive attended two games so far and im seriously considering season tickets. man, i have to do something. the m's are atrocious, the sonics are gone, the rain wont stop.

i've always been a LJ fan, but have considered sue bird overrated, but she is on fire this year and swoops is the truth!

by the way feit, i liked your response better.

Posted by SeMe | June 10, 2008 2:39 PM

GP & the X-Man speaking at the Save Our Sonics rally outside the US District Courthouse on Monday! 4pm!

Posted by stunk | June 10, 2008 2:54 PM

So that makes, what, three people who will be in attendance now?

Posted by Bison | June 10, 2008 3:05 PM

Aren't you supposed to be gone, Feet? Why are you Slogging again? No one hired you; I knew it. So much for you big "I'm outta here" speech....

Posted by Feet B Gone | June 10, 2008 3:16 PM

Feet B Dummy.

Posted by Feet B Clicking on Slog | June 10, 2008 3:27 PM

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