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Wow. That's a lot. The only thing I learned in the last 24 hours is that I'm a moron.

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 3, 2008 1:25 PM

@1 -- Breakthrough!

Just kidding. I don't think you could be a moron if you tried, Mr. Poe.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | May 3, 2008 1:48 PM

No need to worry about the children in the Perl. IIRC the Pearl has among the fewest children per capita of any neighborhood in the United States. Isn't it great how attractive to families the density beloved by the backseat planners at the Stranger is?

Posted by David Wright | May 3, 2008 1:54 PM


did you learn why Blogtown, PDX is SO BORING compared to Slog? Amy Ruiz aside, there's next to no substance on that thing. It's mostly links to webvideos and lolcats with two sentences of explanation (and for some reason way more posts about portland clothing stores (??) than anyone would ever need.)

Posted by jake | May 3, 2008 1:54 PM

I really thought the Oregon Liquor Control Commission sucked and was anti-fun until I moved to Seattle.

Posted by Abe | May 3, 2008 2:25 PM

Portland rocks!

Especially if you enjoy making minimum wage busing tables and making coffee!

It's like one large Capitol Hill too! Everyone's on a bike and in shitty band!

Posted by I'm a Nuclear Bomb | May 3, 2008 2:26 PM

At Joe Bar you can take your Duvel (or other yummy Belgian beers) outside while not being corralled.

Reason #749 to always, ALWAYS kick it at joe bar.

Posted by catnextdoor | May 3, 2008 2:43 PM

Portland is the Paris of the Northwest. More smokers, easier alcohol and few psycho homos.

Posted by JerryVagina | May 3, 2008 2:56 PM


Yes! That's why I left.

Posted by Sir Learnsalot | May 3, 2008 3:01 PM

The Mercury is generally awful. It has all of the snark of the Stranger with none of the substance (i.e., actual reporting). It's one big hipster circle jerk. The Willy Week is by far the superior Portland alt weekly, except for its lack of Savage Love.

Posted by tb | May 3, 2008 3:11 PM

"Hummers" (with the S added to another word) is my personal high score for a single turn on Scrabble for 92 points.

Posted by PJ | May 3, 2008 3:33 PM

you can smoke in the Saigon Pearl down south on MLK.

Posted by Also | May 3, 2008 4:59 PM

You left South Louisiana off the list of places you can take drinks outside the bar. Heck, we have drive-through daiquiri shops here, where they make the drinks with Everclear. It's amazingly easy to get drunk on those and not even realize how much you are drinking.

Posted by Sheryl | May 3, 2008 6:12 PM

Hmmm, Portland. Yeah, I've been there. Rains all the fucking time. Oh, wait . . . it rains all the fucking time in Seattle too. Never mind.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | May 3, 2008 6:50 PM


The Hummer, as you know from being a journalist yourself, is a fine old journalism term meaning a hot story: "That's a Hummer!"

It was, during a very long period of time under the guidance of Bev Kerns, the finest High School Newspaper in Oregon. During my association with the paper, we slagged Hewey Lewis, broke stories later picked up by Willamette Week, and regularly reviewed any punk rock single coming out of Orange County. Incidentally, we turned out a few writers and journalists.

And yes, the school mascot is the Beaver. I was a high school Beaver.

BHS '81

Posted by rtm | May 3, 2008 8:46 PM

Portland is cool

Dan is annoying.

I bet he left Terry and "his" kid at home while he hangs in P-Town.

Posted by ecce homo | May 3, 2008 8:53 PM

"I really thought the Oregon Liquor Control Commission sucked and was anti-fun until I moved to Seattle."

Question: I'm a lifelong Oregonian and I'm moving to Washington in two weeks for a new job. Are the liquor laws there really stricter than they are here under the OLCC? I didn't think that was possible.

Posted by Jo | May 3, 2008 9:29 PM


I tended some bar down in OR, and now work in the clubs up here. It seems that the laws are roughly the same - last call is 30 minutes earlier. But they are enforced with a wild eyed vindictive vigor far beyond OLCC's. Seriously, I felt the same way as you until I witnessed it repeatedly myself. From here, Oregon looks like California did when I lived in Oregon.

Posted by Abe | May 3, 2008 9:38 PM

It seems our government thinks we are children and must always be told how to behave. Unfortunately, in many cases that is true. But having nudity and alcohol in bars seems like the least we could expect.
Drink up you whores.

Posted by Vince | May 4, 2008 6:34 AM

How old is Dan Savage?

I think he's starting to write like, he is, you know, middle-aged.

It must be tough getting older -- and more mature -- while being in charge of a "youth-oriented" publication.

I propose that he have some high schoolers ghost-write some of his posts so that he sounds more "with it."

He can clean up the grammar and spelling(leave the ----s in, for street cred), like when they write that "Hilary is a looser."

What do you think, gang?

Posted by Mr. Astonished | May 4, 2008 4:20 PM

In St. Louis, they give you plastic cups to walk around with your booze.

Posted by Mike in MO | May 5, 2008 5:34 AM

@20 Oh pish. Dan may be O-L-D for a queer guy, but he keeps up with them yunguns just fine because he uses FUCK constantly even when there's no point in doing so. And as every SLOG reader knows, you simply can't be hip without using FUCK at least once in every paragraph if you want to be considered a real live hipster........

Posted by Hartiepie | May 5, 2008 6:25 AM


Posted by Dan Savage | May 5, 2008 9:40 AM

I'll admit, it doesn't work well in the podcast. I'd rather listen to loveline than listen to Savage Love's podcast. But reading Savage is okay.

"You fucking need to fucking leave your fucking boyfriend." That's an actual quote.

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 5, 2008 11:24 AM

I used to live in an apartment across the street from Beaverton High School. One time I got a softball through my window.

Posted by butterw | May 5, 2008 11:30 AM

@4: that's because all the really good stuff is happening at uhx/urbanhonking

Posted by j bomb | May 5, 2008 12:25 PM

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