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Thursday, May 1, 2008

SIFF Is Trying To Kill Me

posted by on May 1 at 15:25 PM

I’ve been wearing my skinny pants lately. I’m sure you’ve noticed. (Sorry…um…try putting some ice on that.) My secret? Recession? Mania? Booger-sugar? Yes. And SIFF, goddammit. SIFF! Opening Night is coming quicker than a coked-up choir boy, so I’ve been living on rice and foul intentions. The press kick-off happened just this morning, which I missed completely of course, because they insisted on moving the event someplace completely asinine called “SIFF Cinema”, which is waaaaaay the hell down in Seattle Center, and not conveniently just across the street from me at Harvard Exit Theater, which is where the damn thing usually happened, and where God damn well intended it to be. And I try never to burn fossil fuels just for free Mimosa if I can help it. But these are the terrible rumors:

Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend have something or other to do with the Opening Night Movie, which is about a traumatic event I personally suffered called the WTO Riots, and they will be attending said opening night to dazzle us with their Theron/Townsendness. I’m planning an in-depth interview with Stuart’s abs, and also to Wikipedia Charlize Theron presently to educate myself, and thusly the world, as to exactly what the gosh darn heck a Charlize Theron is. (Some kind of water bird? A mystery.)

So. Stay tuned for further developments. Or don’t. Whatever. I’m getting dizzy.


(Stuart’s abs are on the left. That’s Condoleeza Rice there on the right.)

RSS icon Comments


We miss you, Aaliyah.

Posted by Chris | May 1, 2008 3:45 PM

I completely recognize the fantastic guilty pleasures of Anne Rice novels, but after I saw that movie, I was ashamed to have ever read them. It was SO BAD, and Stuart Townsend is NO LESTAT. But then, neither is Tom Cruise.

Posted by Jessica | May 1, 2008 3:47 PM

The press launch was at SIFF Cinema last year as well. Keep up, Adrian!

Posted by The Artist Formerly Known As Sigourney Beaver | May 1, 2008 3:55 PM

Ohmigod, it's Mr F!!!!!!

Posted by michael strangeways | May 1, 2008 3:56 PM

I'm looking forward to this for Martin Henderson. Oh yes.

Posted by Emily | May 1, 2008 4:30 PM

Good thing we have a great week of press screenings going on right now for SIFF - if you have a Full Series Pass you can catch them too ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 1, 2008 4:45 PM

skipped on getting a full pass this year. too pricey. SIFF cinema and uptown out of the way. etc.

wish i had $50-$200 to see the opening movie, which takes place during an event I participated in for free, but I know that isn't how the world works.

Posted by stinkbug | May 1, 2008 5:29 PM

@7 - maybe if you show up wearing a Sea Turtle costume ... and say you're a staff member ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 1, 2008 5:58 PM

Funny, that movie was so bad that it must have completely blocked out any memory of those abs. Niiiice.

Posted by wench | May 1, 2008 8:12 PM

Don't be dissin' Aaliyah!

I'm giving you some awesome side eye action right now.

Posted by Nony Mouse | May 2, 2008 11:22 AM

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