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Monday, May 5, 2008

In Search of…

posted by on May 5 at 16:29 PM

A “Promotional Talent and Marketing Agency specializing in ‘midgets’ and ‘dwarf’ talent” won’t tell me which Seattle bars will have six sombrero-wearing, tequila-dispensing such persons on premises tonight. It’s Cinco de Mayo—everyone knows that en espanol, that means “little people” (which I believe is the preferred nomenclature, though I’m not an expert as, say, someone at a talent agency specializing in such might be). Little people in traditional Mexican headdress. Si.

This Promotional Liquor Branding Event involves teams of little people “bar-hopping” in multiple cities tonight “for a 4 (four) hour ‘shift’ meeting & greeting, mix and mingling, handing out liquor premiums & souvenirs, taking photos with customers and patrons,” according to an April 18 job posting on Craigslist titled “Midget” “Dwarf” Talent Needed:

You are “TALENT” to us and we will pay you as such….

The dwarfs will work as the client’s “character” as a dwarf in a sombrero and poncho provided by our client promoting Mexican liquor while bar hopping with a group of team captains from the client’s liquor company….

Our client will provide ALL costumes.

I emailed the company and inquired: Have you found your 6 Seattle Brand Ambassadors? What bars will be involved? What time will the Event begin? Might I tag along and write about it? Steven, an unspecified employee of the “Promotional Talent and Marketing Agency” (apparently called “shortfaces,” according to Steven’s email), replied: “In the interest of my client, I am going to need to pass on this opportunity.”

I don’t understand why Steven/shortfaces would pass. Surely the Bud girls never say ‘no.’


(Photo via “Chillywillyrace fan” on Creative Commons.)

Tiki Bob’s in Pioneer Square seems like the most likely venue for encountering such a Promotional Liquor Branding Event and its personnel. Or maybe Cowgirls Inc. Definitely Pioneer Square.


RSS icon Comments


more importantly, will Duffman be there?

Posted by michael strangeways | May 5, 2008 4:38 PM

will the dwarfs do a renactment (sp?) of the battle of puebla?

Posted by SeMe | May 5, 2008 4:53 PM

That would fucking be awesome.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | May 5, 2008 5:01 PM

If being small counts as "talent", what about having a hairy ass?

Posted by w7ngman | May 5, 2008 5:08 PM

I think they'll be using obsidian knives to sacrifice people at their temple.

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 5, 2008 5:22 PM

Tiki Bob's, Cowgirls Inc. and Vessel (obvs).

Posted by kid icarus | May 5, 2008 5:30 PM

If they're not wrestling, I'm not going.

Posted by Explorer | May 5, 2008 5:39 PM

You can never have too much jello, @7.

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 5, 2008 7:22 PM

Dude, that is not the preferred nomenclature.

Posted by Greg | May 6, 2008 9:30 AM

@9: Thank you—just trying to sort this through. I went to Tiki Bob's (a.k.a. "Tiki's," usu. screamed/bellowed) and there were no sombrero'd dwarfs, only Corona girls giving out schwag, a blind Native American guy whom the DJ kept referring to as "Crazy Horse," and, finally, Jell-O wrestling.

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement | May 6, 2008 9:47 AM

hey bethany, the next time does a promotional liquor branding event with dwarf & midget talent, you can rest assured WE will let you know or you can call us @ 1-866-U-midget and find out directly! maybe the gig never happened? but you and others can book our elves, oompa loompas and leprechauns the next time you want your event to rock!

Posted by 1866Umidget | May 7, 2008 6:38 AM

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