Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« What the Hell Should We Do Wit... | City Gives Initial Nod to Mass... »

Friday, May 9, 2008

Boobies Offensive to the Insane

posted by on May 9 at 12:27 PM

Ad Age reports that “The Resistance”—a self-identified “Christian group” whose web site is sort of a delightfully nutty road map to pretty much every conspiracy theory ever conceived (VeriChip, we’re told, is “the Pandora’s Box of the mark of the Beast”)—is launching a boycott of Starbucks because its new logo features “a naked woman on it with her legs spread like a prostitute.”


Not to get all fact-y on the Resistance or anything, but actually, that logo’s of a mermaid with a split tail, not legs—which, as Annie Wagner points out, is an image from Hans Christian Anderson’s original Little Mermaid tale, in which the Little Mermaid drinks a potion and goes through indescribable pain (and loses her voice) in exchange for legs so she can pursue her Prince. In the end, the prince marries another woman (maybe he wasn’t into mutes?), and the Little Mermaid flings herself into the ocean. So the moral of the Starbucks logo, if anything, is: Stay chaste, keep those knees together, and wait for your prince to come.

But, yeah. Boobies=Eek!

RSS icon Comments


Split-tail is also Air Force slang for "female". Har, get it? Maybe these knobs are ex-military.

I always thought it was Cool Ranch Doritos chips that were the mark of the beast, personally.

Posted by Fnarf | May 9, 2008 12:43 PM

I thought that was their original logo, returned after the initial bout of corporatism banished it.

Posted by Rebecca | May 9, 2008 12:46 PM

I like great tits better. But as birds go, boobies are OK too.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | May 9, 2008 12:49 PM

When my Southern Grandmother was in town she got her very first latte with this logo emblazoned on it. Later on she asked if we could return for another "hot cup of smut" because they are tastier then the other cups of smut they serve in Dallas.

Posted by jewritto | May 9, 2008 12:58 PM

Oh for fuck's sake.

If some self-styled feminists had been the first to complain about this logo, ECB would be ready to march for the righteous cause. I mean, look how thin she is!

Nude women are forbidden (except when they're not), in the erratic world of the fake feminist.

Posted by elenchos | May 9, 2008 1:00 PM

Don't you people know the meaning of NSFW?!

Such a graphic depiction of voluptuous naughty bits makes me tingly in my bathing suit area!

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | May 9, 2008 1:04 PM

Rebecca @2 is correct.

Posted by Slip Mahoney | May 9, 2008 1:13 PM

Just cut a hole in the bottom of your cup, and you're good to go, U. B.

Posted by Fnarf | May 9, 2008 1:13 PM

In my former life as a corporate whore I once did some business with a bigwig at Starbucks HQ. He bristled when I referred to their mascot as a mermaid. He decided to politely correct me. Said the bigwig: She is a Siren, not a mermaid, and Sirens have two tails.

So no more mermaid crazy-talk! She's a two-tailed Siren!

Posted by city kitty | May 9, 2008 1:18 PM

Actually, I have a new Pike Place Roast restored-old-logo cup right here, and it's not exactly the same. The one in the post is the original logo; the one I've got here has some carefully sketched in hair tendrils over said boobies, with no visible nipples. (And it says "fresh roasted coffee" instead of "coffee and tea.")

Posted by leek | May 9, 2008 1:19 PM
Posted by hey! | May 9, 2008 1:25 PM

@leek - I just came from a Starbucks and my friend who drinks the stuff got the same cup you did. Tendrils, and no visible boobies.

SIREN boobies.

Posted by city kitty | May 9, 2008 1:25 PM

Actually, I think the crazy people are right.

Posted by Drew | May 9, 2008 1:27 PM

I'm offended and appalled by those knockers...when is Starbucks going to stop being homosexist and feature a logo with Queequeg's massive pecs and protruding brown berries?

Posted by michael strangeways | May 9, 2008 1:28 PM

Oh come on city kitty! Stop trying to duck the responsibility. SURE your friend is the Starbucks drinker.

*I* think Starbucks is being speciesist. Where's Moby Dick's, well, you know.

Posted by leek | May 9, 2008 1:32 PM

If that mermaid turns anybody on they might have some issues to deal with.
I was expecting to see some voluptuous boobs and legs but fish scale legs and boobs that look like they come out of her armpits are not exactly exciting!

@1 Cool Ranch Doritos are my favorite junk food! You are on a roll : )

Posted by mj | May 9, 2008 1:38 PM
Posted by Duh | May 9, 2008 1:54 PM


Oh yeah sure, really hot. Hot that is, if you're turned on by women who are wrong about everything all the time. I'm sure that's exactly what a guy who wants who likes to be forever frustrated and exasperated by a woman who is impossible and stubborn and constantly finding fault with you. If you're into being belittled and you get a thrill from being tied up and forced to answer questions that will displease her not matter how you answer. Yeah, I mean if you think having someone who will spit your name in your face and like, insult you just for looking at her. Sure, if you're into that...

Ok, maybe I should stop now.

Posted by elenchos | May 9, 2008 1:57 PM

I prefer to think she has her legs spread like a gloriously limber, scaly Romanian mermaid gymnast. What vulgar minds Christians have.

Posted by bronkitis | May 9, 2008 2:19 PM

The new logo is better stylized. But the old logo has tits. What we need is a stylized logo with tits.

Posted by Sirkowski | May 9, 2008 2:25 PM

Anyone here remember the old Kidd Valley logo? With the suspiciously sultry "girl" sitting on top of a giant hamburger? True actual quote, overheard by moi while riding the Metro past the KV on lower Queen Anne circa 1990 or so:

"She looks like a prostitute. I don't wanna eat a hamburger that a prostitute's been sitting on!"

True actual Old Seattle story.

Posted by Jeff Stevens | May 9, 2008 2:26 PM
Posted by yuioip | May 9, 2008 2:27 PM

Any religious group that calls for a boycott on Starbuck's doesn't understand Starbuck's business, or typical customer, at all.

Posted by Dougsf | May 9, 2008 3:00 PM

"Mechanical hybrid Terminators are being manufactured by the Department of Defense. These hybrid 'living' computers will soon be more intelligent than humans. These systems include armed flying drones. "

Uhm, I think these people have watched Terminator a few too many times. Many they're just bitter about not getting to see Linda Hamilton's boobies no matter how many times they watched the movie.

Posted by paulette | May 9, 2008 3:16 PM

Rumor has it: one of those breasts dispenses soy milk.

Posted by Ziggity | May 9, 2008 3:28 PM

Jesus doesn't want me for a soy latte.

Posted by Jeff Stevens | May 9, 2008 4:32 PM

What you're seeing is the ORIGINAL pre-Schultz logo. After he bought Starbucks from its creators, the hair came down covering up the nipples, then the logo was completely redesigned into its current sexless troll-doll style.

Posted by MarkyMark | May 9, 2008 5:14 PM

@21: didn't B. J. Clement once try out and win Ms. KV or something? She even wrote a piece about it in The Stranger.

Read it @ the Wall-ford KV.

Posted by feom | May 9, 2008 8:34 PM

Waaaaay more on this subject than you ever bargained for.

Why do I know this link? Because I listen to Great Big Sea, and they have a song about this.

Posted by Big Sven | May 9, 2008 8:53 PM

Bring on the boobies, I say! The more, the better.

Posted by Greg | May 10, 2008 7:21 AM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).