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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

A Letter to the Honorable Judge Marsha Pechman Regarding the Motion to Silence Sherman Alexie

posted by on May 28 at 14:55 PM

I was informed this morning of the outlandish attempt to prevent author and Stranger columnist Sherman Alexie from testifying in the case of City of Seattle vs. The Professional Basketball Club, LLC.

As chief legal counsel for this publication, I have been asked to intervene on behalf of The Stranger and have just mailed the following letter to U.S. District Court Judge Marsha Pechman decrying what we see as a potential travesty of justice.

My paralegal informs me that readers of this blog can click on the following image to download a “PDF” of the letter:


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"pig-fuckingly clear"


Posted by NaFun | May 28, 2008 2:51 PM

"I can't fucking believe-"

That's all it took. I love this.

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 28, 2008 2:55 PM

I should have been a fucking lawyer. It's all so pig fuckingly clear now.


Posted by drew | May 28, 2008 2:58 PM

How cute, the stranger has its own letterhead like a company would!!!

Posted by Non | May 28, 2008 3:06 PM

I assume this is being submitted as a "friend of the court" brief?

Posted by COMTE | May 28, 2008 3:13 PM

Reminded me of another example (though with less profanity) of pwnage by lawyers:

Posted by David | May 28, 2008 3:23 PM

Students in future generations will be studying this right between "Letter From a Birmingham Jail" and "A Modest Proposal".

Posted by fucking believe it | May 28, 2008 3:27 PM

My personal favorite is "fuck that shitbird". I will use this while watching the Stanley Cup finals tonight.

Posted by Hernandez | May 28, 2008 3:33 PM

I'm not sure how persuasive it is on the legal point of admitting Sherman Alexie's testimony, but it's excellent nevertheless.

Posted by lostboy | May 28, 2008 3:45 PM

Sonics death watch, and season ticket holder... As an attorney at law, what relevance does he bring to the case regarding the lease... other than he has personal interest that the team play the remaining two seasons on its contract?

Ive read Sonics death watch, I wouldn't consider it a weekly entry. Has there been more than 3 entries prior to January 2008?

Seattle even naming him as a witness is laughable at best, much like this letter, it will have no bearing on the issues this case seeks to resolve.

Posted by j | May 28, 2008 3:48 PM

I plan to incorporate the phrase "pig fuckingly clear" into my vocabulary as soon as possible.

Posted by Jo | May 28, 2008 3:48 PM

Clear, cogent, and above reproach. Maybe lawyers aren't all such dead donkey dick sucking motherfuckers after all.

Posted by DaiBando | May 28, 2008 3:50 PM

fucking word.

Posted by ziegler | May 28, 2008 3:56 PM

This letter embodies all things SLOG!
Powerful. Just. Stupid.

Posted by MQ | May 28, 2008 3:57 PM

Take your team and shove your briefs.

Posted by Vince | May 28, 2008 3:58 PM

in other news, The Oklahoman has announced that their new column, "Sherman Alexie Deathwatch" will begin running in the Wednesday edition of the paper.

Posted by michael strangeways | May 28, 2008 4:02 PM

I particularly enjoyed the "Metro Bus Stop #642" address. lol

Posted by Hey Wait | May 28, 2008 4:59 PM

@6 Thanks for the link. I had not seen that. I am also stealing 'fuck that shitbird'. If Lucius wants to sue for IP infringement, maybe I can get Denke on my side.

Posted by drewl | May 28, 2008 8:04 PM

Taylor, though acting like a jackass, is acting on behalf of Clayton "rhymes with Satan" Bennett. The devil made him do it.

Save Our Sonics . . . From Satan.

Posted by Mr Baker | May 28, 2008 9:09 PM

Finally, a lawyer who knows the value of communicating in English! And thanks for the address in case I'm ever in need of a lawyer.

Posted by idaho | May 28, 2008 10:25 PM

I can't fucking believe they listed Yesler Way and First Avenue as being in 98116... (hey, that's my address! and it's nowhere near Metro Bus Stop #642)

Posted by westsider | May 29, 2008 2:29 AM

oops! scratch that - i meant "that's my ZIP code!"

(who sounds like a fucktard now...?)

Posted by westsider | May 29, 2008 2:32 AM

...that, after cacklingly ridiculously loudly in an otherwise quiet and subdued British Airways club lounge, I thought to myself "it's not like I need a lawyer, but hey, if I ever do, this is the guy!"

Imagine my chagrin to discover that Mr. Lucius Danforth is not licensed to practice in Washington State by the WSBA.


I was so ready to sue somebody. For something. Dunno what.
I just want more of these letters.

Brilliant prank, though.

Posted by I liked this so much... | May 29, 2008 5:16 AM

Heh heh heh --- he said FUCK --- heh heh heh cooooooool. Now we know he's real. Heh heh heh FUCK. Yeah maaaaan. Nobody says FUCK unless they are you know like reaal maaan.

Posted by Hartiepie | May 29, 2008 6:05 AM

Neither The Onion nor McSweeney's has much to fear from the humor talent on The Slog.

High school.

Posted by Bob | May 29, 2008 7:03 AM


Great phrase...been added to my lexicon!

Posted by qwerty | May 29, 2008 2:31 PM

I am in Oklahoma City as I post here. This town is a dump! Keep the Seattle SuperSonics in Seattle. I now know what "world class" means-endless chain restaurants, fast food hell, piles of cheese and bacon bits on "green salad".

Posted by greasesicle | May 29, 2008 3:23 PM

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