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Sunday, April 20, 2008

The Morning News

posted by on April 20 at 9:00 AM

posted by news intern Chris Kissel

Misinformation machine: Inside the Pentagon’s influence on “analysts.”

Pope at Ground Zero: Benedict XVI prays at WTC site, defends immigrant families.

Bickerfest 2008: Democratic presidential candidates argue about nothing.

In other elections: Opposition in Zimbabwe claims mass arrests by Zimbabwean government.

In Iraq: Iraqi troops take back Basra, Moqtada al-Sadr threatens renewed violence.

In Hollywood: Chinese-Americans protest CNN commentator.

The weekend from hell: Gang violence erupts in Chicago, claiming six lives.

Rail life: Development around Rainier Valley light-rail station threatens to change neighborhood.

Hood forum: Neighbors disapprove of Nickels’ idea to consolidate neighborhood planning.

Run for your life: U.S. financial woes trickle into Washington State.

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Despite all of the chest-beating protestations, a simple fact remains: the Red Fascist government of mainland China is filled with 'goons and thugs.' Bullies and gangsters our own Wallstreet goons and thugs grow evermore indebted to with each passing month.

Posted by Laurence Ballard | April 20, 2008 10:11 AM

Lancaster, Pa--Yesterday Seator Barack Obama launched a camapign ad blitz arguing that universal health care is immoral and wrong.

"It makes people join the system and have to pay something," spokeperson David Pluff said. "That takes away freedom of choice, a core Republican free market, I mean a core Obama principle."

When asked if this meant Obama believed that the health care systems of Japan France Switzerland Canada Sweden Denmanrk UK Spain and about 20 other nations were also immoral, wrong, and don't work, or whether the universal/mandate plans urged by Sen. John Edwards, Hillary Clinton, FD Roosevelt and a host of other Democratic leaders over the years were wrong, immoral and just wouldn't work, Pluff said "Yup, that's right. We're right -- everyyong else is wrong. You see, they get battered by the right wing then they cling to their beliefs that only universal programs mandated by the government work. They cling to those beliefs because they're bitter."

"Also, we've test marketed this with Axelrod and we found that a voluntary system, pretty much like we have now, can be painted as change and sold as change but then you don't have to atually change the system."

"Can we please stop with the drivel, and get back to real issues?" he added.

Pluff declined to speculate what other "freedom of choice" values Obama would try to insert into mandatory programs like auto insurance, unemployment insurance or social security. He did point out that making the US Army an all volunteer force gave the President greater "flexibility" in its use as compared to when it was mandatory.

"We don't see extending this voluntariness rinciple to other programs as necessay to win," he also explained. "But we do need to get people to believe in change, and one of the best ways to do that is by pretending change is easy, and all that's been missing is just one person with the right personality. Explaining that there are hard choices, and fundamental differences of opinion in this nation makes change appear too hard to do," he added.

He pointed out that Obama has always won elections by promising change, but actually has no real record of changing anything very much. Asked why Chicago doesn't have health insurance for all citizens like San Francisco does, he explained that Sen. Obama felt he could implement more change by getting out of Chicago asap and seeking higher office than by staying in his old office and getting things done. "Who ever heard of who brought health insurance to all citizens of San Francisco?" he asked. "Nobody, that's who. You're not going to see that schmoe, whoever it is, changing the very nature of politics in America," he explained.

Citing the fierce urgency of now, he left.

Posted by unPCNewsNot About Drivel | April 20, 2008 10:24 AM

Hmmmmmmmm, every time, and no matter how I parse it, I try to post a couple excerpts from Dan Savage's pro-war piece from October 2002, or link to it, the spam filter blocks it. The Slog spam filter seems to be rejecting the title and quotes from the article and link as spam. How amusing that Dan Savage is afraid to have his own words posted to Slog. Words that are probably the most important that he ever wrote. Or at least words that he used flippantly to address the most important issue he ever wrote about. Words that supported a Bush policy of war crimes and imperialism. Here's a tiny url to Dan's article:

Posted by Dan the brave and savage warrior | April 20, 2008 10:41 AM

Hmmm, I wonder how many young little boys His Holiness has buggered.

Posted by Elvis | April 20, 2008 11:53 AM

While I confess to not being surprised about the military analysts being puppets of the administration, what amazes me is the sheer number. I mean it was across the board at every major news organization. And nobody at CNN, NBC, or CBS bothered to check the analyst's resumes to see that they were working for firms providing goods and services to the military for the Iraq war? Or if they did, they didn't see a conflict of interest in the reporting?

Posted by PopTart | April 20, 2008 12:02 PM

Also, millions of people celebrate 4/20 by smoking weed.

Posted by Mike in MO | April 20, 2008 12:16 PM


Your candidate's plan will not provide universal health care. Not that you care about the facts or anything.

Posted by keshmeshi | April 20, 2008 12:21 PM

And Columbine. Ninth anniversary. Big deal here.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 20, 2008 12:24 PM

Why do you wonder Elvis. Feel like you are missing something? Or are you just new to the Slog and think you are being witty? Well you aren't being witty Elvis. You are being stupid! You are 14 years old and acting 11.

Posted by COMPTE | April 20, 2008 1:07 PM

Well, obviously not as new to Slog as you are, shit-for-brains. Struck a nerve there maybe? Good.

Posted by Elvis | April 20, 2008 1:39 PM

Sorry, needed to take a piss. On your fucking queer Papist idolatry. 'Scuse me, I feel a dump coming on.

Posted by Elvis | April 20, 2008 1:45 PM

Ah, the charms of weekend Slogging.

Posted by Fnarf | April 20, 2008 4:41 PM
Hmmmmmmmm, every time, and no matter how I parse it, I try to post a couple excerpts from Dan Savage's pro-war piece from October 2002, or link to it, the spam filter blocks it.

About time, guys! Well done on finally getting this spam cleared up. =)

Posted by wench | April 20, 2008 7:14 PM

Bah, should have checked the html.

Posted by wench | April 20, 2008 7:15 PM

COME thinks priests fucking little boys is OK some how - after all, it is the Mother Whore Church of Churches, and that gives it some cache.

Carry on Elvis, to fame and fortune. Millions have already asked and answered the question who have some courage and are not awed by the gold, glitter and awesome PR shit.

I hear they have a special bed in the papal apartments in the big V. I bet there is sacred video.

Posted by Larkin | April 20, 2008 9:21 PM

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