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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Night of the Living Swag

posted by on April 17 at 11:52 AM

Two weeks ago, in honor of its new “eco-awareness” campaign, a certain mega-department store mailed me—and presumably 100,000 other people—a tote bag for us to throw away.


(I’m sending mine to Joel Connelly, compliments of ECB.)

And yesterday, in honor of its new “eco-awareness” campaing, this certain mega-department store mailed me—and presumably 100,000 other people—a tiny tree.


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The word is "swag", not "schwag".

Posted by Fnarf | April 17, 2008 11:57 AM

Mailing a tree wrapped in plastic placed in a tube placed in another tube is an ecological hate crime.

Macy's FTW!

Posted by David Schmader | April 17, 2008 12:00 PM

Schwing! A Fnarf Zing!

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 17, 2008 12:01 PM

Oh dear. That's an embarrassing error.

Posted by Brendan Kiley | April 17, 2008 12:03 PM

How about you put your fucking money where your mouth is and just use the fucking bag?

Posted by I'm a Nuclear Bomb | April 17, 2008 12:04 PM

Brendan, you're not really sending the bag to JC, are you? I need it for SIFF screeners.

Posted by annie | April 17, 2008 12:16 PM

@5 Seconded. It's the perfect size for putting your groceries in.

Posted by Gitai | April 17, 2008 12:46 PM

Hm, I wonder how many trees died to create the mailing tubes used to send out all those little saplings?

Yep, that's pretty green of you, Macy's.

And I've got a really good use for that bag, Brendan. However, it will require holding I'm A Nuclear Bomb down on the floor long enough to duct-tape it over his head...

Posted by COMTE | April 17, 2008 1:14 PM

It's either that, or your body's wait in jumk advertisements and catalogues every year.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 17, 2008 1:22 PM

Weight. My bad.

It's that, and your body's weight in junk advertisements and catalogues every year.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 17, 2008 1:24 PM

NapoleonXVI, that's how I keep my junk mail down -- I gain weight, so the proportion is less.

I'm guessing that 90% of those trees never get planted, and 90% of the ones that do are dead by the end of summer. Nothing gimmicky about that.

I wanna see someone send out Eco Awareness Paks with a little vial of PCBs.

Posted by Fnarf | April 17, 2008 1:30 PM

Last week I received a similar bag (from a different company, not Macys). It boldly proclaimed it was made from organic cotton (!!). When I looked carefully at the tag, the label said it was made in India! Does anyone know what the carbon footprint of shipping these so-called eco-friendly tote/grocery bags from INDIA is?

Still, now that I have it, I'll use it. These free swag bags kinda counter the Seattle Time's complaint that the poor people will be harmed by the $0.20 bag tax. I've picked up 3 of them that were being given away in the last 6 months.

Posted by Reverse Polarity | April 17, 2008 1:40 PM

The "Real Simple magazine" set must be creaming theyselves over all this virtuous loot!

Posted by SAra | April 17, 2008 2:10 PM

Chuck Taylors suck, aren't in style, and make anyone who wears them look like a retard from 1954.

Posted by ecce homo | April 17, 2008 2:12 PM

@14: Funny you should point those out. They were also swag, from the Jackass movie, I believe.

Posted by annie | April 17, 2008 3:30 PM

Gee, as long as we are getting all uppity about Macy's I wonder how much money that company just spent SUBSIDIZING your terribly lame fashion issue?

Fashion issue being a creative use, that wasn't so much about Seattle Fashion as it was selling one giant fucking glossy ad for Macy's.

Posted by I'm a Nuclear Bomb | April 17, 2008 3:41 PM

Those are enormous hands, Brendan; you must enormous penls!!!

Posted by Christopher Frizzelle's Enormous Penls | April 17, 2008 9:28 PM

Send me the tree, I will plant it. Seriously. Reply to me in the comments and we'll figure out how to make contact.

Posted by dr_awesome | April 18, 2008 8:09 AM

Don't worry, Dr. Awesome, I'll plant it.

@ 16: Don't be insane. I am not prohibited from criticizing a business just because they bought ads in the paper.

Posted by Brendan Kiley | April 18, 2008 9:31 AM

Criticize all you want Brendan. The point is your "Fashion Issue" was 34 pages. 23 of which were full page ads (mostly for Macy's) and nine pages (including half-page ads) of "editorial content."

Is that not a waste of paper? How much gas was used to deliver them?

Before you get all uppity, you might consider that.

Posted by Jeff | April 18, 2008 9:37 AM

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