Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« In the Last 24 Hours on Line O... | Obama Combo »

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Makes Me Wanna Holler

posted by on April 9 at 13:55 PM

The people who pay me to work at The Stranger must now be informed of a problem. An accident that happened a few minutes ago left a small cut on my arm. But that is not the problem. The problem is in the first-aid box. I opened it, looked inside, and failed to find a band-aid that would protect and hide the wound on my black arm. All of the band-aids in the kit are colored to cover wounds on white flesh.
-3.jpg See! It’s so horrible. My black skin healed by a strip of white skin. What kind of message is this? It is a bad one. Please, for me, buy band-aids that match black skin and put them in the fucking kit.

RSS icon Comments


Solution: Replace the white band-aids with band-aids that look like bacon.

Posted by Little Red Ryan Hood | April 9, 2008 2:03 PM

Those band-aids don't match white skin either. Buy yourself a brown Crayola marker and color it yourself, or better yet, you can airbrush it with an exact skin-tone match. Otherwise you're going to have to buy high-yellow band-aids, North African band-aids, Central American band-aids, Southeast Asian band-aids, Mongolian band-aids, etc.

Posted by Banna | April 9, 2008 2:04 PM

What about really tan white people? They just wanna love the sun.

Posted by Gloria | April 9, 2008 2:05 PM

I like LRRH's idea, too...Dora the Explora band-aids for all!

Posted by Banna | April 9, 2008 2:06 PM

if you all would shut up and start fucking each other faster, we'd all be gray before you know it. but those white band-aids still won't match i guess.

Posted by jameyb | April 9, 2008 2:10 PM


Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | April 9, 2008 2:10 PM

Those are pretty boring Band-Aids for Seattle's edgiest alt-weekly. I bet Savage's kid doesn't use those at home.

Posted by DOUG. | April 9, 2008 2:11 PM

Ha! Charles, you gave me my best laugh of the day. Thanks for the post! Hiiii-larious! Please more humor posts from you. :-)

Posted by Jerry | April 9, 2008 2:13 PM

If your goal is to find a bandaid that matches every possible skin tone, it won't happen. I use "Finding Nemo", "Superman" or Crayola, mostly depending on the accident and my mood.

Posted by DJSauvage | April 9, 2008 2:13 PM

I was going to ask what color Band-Aids are in Zimbabwe, but then I realized that a box would cost about $500,000,000, so I bet no-one even knows the answer to that question.

Posted by Bwana | April 9, 2008 2:14 PM

I pretty much buy glow-in-the-dark band-aids exclusively. scooby doo, harry potter, whatevs... as long as it glows.

Posted by pain | April 9, 2008 2:14 PM

Superglue. Works the best at sealing wounds. And by the time it's worn off then it's healed.

Posted by Nay | April 9, 2008 2:15 PM

It would appear the message is that black people cant afford band aids?

It doesn't sound like you have every actually looked for mud race colored band aids, cause they don't exist. The movement is toward clear, neon or bacon.

Posted by meanie | April 9, 2008 2:16 PM

Although I actually prefer my self-created duct tape bandaids the most. It's cheap! It's sticky! It's waterproof! It matches no one! You can graffiti on it and be all hipster.

Posted by Nay | April 9, 2008 2:17 PM

You're lucky you found any band aids at all, Charles.
Last time I looked we didn't have any.

And why only ibuprofen and not any aspirin?

Posted by Josh Feit | April 9, 2008 2:18 PM

just buy some of those clear band aids and quit your damn whining!

Posted by rexmundane | April 9, 2008 2:18 PM

It's discrimination.

You should go buy a box of natural color bandaids and replace the ones at the office with them.

I prefer the Hello Kitty ones, myself.

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 9, 2008 2:21 PM

Apex hides the hurt.

(I bet only Paul Constant gets that).

Posted by Phred Meijer | April 9, 2008 2:21 PM

I vote Strawberry Shortcake bandaids!

Posted by SDizzle | April 9, 2008 2:22 PM

Like #2 said, they stand out almost as much on most white skin. But I've heard this before, and you're right, it sticks out pretty bad. If it really bugs you, there's a whole niche of alternatives:

But really, in most cases wearing a plastic bandage is an act unto itself - either you're covering a quite serious battle scar, and therefore have nothing to be ashamed of, OR, you're a big baby that's afraid of germs or WORSE, scars, in which case your lack of stoutheartedness should be announced in such a way.

Posted by Dougsf | April 9, 2008 2:22 PM

who let's Mudede post so much? For the record, you are wearing a clear bandaid...the strips outside the gauze do match your skin....gauze is made white because it saves you money because they don't have to dye it. And white doesn't match peach colored flesh either...unless you are Dita Von Teese. so kwitcherbitchin and buy some spongebob glow in the dark band-aids with jelly fish on them

Posted by hunter | April 9, 2008 2:22 PM

cf. Oliver Wendell Jones, ca. 1985

Posted by Smade | April 9, 2008 2:22 PM

Uh correction hunter @ 21... gauze, like paper, in it's natural form would be somewhere between gray and tan, depending on the type of fiber used to create it. In order to make it white, it has to be bleached.

Posted by SDizzle | April 9, 2008 2:24 PM

You can get black band-aids at Archie McPhee's. They are decorated with a skull-and-crossbones motif, but my kids love 'em. Adults may want to try these. "Conceal as you heal." It really doesn't get any better than that.

Posted by kk | April 9, 2008 2:25 PM

New skin. It's clear.

Posted by yucca flower | April 9, 2008 2:25 PM


Stranger office manager, you know what to do.

Posted by poppy | April 9, 2008 2:28 PM

Just go to the damn drug store and look for the "Ethnic" band-aids. They're very prominently displayed in the aisle marked FOR COLOREDS. You'll need a time machine, though. I'd ObjectiFax it over to you, but you are probably still physically in 2008, where ObjectiFax has yet to be invented.


Posted by diggum | April 9, 2008 2:31 PM

Extra Caucasian!

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 9, 2008 2:32 PM

What @20 said. For the record, I don't think I even own a box of Band-Aids, and I'm around knives a lot and cut myself quite regularly.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 9, 2008 2:32 PM

@ 18 totally beat me to it.

Posted by Paul Constant | April 9, 2008 2:33 PM

Phred Meijer, #18 -

What, you think Constant is the only one who reads around here?

Probably pretty correct.

Posted by Ed | April 9, 2008 2:34 PM

I seem to recall that Outland or some other comic strip had a series of pretty funny digs on "flesh" colored band-aids and crayons etc.

Posted by Trevor | April 9, 2008 2:44 PM

Colson Whitehead wrote a whole book about that. "Apex Hides the Hurt."

Posted by Drew | April 9, 2008 2:44 PM

@18 I got it. High five to me.

Charles, I know exactly how you feel. I have freckles and no bandaids EVER have freckles, I feel alienated and persecuted because of it.

Posted by Katelyn | April 9, 2008 2:45 PM

Oliver Wendell Holmes is rolling over in his grave.


Posted by Jason Josephes | April 9, 2008 2:53 PM

Obama should promise to send all us non-whiteys appropriate colored bandaids!!!

Posted by arduous | April 9, 2008 2:57 PM

Oh for god's sake, Chuck. Draw a little clock face on the pad and pretend it's a Rolex.

Posted by Spoogie | April 9, 2008 2:58 PM

@23 is right.

Freckles bandaids - I think some of the Strawberry Shortcakes bandaids have freckles.

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 9, 2008 2:58 PM

Charles, looks like you need a triple-dip, those can be hard to find

Posted by notpchumor | April 9, 2008 2:59 PM

i prefer electrical tape.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | April 9, 2008 2:59 PM

At first I was somewhat sympathetic w/ chuck's point, one I'm familiar with.
Jesus. There is no shortage of racial shit to point out in every day life, White bandaids, not being the least of these, so if you're going to pitch bitch about it, make sure it's a WHITE FUCKING BANDAID!

Posted by Black2 | April 9, 2008 3:17 PM

I'm pigment challenged and melanin deficient so bandages don't come in my skin color either; they're always too dark. So I buy ones with Curious George on them.

Posted by Fair in an unfair world | April 9, 2008 3:31 PM

I've been complaining about shit like this for years at my work. Believe me, it's just easier to change to white.

Posted by El Seven | April 9, 2008 3:34 PM

They pay you??

Posted by !! | April 9, 2008 3:36 PM

Angry Racial Star Wars Screed transfered to Self Adhesive Plastic Bandages.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | April 9, 2008 3:41 PM

If we know a kid is going to be ginger, shouldn't we do the right thing and kill it? Just sayin'. Sorry Katelyn, but freckles really gotta go.

Posted by pencil riot | April 9, 2008 3:46 PM

Nice arm Mudede! I'm weird but that is the first thought that popped into my head.

Posted by mj | April 9, 2008 3:47 PM

I agree with @47. That arm is sexy.

Posted by yumm | April 9, 2008 3:52 PM

at least you can wear band-aids
I'm allergic to the adhesives
have to leave my cuts exposed

Posted by irl | April 9, 2008 4:07 PM

Yeah, it's a clear band-aid. Okay, so the gauze is bleached, but no one would buy the things if the gauze was natural grayish-tan. That's why you never see grayish-tan toilet paper except in places that can pay five times as much for that all-natural Seventh Generation stuff. I guess you can make a legitimate complaint that everyone associates "white" with "sanitary" if you really wanted to. But then someone might call the guys with the ought-to-be-grayish-tan coats on you.

Posted by Stacy | April 9, 2008 4:08 PM


From the looks of it, that IS a clear Band-Aid; his skin seems to show through the adhesive parts, it's just the absorbent cotton padding in the center that's causing his tizzy-fit.

Which means I suppose that, until Science develops genetically-modified cotton that comes in a range of skin-tones, wearing cotton must now be considered akin to promoting racism.

Or something.

It's Chaz, after all, who the hell KNOWS what he's talking about. I bet half the time even HE doesn't.

Posted by COMTE | April 9, 2008 4:21 PM

What about black Albinos, clear would be apropo, no?

PS That is tote a clear b-aid Charles.

Posted by hunh? | April 9, 2008 5:01 PM

Band-aids are not meant to match any skin tone, but are intended to cover a small skin abrasion, cut, or the like. For fashion statement band-aids one must go to Paris or London.

Posted by Sargon Bighorn | April 9, 2008 5:09 PM

@53 - no, look in the kid's aisle.

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 9, 2008 5:12 PM

I don't agree that band-aids are not meant to match any specific skin tone. Unless you buy clear, neon, or cartoon band-aids, the colour of the band-aid is going to be a light or darkish peach. Kind of like the peach "flesh colour" crayon in the box - the only crayon labeled "flesh colour" (I have to admit I haven't looked in a box of crayons for years, but I imagine they've got around to fixing that??). I cut my hand last week and went to get a band-aid and for some reason it occurred to me for the first time in my life that these band-aids were designed for my skin and my skin only. If not, why peach as the predominant colour? Why not maroon, or forest green? Come on.
Also: do they make band-aids for darker skinned people? I've never seen them in the pharmacy.

Posted by Becky | April 9, 2008 5:40 PM

everyone has forgotten the plight of wounded hirsute folks of every color. there are no "hair" band-aids.

Posted by helix | April 9, 2008 6:35 PM

@50 - Greyish-tan toilet paper is a blind world without braile when you're working the greyish-tan crayon (read: A dozen oyster tacos, 16 hours of elapsed time, and a mug of french roast drip).

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | April 9, 2008 6:37 PM

In our radical, X-treme marketing era, isn't it time for a GNARLY Band Aid? Something that looks like a worse wound than you actually have underneath it? That'd be kewl.

Posted by CP | April 9, 2008 7:26 PM

For crying out loud, why on earth should an employer have to get BAND-AID (R) brand adhesive bandages that match all its employees' skin tones? The Stranger should just get rainbow colored adhesive bandages, and then you can pick your favorite color of the rainbow.

Posted by David | April 9, 2008 7:31 PM

@22 thbbbpt

Posted by egid | April 9, 2008 8:10 PM

@58 i have had ninja band-aids at one point

Posted by vooodooo84 | April 9, 2008 8:29 PM

Next time just lay down a bead of superglue.

Posted by flesh tone | April 9, 2008 8:32 PM
And why only ibuprofen and not any aspirin?

From a first-aid sort of perspective, I think ibuprofen is anti-inflammatory, so it would be a lot more useful than aspirin for say, a sprained ankle. Anti-inflammatories help with the pain and take down some of the swelling as well.

I tend to go for pirate/ninja bandaids when I can get them. When I need something that actually stays on, I recommend those tough strip things - they'll stay on through anything. They're great if you work outside and need to keep sawdust/mulch/plants out of your cuts.

Posted by wench | April 9, 2008 8:40 PM

@49 - try a product called Tegaderm - 3M makes it. It is a clear film that does not use traditional adhesives. If I absolutely have to have a wound covered, it's the only thing I can use.

Posted by Shewho | April 9, 2008 9:29 PM


Posted by Greg | April 9, 2008 10:59 PM

Referral number three to Colson Whitehead's book.

Posted by keith | April 10, 2008 12:25 AM

We stock electric blue band-aids at my restaurant so you can find them easily if they fall off into your spaghetti.

Posted by muggims | April 10, 2008 8:36 AM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).