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Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Macy’s: Department Store of Doom

posted by on April 1 at 15:44 PM

First: A 32-year-old, 400-pound man expires after being detained by store security for trying to steal a hat from Macy’s.


Second: A 22-year-old man was stabbed in the neck by a stranger while shopping at Macy’s: “The suspect turned around, grabbed him from behind and stabbed him in the neck with a knife. The victim turned around and said to the suspect, ‘What are you doing? I don’t even know you.’ The suspect replied by stabbing the victim in the shoulder three times.”

Third: Macy’s CEO’s salary fell $2 million in 2007.

Fourth: In honor of its new “eco-awareness campaign,” Macy’s has mailed out a bunch of swag bound for dumpsters across America.



RSS icon Comments


Wow. This actually makes me want to go shop at Macy's.

Posted by Mr. Poe | April 1, 2008 3:51 PM

Well there, Ms. Kiley, it seems that you have some issues with Macy's. Care to talk?

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 1, 2008 3:54 PM

I'm glad the CEO's salary went down.

It's a good thing.

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 1, 2008 4:04 PM

That could explain the bloodstains on my coat.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 1, 2008 4:16 PM

Why is it retail CEOs are paid with cash as their salary?? Why aren't they paid with stock options like the CEOs of Google and Apple are paid? That way they can work hard to make sure the company does well so their options are worth more. Even $14.4 Mil is too much. Eliminate that salary and you could hire 220 new salaried employees paying them $65K. That's 220 families benefiting from a parent bringing enough income to keep their house, save for college tuitions, and make sure they stay amoung the middle class.

Posted by apres_moi | April 1, 2008 4:25 PM

Macy's ain't nothing but trash. AND they destroyed by beloved Marshall Field's.

Posted by Michigan Matt (soon to be Balt-o-matt) | April 1, 2008 4:28 PM

Soon-to-be-Balt-o-Matt @ #6,

Macy's killed Marshall Field's and a bunch of other stores with it's poorly planned take over of Federated Dept Stores.They thought they'd gain market share in the west by buying an established chain, but they made the dumb mistake of 're-branding' them as Macy's and Bloomingdale's. Macy's hadn't done well out west because customer's didn't like their product and thought it was overpriced crap.

And 'yes' I am still somewhat bitter about losing my job.

Posted by Y.F. | April 1, 2008 5:27 PM

#6 - gotta agree. Macy's has been a particularly un-classy store for AT LEAST my lifetime.

Posted by Dougsf | April 1, 2008 5:27 PM

I agree, the Bon has just completely gone to shit since the takeover, and it seems to take a noticeable plunge every time they make a rebranding step. Since they got rid of "Bon-Macy's" they're just terrible -- crappy merchandise, incompetent or rude clerks. They're no better than Penney's now. I still call it the Bon, too. Fuck Macy's.

Posted by Fnarf | April 1, 2008 5:50 PM

@7, as a "Citizen of the West," I'd have to say you nailed it. I still have my Stetson 4X silver beaver hat and my Nocono boots and am damned proud to wear them, and I sure as hell don't need somebody from New York telling me what to wear.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 1, 2008 5:55 PM

Re: Second. Almost the exact same thing happened to Samuel Beckett. After nearly dying, he eventually confronted the stranger who had stabbed him in the chest, and asked him why he had done it. This man reportedly answered "I don't know. I'm sorry". This incident always explained so much to me about Beckett's work.

Posted by kid icarus | April 1, 2008 5:57 PM

Fuck Macy's. I don't know anyone who's had a decent shopping experience at the Bon since Macy's got to them. If I'm going to pay out the nose for high-end clothes, I'll do it at Nordstrom, where the staff is nicer and the return policy is better.

Posted by Jessica | April 1, 2008 6:08 PM

Oh, Lord. I knew Julie (I think that was her name; I'm not Aislinn, I don't have a list) Nordstrom many years ago. Brings back memories.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 1, 2008 6:22 PM

All this talk reminds me of the wonderful Tiffany ceiling at the flagship Marshall Field's in Chicago. I half expect Macy's to have installed a drop ceiling by this point. Check this out:

Posted by Michigan Matt (soon to be Balt-o-matt) | April 1, 2008 7:05 PM

Marshall Fields in Chicago is the prettiest department store in the US, I do believe. The only thing that can touch it is Printemps in Paris.

Posted by Fnarf | April 1, 2008 7:31 PM

Wow! Thanks Matt for that link to the beautiful interior! I can't imagine seeing that in person!!! :)

Posted by Kristin Bell | April 2, 2008 2:40 AM

Another contender for amazing department store showplaces is the Grand Court at John Wanamaker's (now -also- Macy's, ugh). An enormous soaring place with a fantastic organ. The Christmas light displays with organ concerts were a delight of my yoof in Philadelphia.'s

Posted by Karlheinz Arschbomber | April 2, 2008 8:03 AM

At least the guy that got stabbed in the neck had physical proof of how I usually feel after I leave Macy's.

Posted by Jake | April 2, 2008 12:23 PM

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