Chow Candy Should Not Be Mean
posted by April 14 at 12:42 PM
on“Jellybeans! Yum! Yes, I would like one, thank you. Which kind? Oh, Buttered Popcorn is my favorite. What the fuck!? [gagging, spitting noises] This isn’t buttered popcorn, this tastes like fucking rotten egg!? You sick fuck!”
One box, 10 colors, 20 flavors. Half taste delicious—Cafe Latte, Pear, Carmel Corn, etc. Their evil twins, though, taste like shit. Or pencil shavings. Or ear wax. And the only way to know which is which is to taste them.
It’s a dare, you see? Jelly Belly is daring you to eat the jelly beans that may or may not make you want to die.
That’s just fucking mean. They’re selling them at the QFC on Broadway and Pike if you’re looking to ruin someone’s day.
And yeah, the vomit really does taste like vomit. It’s fucking disgusting.
Comments
Wait, buttered popcorn is a NON-PRANK flavor?
That's the nastiest jellybean ever. I'd rather eat a handful of vomit/skunk spray/armpit jellybeans than a single buttered popcorn.
I hope JK Rowling is getting compensation for this.
Further proof that Jelly Belly makes the worst jellybeans known to man.
They should make these instead:
http://www.manoverse.com/2008/04/03/jelly-belly-manly-flavors/
Okay, hold on. Naturally and Artificially flavored? I hope they clarify which is natural and which is artificial.
What's wrong with black pepper?
Or toothpaste?
Or boogers?
I want black pepper! Now! OMG OMG OMG.
Looks like someone in Product Development is a little too obsessed with Harry Potter.
@4 - I clicked on the link. BOOB flavor?! LMAO! I didn't realize that boobs came in flavors. You know, a flavor different than say, ARM or LEG flavor. Too funny. And really, Megan, I love your candy/weird drink posts, but buttered popcorn?! I'll have to second #1 on that one. I didn't realize that there were people that actually liked that! Thanks for taking one for the team again, though. Not that I would take the risk of eating the vomit or baby wipe (WTF?!) flavor in the first place... I'll stick with the pink grapefruit jelly bellies. They are really the only ones that taste good.
Jones Soda is probably in cahoots as well.
I have a hard time believing that Skunk Spray and Licorice are two distinct flavors.
Wouldn't you have wanted to sit in on the focus-group interviews for these?
"Does sample A taste more like boogers, or, would you say sample B tastes more like boogers?"
"Which of the following does the sample taste more like: A.) Jaeger shots and hotdog at 3:00 a.m. vomit; B.) Saki and rancid tuna-belly at 7:00 p.m. vomit; or, C.) Bloody Mary and Hangtown Fry at 11:30 a.m. vomit?"
And finally, is there really ANY appreciable difference in taste between "skunk spray" and "licorice"?
@11:
Jinx!
Help I ccan't post polital jokes with real peoples names as anonymus anymore...what's the world coming to??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Let me try, really..... seriously..... to post one and see if the spelling changes again after I post it with a weird name change......
Jelly Belly made the Harry Potter ones and the Booger flavored one seriously almost killed me. But the grass one was pretty good!
Take your meds, DKB, or Slog will continue to rearrange the photons beaming toward your eyes. No colander can protect you now.
Pardon me -- DBK, not DKB.
If there *is* a jelly bean flavor worse than buttered popcorn (there isn't), it would have to be licorice.
Considering Jelly Belly was the ones that made the real-life version of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, this is not surprising. Now that HP mania is over (or in a lull till the next movie), they've got to do something with all that investment.
Buttered Popcorn is my favorite flavor as well. It reminds me of eating popcorn and JuJu beans at the movies when I was a kid.
No regular Jelly Belly flavor is worse than strawberry.
Sweet! I'm partial to cherry nibs & popcorn, myself. I always smuggle a bag of them into the drive-in, since they don't sell them there.
I tried these back when Jelly Belly was selling them under the "Bertie Bott" label as a Harry Potter tie-in. The black pepper ones are awesome: I just wish there were some way to buy them without having to invest in the vomit, booger and earwax flavors, all of which I can sadly confirm are shockingly realistc.
What is the point of having half a package of candy tasting terrible?
This can't be real. If you search on Jelly Belly's web site there's no mention of this. The prank is the fact that the product doesn't exist.
i've had them. they're fascinating. the rotten egg was impossible to eat and made me want to vomit even more than the vomit flavored bean. i agree that grass was ok! so was soap!
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