Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« Hello, I Must Be Going, Part T... | Commodifying Earth Day »

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Butt Out

posted by on April 22 at 10:50 AM

Uh… man. This item in the Cabela’s catalogue has been givng me nightmares since a neighbor “shared” it with me last year…


The Butt Out Tool is “the fastest, easiest way to disconnect the anal alimentary canal from deer or similar-sized game.” (Emphasis added.) I suppose it’s never too early to buy gifts for the serial killers on your Christmas list. Give ‘em a Butt Out Tool and they’ll “never go back to using a knife for this particular chore.”

Horrifying. But, hey, at least they’re not calling it the Deer-E-Ere anymore.

RSS icon Comments


seriously though, trying to do that with a knife is not fun. one nick of the alimentary canal and you've just contaminated alot of meat.

Posted by Jiberish | April 22, 2008 11:15 AM

why does that even need to happen, even?

Posted by bree | April 22, 2008 11:17 AM

Dan, Fuck you very much for sharing that. I really could have gone my whole life without have to know about that particular bit of horror.

Posted by Providence | April 22, 2008 11:18 AM

At first I thought it was a tool for expressing a dog's anal glands.

Posted by keshmeshi | April 22, 2008 11:23 AM

@4 - they already have one of those. it's called a public intern.

Posted by jessica yen | April 22, 2008 11:27 AM

omg, for several minutes i thought it was for humans. i guess i just ADD ignored the whole deer thing. i still don't really understand what it's for, but I'm still clenched.

Posted by um | April 22, 2008 11:31 AM

And I thought those glass things at Toys in Babeland looked dangerous.......

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 22, 2008 11:32 AM

#2, the entire digestive tract has to be removed before transporting the carcass because it will quickly taint the meat.

Posted by w7ngman | April 22, 2008 11:34 AM

Yep, the Cabela's catalog is a real treasure trove of implements for dismembering carcases. And nope, we're talking animals here, not people . . . unless you have a sick, twisted mind like Dan.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | April 22, 2008 11:37 AM

Two things:

1) Dan loves anus so much! He loves his own, he loves other mens in bathrooms, he loves Terry's. He has loved thousands of anus's over the course of his lifetime of buggering. Anything that offends the "anui" of the world is like watching the holocaust happen in front of him. To Dan, the persecution of anus's is like watching his best friend get gassed by nazis at aushwitz.

2) I love it when arrogant and ignorant city folk encounter something from the more rural part of this country. Not that any of you have actually shot a deer. No. Yet you go the extra step and conclude that someone who does is a serial killer. BRILLIANT!!! You guys sure do know a lot about life! I mean, between preening yourselves for a trip down to the glory hole, laughing at homeless people and finding new and exciting ways to make your hair look like shit, how do you have the time to chortle at the backwards ways of the common folk?

I take solace in the fact that city will turn into virtual slaughterhouses and you assholes will become cannibals when the impending collapse happens. That is, until you die from some ungodly illness picked up because you have no idea why it's important to core out your prey's asshole.

Posted by ecce homo | April 22, 2008 11:46 AM

what constitutes 'entire digestive tract'? jesus. i don't know if i want to know.

smells like meat. rott-en meat.

Posted by bree | April 22, 2008 11:47 AM

I guess you don't have relatives with deer teeth sitting on the water heater. Just part of life outside the city, ya'll.

Posted by joe mama | April 22, 2008 11:54 AM

I know why it's important to core out my prey's asshole.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 22, 2008 12:02 PM

....I just don't know why you need the "Butt-Out" tool.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 22, 2008 12:04 PM

On another note, I'm not sure why certain "people" (i.e. trolls) are allowed to keep coming back...

Posted by DanFan | April 22, 2008 12:27 PM

Oh, and ya gotta love the illustration. Yikes!! That'll have me clenched for a couple of hours...

Posted by DanFan | April 22, 2008 12:31 PM


I know what you mean. I mean, someone with the name "DanFan" must be some 15 year old who just discovered Savage Love and how "edgy" it is and definately shouldn't be posting.

I mean, how offensive!

Posted by ecce homo | April 22, 2008 12:34 PM

Funny how you knew who I was talking about...

Posted by DanFan | April 22, 2008 12:41 PM

You gotta love Cabella's or as my roommate likes to call it, "The Red State REI".

Posted by Jeff | April 22, 2008 12:46 PM


Are you a victim of Dans buggering? Is that what has you all tied up in a knot?

Posted by ecce homo | April 22, 2008 12:47 PM

ecce cracks my shit up.

Posted by some dude | April 22, 2008 12:53 PM

I'm with Providence @ 3. I was happy this morning. Life was making sense. Fuck that, Dan just ruined it forever.

When ecce's collapse happens, I guess I'm gonna starve.

Posted by Mike in MO | April 22, 2008 1:12 PM

@20 - That must be it. LOL! Anyway, I'm feeding the troll again. Sorry everyone. I'm done now.

Posted by DanFan | April 22, 2008 1:14 PM

The graphical directions are kind of odd. I'm guessing that people who need to core an ass would probably already know how to perform the deed before buying this product.

Posted by El Seven | April 22, 2008 1:16 PM

Better images here! Click the [Instructions] link. And you can zoom in to see the barbs with better clarity!

Posted by El Seven | April 22, 2008 1:21 PM

One more thing that I never needed to know about, and now will never be able to forget...

Posted by Hernandez | April 22, 2008 1:22 PM

I love you, ecce. But for the record: the neighbor that brought this... this... thing to my attention is a heterosexual male, not particularly obsessed with all things anal (so far as I know), and he was just as horrified by it as I was/am, and for the same reasons.

Posted by Dan Savage | April 22, 2008 1:59 PM

This reviewer gave it Five Stars (out of five...)

"I bought the first one with some skepticism. However, it performed better than I'd hoped. In fact, it worked perfectly.

I bragged it up to my buddy so he borrowed it. I haven't seen it since.

I bought another. Just follow the instructions. Don't over torque the membrane.

I love it."

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 22, 2008 3:01 PM

Don't over-torque the membrane.

Truer words were never spoken.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 22, 2008 3:02 PM

Doesn't hold a candle to the Henderson Equine Castrating Instrument.

Posted by it's ME | April 22, 2008 3:13 PM

This is one of those things that I wish I could un-see.

Posted by Sam | April 22, 2008 3:37 PM

Indeed. This thread is all fun and games until someone posts a video.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | April 22, 2008 4:06 PM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).