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Friday, March 7, 2008

This Is Just Wrong on So Many Levels

posted by on March 7 at 16:01 PM

My Little Pony meets Bratz. The result of this hellish doll-on-horse union? Strutz, the first children’s toy that will make you question everything you ever thought you knew about ponies.

Meet Sydney, the tousle-haired, pink-platform-loving Aussie…


… Rio, the busty Latina with a wild streak:


… And Milan, the sultry, mysterious Asiatic hottie:


Platform heels and horses should not even be together in the same sentence, much less in the same toy.

Via Chaos Theory.

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Horses that little girls can DRESS? Why didn't I think of that. There will be much money.

Posted by hillpagan | March 7, 2008 4:01 PM

heh heh

Posted by muggims | March 7, 2008 4:04 PM

it's so wrong and so obvious at the same time.

Posted by infrequent | March 7, 2008 4:07 PM

I wish they had tits.

Posted by Ari Spool | March 7, 2008 4:10 PM

aDORable! I like their slim ankles and insanely long legs... these are gonna give real horses major self-esteem problems.

Posted by Katelyn | March 7, 2008 4:11 PM



Posted by tabletop_joe | March 7, 2008 4:12 PM

@1: I used to put my stretchier Barbie clothes on my My Little Ponies. I guess it is surprising such a thing hasn't been attempted before.

This, however, is an abomination.

Horses, just like little girls, shouldn't be sexy.

Posted by Aislinn | March 7, 2008 4:13 PM

I hope my daughter doesn't see these.

Posted by Mike of Renton | March 7, 2008 4:13 PM


Posted by tabletop_joe | March 7, 2008 4:14 PM

Well, Ari, maybe they wish you had tits too.

Posted by Elvis | March 7, 2008 4:15 PM

Chris will love these!

Posted by Mr. Poe | March 7, 2008 4:16 PM

Isn't Milan a Czech boy's name?

Actually, thinking of one of them as a Czech transsexual makes this a whole lot more entertaining.

Posted by Abby | March 7, 2008 4:16 PM

how does a horse even use a purse?

Posted by Bellevue Ave | March 7, 2008 4:18 PM

I blame that "Zoo" movie. Clearly, sexy horses are becoming mainstream.

Or maybe the fundies were right, and it really WAS a slippery slope from homosexuality to bestiality.

Posted by exelizabeth | March 7, 2008 4:19 PM


Maybe it's a feedbag.

Posted by tabletop_joe | March 7, 2008 4:20 PM

Jesus christ... What's wrong with good old fashioned Breyer Horses? Those things were the BEST!!! Til I got a real pony athat is. Bratz ponies are for suckas, real ponies are for perfect little princesses (like me).

Posted by Queen_of_Sleaze | March 7, 2008 4:21 PM

I think it's a barfbag.

Posted by Will in Seattle | March 7, 2008 4:22 PM

you can't spell Horse without "Ho".

Posted by max solomon | March 7, 2008 4:24 PM

Way less creepy than the Baby Bratz.

Posted by JC | March 7, 2008 4:28 PM

Um, since the names seem pretty geo-specific, wouldn't Milan be the "sultry, mysterious ITALIAN hottie"?

Regardless, these are even creepier than the ponies Atrios (or is it Kos?) regularly puts up on his site.

Posted by COMTE | March 7, 2008 4:34 PM

another toy to put on the 'not in my house' list.

Posted by amazonmidwife | March 7, 2008 4:51 PM

Oh get over yourself. Newsflash: A lot of little girls love ponies. A lot of little girls also love dress up. Combining the two seems to me a somewhat brilliant concept which will no doubt sell well.

Posted by Burgin99 | March 7, 2008 4:52 PM

maybe it's supposed to be MU-lan, like the disney character...?

Posted by Judith | March 7, 2008 4:53 PM

Have to admit, it's stuff like this that makes me glad I have a son.
(Note to ECB - sorry to read the nasty response posts to your earlier Slog entry on the 'monster thing'. What a bunch of assholes.)

Posted by Madashell | March 7, 2008 4:53 PM

I think they confused Milan with Mulan.

Posted by Julie | March 7, 2008 4:54 PM

Also, My Little Ponies had clothes. Well, maybe just accessories, but I definitely remember capes and hats and things like that.

Also, Judith, get out of my head.

Posted by Julie | March 7, 2008 4:56 PM

Why is the Asian horse gray with death? That's fucked up...

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | March 7, 2008 5:01 PM

@22: It's not the dress-up/pony combination that anyone has a problem with. It's the sexed-up anthropomorphism and perpetuation of idiotic stereotypes.

Posted by Aislinn | March 7, 2008 5:16 PM

Wow. It's like the evil perverted version of that horse trading card game Bella Sara. So wrong.

Posted by gaq | March 7, 2008 5:17 PM

wow, I remember when my little ponies were special.

Posted by catnextdoor | March 7, 2008 5:26 PM

...Uhm...The first thing I though of when I saw these was furries. Toy versions of furries...

Posted by velvetSky | March 7, 2008 5:35 PM

Hey Erica if you don't like 'em, THEN DON'T FUCKING PLAY WITH THEM and stop worrying about what other peoples brats play with...

Posted by bjank | March 7, 2008 5:36 PM

Those horsies are going to break their little ankles.

Posted by keshmeshi | March 7, 2008 5:37 PM

Fuck the shoes, they all have PURSES! Horses with purses!

Posted by johnnie | March 7, 2008 5:45 PM

I wish they would come out with a Planet Unicorn set....for the kids!

Posted by dat | March 7, 2008 5:50 PM

Can't wait for Mudede's follow-up.

Posted by RonK, Seattle | March 7, 2008 5:50 PM

Somewhere, a future homosexual is jumping up and down at a Toys R Us begging his mother to buy these.

Posted by Jake | March 7, 2008 5:56 PM

A future homosexual? I'm jumping up and down right now!

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | March 7, 2008 6:06 PM

That Ozzie one is givin' me a boner. Is that wrong?

Posted by Fnarf | March 7, 2008 6:20 PM

These would make a GREAT Halloween costumes. Hmm, who wants to be Aislinn's rear end?

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | March 7, 2008 6:41 PM

Makes me think of lunch meat dropped from the top of the World Trade Center (Doh!), I mean the Empire State Building, and splattered all over the sidewalk!!

Posted by Mark in Colorado | March 7, 2008 7:00 PM

That's OK, Mark, you can drop it from the Qwest building.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | March 7, 2008 7:04 PM

no less weird than mrs. potato head.

Posted by gforce | March 7, 2008 7:21 PM

I'm in lo-o-o-o-ve.....

Posted by Mister Ed | March 7, 2008 7:25 PM

I think I must puke now.

Posted by thehawke | March 7, 2008 7:31 PM

this makes me want to curl up and cry and scream from the roof of toys r us all at the same time
let me just get this out...

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by angelfish | March 7, 2008 7:34 PM

I'd fucking hitcrop it!

Posted by rfjason | March 7, 2008 7:52 PM

my old "my little ponies" were FATASSES compared to these lovely ladies. no burgers for these ponies!

Posted by Becky | March 7, 2008 9:52 PM

So, movies about doing a horse is COOL?

Sexy little Ponies is bad?

I know that somehow this is supposed to be degrading to women, blah,blah but I would have loved these when I was a kid.

Posted by mj | March 8, 2008 9:20 AM

Yes, all the quiver full ladies are pretty freaked about these sexy little ponies too.

Sexy just freaks Americans out unless it's porn or every commercial and advertisement that teaches girls sexy is good.

I would have loved these ponies when I was a girl. I wanted to be a pony and a pony in cute clothes and platforms would have been so cool.

Posted by mj | March 8, 2008 10:14 AM

Sorry for the double post. The first post did not show up, forever!

Posted by mj | March 8, 2008 10:40 AM

A customer of this toy says her "daughter plays with this horse all the time"

The customer's name?
"Erika the bust mom"

I really hope this is a typo for "best mom"

Posted by kmonkey | March 8, 2008 12:03 PM

Eunumclaw - what is your opinion on this?

Posted by Mr.Hands | March 8, 2008 4:39 PM

Steeds for the Four Horsemen.

Posted by Megan | March 8, 2008 5:23 PM

Seems like some bad little horses haven't read about Latawyna the Naughty Horse....

Posted by Autumn | March 8, 2008 9:33 PM

Saw this on Jezebel yesterday. Didn't any of you ladies remember the Fashion Star Fillies from the late 80s? They were like this, but, you know, not built like Bratz.

And Breyer horses were alway cooler. I bet you anything these things fall over when you try to line them all up on your shelf.

Posted by Jessica | March 8, 2008 10:42 PM

Seems like some product developer watched Planet Unicorn and managed to take it a few notches further.

Posted by M'thew | March 9, 2008 5:35 AM

no. that is just some serious sick shit. no. that's all.

Posted by M | March 9, 2008 6:46 PM

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