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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Sexy, Sexy… Six-Year-Olds?

posted by on March 25 at 15:04 PM


Oh, God help us: There’s a new online video game aimed at seven-to-16-year-old girls called “Miss Bimbo.” The goal: To win “bimbo points” by getting skinny, slutty, and popular, with the ultimate aim of becoming the “hottest, coolest, most famous bimbo ever!” Step one: Get a cool but not-too-taxing job or find a “sugar daddy” to keep you in “bimbo bucks,” which you can use to buy sexy clothes, lingerie, breast implants, or diet pills to keep you at your “target weight”—“waif thin.” Players are told to “stop at nothing,” even “meds or plastic surgery,” to win the game. Along the way, they encounter challenges—like level 7 (“After you broke up with your boyfriend you went on an eating binge! Now it’s time to diet”), level 9 (“Have a nip and tuck operation for a brand new face”), and level 11 (“Bigger is better! Have a breast operation.”) The game’s creator (a dude) told the Times of London that the game is “tongue in cheek” (because nine-year-olds really get that whole irony thing) and that it teaches girls “morally sound” principles about “the real world.” And lest you think this is just an obscure, silly lark by a to get feminists all riled up, consider this: As of this post, Miss Bimbo had more than 225,000 registered players.

Meanwhile, in totally unrelated news, the Tacoma News Tribune reports that parents are finding it hard to find non-“sexy” clothing for their little girls. That means velour pants advertising girls’ six-year-old asses as “Juicy”; low-rise jeans for girls too young to have hips to hold them up; shirts in little-girl sizes with slogans like “Knockin’ Boots”; and platform heels more appropriate for strippers than elementary students. ““The pants rise on little girl pants are too low to be practical,” one mom is quoted as saying. “Kids run, jump and hang on monkey bars. With these fashions, their bottom is hanging out at recess.”

Hey, Mom? If you’re reading this, just be grateful that when I was a preteen, the worst thing you had to worry about was me wanting to wear all black all the time.

RSS icon Comments


Um, are you sure this isn't a port of a Japanese game?

Look, they can get kind of pervy ... not quite sure why they're fixated on Lolitas ... or tentacles and bunny ears.

Posted by Will in Seattle | March 25, 2008 3:04 PM

Well, dammit, how the hell can you expect me to get interested in your six-year-old if she doesn't have breast implants? Sheesh. Come on, girl; WORK it.

Posted by Fnarf | March 25, 2008 3:12 PM

I wonder how many of those 225,000 7-to-16-year-old "bimbos" are really 40-year-old men with beer guts, sitting in front of their computers in nothing but black socks and Fruit of the Looms?

Posted by Wolf | March 25, 2008 3:14 PM

where are these parents shopping? honestly, i find it hard to believe that velour pants are all that are offered for young girls. or that they wont just buy white, black, grey tshirts for the child.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | March 25, 2008 3:18 PM

That is so similar to a Law & Order rerun I saw last night about how virtual porn (digitally turning 18 girls into 12 year old girls) encourages pedophilia. The porn guy was convicted with facilitating the rape and murder of a 10 year old girl by a pedophile who patronized the porn guy's website. Yuck.

Posted by Carollani | March 25, 2008 3:20 PM

Pity ECB. Some unlucky girls will never earn bimbo status no matter how hard they try.

Posted by montex | March 25, 2008 3:23 PM

It's a world full of prosti-tots!

Posted by scharrera | March 25, 2008 3:34 PM

I am waiting for the "Gay Boi" version of the same game. Same goals except with added points to use crystal and do bareback porn. And you can still call it Miss Bimbo!

Posted by Andrew | March 25, 2008 3:35 PM

I'd totally play the gay version!

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | March 25, 2008 3:43 PM

I'm sure it's becoming difficult for parents to find non-provocative clothing for the preteen daughters because they're shopping exclusively at The Limited Too and Gap Kids, because their bimbo daughters think their worth is directly proportional to their sense of fashion.

Posted by Chris in Tampa | March 25, 2008 3:44 PM

whatever happened to parents dressing their children like children? now everyone wants to turn their kids into mini-me's. it's hideous.

but that article sounds a bit sensationalistic to me. the *only* shoes these parents can find are platform heels? platform heels?!? i find that really, really hard to believe.

Posted by brandon | March 25, 2008 3:44 PM


Actually, I think that would be called a Himbo.

Posted by montex | March 25, 2008 3:44 PM


Actually, I think that would be called a Himbo.

Posted by montex | March 25, 2008 3:45 PM

Speaking as the parent of a 10 year old girl, the Tacoma story is sensationalist bullshit, aimed at selling copy by sexualizing kids under the disguise of reporting "shocking news."

Any parent who claims their only options are pants that say "juicy" on the butt- or anything on the butt- are FUCKING MORONS whose children should be taken away ASAP.

Unrelated: there are people in Tacoma can afford Nordstrom?

Posted by Big Sven | March 25, 2008 3:45 PM

What @4 said. That article is just sensationalist bullshit meant to sell more of their pathetic papers. Of course there's trashy clothing out there (how else would Wal-Mart turn a profit). But you don't have to buy it. Reminds me of the people who complain about the bad stuff on TV. Well, turn the fucking thing off!

Posted by mom | March 25, 2008 3:45 PM

File this under yuppie parent problem Chris?

Posted by Bellevue Ave | March 25, 2008 3:46 PM

"Sensationalist bullshit" seems to be the consensus.

Posted by Big Sven | March 25, 2008 3:47 PM

Snore. If it's been made into a South Park that's already in reruns local stations, it's hardly a new trend. Also, maybe it's because Seattle's climate doesn't accommodate revealing clothing well, but I just don't see it.

Posted by | March 25, 2008 3:51 PM

was ECB a goth chick?

Posted by SeMe | March 25, 2008 3:51 PM

It's the female version of grand theft auto.
Instead of screwing hookers... you're creating the hookers.

Posted by rawknbetty | March 25, 2008 3:53 PM

More likely a Johnny Cash fan, SeMe. She did grow up in Texas, after all.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | March 25, 2008 3:59 PM

Hell, I'd play THIS version.

Posted by monkey | March 25, 2008 4:00 PM

@3 has a good point - a lot of games i've played online I sometimes choose female characters - in fact, there's this couple where they met on WoW, but he was a she and she was a he, and after friending they admitted who they were - and then met since they lived in the same city.

But it still sounds like perv city.

Posted by Will in Seattle | March 25, 2008 4:14 PM

Yeah, that clothing thing is bullcrap. If anything, there's a trend of more traditional-style girl's clothing.

Although, I did see a teeny tiny black padded bra in the little girl's section the other day. That was weird.

Posted by tabletop_joe | March 25, 2008 4:20 PM

Mark Mitchell: the versions are interchangeable, the gay and str8 versions look exactly alike. The only difference being the gay version is for ages 20 to 55.

Posted by Sargon Bighorn | March 25, 2008 4:30 PM

Clothing for children that is substantially different in appearance from clothing for adults was only developed and became fashionable in the latter half of the 19th century. Up until the Victorians children wore miniature versions of adult clothing. Look at paintings of children in the 18th century and the works of Velasquez and Gainsborough specifically.

Posted by inkweary | March 25, 2008 4:39 PM

What nonsense. Yes, there is inappropriately "seductive" or revealing clothing for sale for preteen girls. But to try to claim that such articles are all that is available is hyperbole. Look, I wear children's size shoes myself, so shopping in the kids' section is not foreign to me. And I don't wear heels. I have no problem at all finding flats in the kids' shoes. I have yet to see any three-inch platform hooker shoes in with the kids' stuff.

Posted by Geni | March 25, 2008 4:44 PM

Ah, alarmism about what kids these days are wearing. It never gets old.

Posted by tsm | March 25, 2008 4:53 PM

If teenagers worried a bit more about their weight, perhaps we wouldn't be facing an epidemic of teenage obesity. Funny how, despite the obesity problem being orders of magnitude bigger than the anorexia problem, ECB prefers to harp on the latter. I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with the former not fitting so well with her narrative of female victimhood.

Posted by David Wright | March 25, 2008 5:21 PM

I logged into this Miss Bimbo site. It's creepy. Incredibly creepy.

Posted by Dawgson | March 25, 2008 5:41 PM

@24 - ewwwwwwwww. Seriously.

Posted by Will in Seattle | March 25, 2008 5:41 PM

@3: My boyfriend wears black socks and Fruit of the Looms.


Posted by Gloria | March 25, 2008 6:03 PM

I don't think that this will make little girls into prosititots any more than Dope Wars turned little kids into street slingers.

Posted by Rich Ard | March 25, 2008 7:36 PM

Comments 10, 14, 24 & those who think it isn't hard to find non-sexy girls clothes---
I disagree. I have two toddler nieces and many of their clothes have "princess" seams (a seam under the breast on a woman) which make the girls look like they have boobs. Not all the clothes are obvious like high heels, but many of them are made in a way that flatter a woman's body--breasts, hips, etc. Sure, non-sexy clothes can be found. But, sexy clothes are everywhere--including Target, Macys, GAP...

Posted by Papayas | March 25, 2008 10:54 PM

This should cheer you up for sure. See, I've got your old ID, and you're all dressed up like the Cure.

Posted by w7ngman | March 26, 2008 12:16 AM

ECB was both a goth and a Johnny Cash girl.

Posted by Mike in MO | March 26, 2008 5:30 AM

I call satirical stunt. Smells a bit like bonsai kittens all over again, to me.

Posted by Bento | March 26, 2008 6:10 AM
38 socks and Fruit of the Looms. Bring on Mr. Poe!

Posted by Spoogie | March 26, 2008 7:31 AM

@34 - I don't know what Target you're shopping at, but I have a two-year-old daughter and I'm a huge fan of Target Clearance sales (after all, she outgrows everything within a couple of months). I have never seen anything that accentuated any body parts on her or looked to be "sexy" in any way. The clothing they sell is pretty basic, and the only slogans I've seen are tshirts that say things such as, "My Dad is the man" and "grandma magnet". I've never seen anything that says "juicy" on the butt. For that matter, I've never seen any toddler pants that say anything at all on the butt.

Posted by DanFan | March 26, 2008 8:00 AM

Yah... I don' think were taliking toddlers here. Better luck next time!

Posted by KeeKee | March 26, 2008 10:34 AM

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