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Monday, March 3, 2008

Jesus Christ, War Criminal

posted by on March 3 at 9:25 AM

The liberal blogs aren’t going to let this rest: Barack Obama was forced to denounce and reject—or was it reject and denounce?—Louis Farrakhan after the bigoted leader of the nutty Nation of Islam endorsed him. Barack didn’t seek Farrakhan’s endorsement, never met with Farrakhan, etc. Days later John McCain welcomed the support of John Hagee, an evangelical pastor with all sorts of bigoted things to say about, well, everybody—but particularly Catholics.

Anyway, the whole world is sifting through past nutty statements of John Hagee, and today John at Americablog posted this.gem

HAGEE: All hurricanes are acts of God, because God controls the heavens. I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God, and they are—were recipients of the judgment of God for that. The newspaper carried the story in our local area that was not carried nationally that there was to be a homosexual parade there on the Monday that the Katrina came. And the promise of that parade was that it was going to reach a level of sexuality never demonstrated before in any of the other Gay Pride parades. So I believe that the judgment of God is a very real thing. I know that there are people who demur from that, but I believe that the Bible teaches that when you violate the law of God, that God brings punishment sometimes before the day of judgment. And I believe that the Hurricane Katrina was, in fact, the judgment of God against the city of New Orleans.

I wrote about this in my book The Commitment—not about Hagee, but about other evangelicals that claimed that the earthquake and tsunami that killed a quarter of a million people in Asia was God’s way of expressing his displeasure with gay marriage in Massachusetts. The same folks argue that God sent Katrina to punish New Orleans for tolerating gays in general and welcoming Southern Decadence, an admittedly sleazy gay street party. (Straight visitors to New Orleans, of course, are always very well behaved, completely sober, fully clothed, etc.) God, according to Hagee, is all-knowing and all-powerful… but incapable, it seems, of a surgical strike. Annoyed by the gay decadence in the French Quarter, God sent a hurricane that drowned little old ladies in their attics in the Ninth Ward, sick people in their beds in hospitals, and old folks in retirement homes. The French Quarter’s gay bars—site of all that decadence—survived Katrina unscathed. As I wrote in The Commitment

God may be all-knowing and all-powerful, but He is, it seems, a lousy shot, the Mr. Magoo of higher powers.

God also, according to Hagee, has the morals and of a Nazi. We executed Nazis that ordered reprisal killings and collective punishment, i.e. rounding up and shooting innocent villagers for after local resistance forces staged attacks. But Hagee blithely argues that Jesus—the Prince of Peace, the Friend of the Poor, the Lamb of God, etc.—-will drown scores of little old ladies in nursing homes when He’s angry at gay people cavorting in bars ten miles away. Reprisal killings and collective punishment—how do Hagee, Robertson, Dobson, et al, get away with ascribing the morals of Adolph Hitler (or Saddam Hussein) to Jesus Christ?

Actually… Hagee would have us believe that Jesus is worse than Hitler. The Nazis executed innocent villagers in part because they couldn’t lay their hands on the resistance fighters in Norway, France, Italy, the Netherlands, etc. The Nazis, you see, weren’t omniscient. Jesus Christ, however, is. So He doesn’t have to kill little old ladies in nursing homes when the gays piss him off. He has the power to send hurricanes just to the French Quarter, and then only to the gay end of the street, to punish those wicked and decadent homosexuals (while sparing those wicked and decadent heterosexuals). But Jesus, according to Hagee, chooses not to do that. Instead He engages in reprisal killings and collective punishment, just like Adolph Hitler, Pol Pot, Joseph Stalin, and Saddam Hussein.

Right now John McCain is being asked to denounce and reject the support of a man that has such terrible things to say about Catholics. It seems to me, though, that Hagee has said much, much worse about Jesus Christ.

RSS icon Comments


The difference is that we as liberals don't call racist xenophobes our "base".

Posted by bma | March 3, 2008 9:40 AM

John Hagee divorce his first wife to marry his church secretary. To me this is no big deal but this is mister morality we're talking about. There's a web site Hall of Shame for the Self-proclaimed:

According to Hagee's beliefs he's guilty of adultery, initiated and completed an unbiblical divorce and remarriage.

Guess that means his kids are all bastard, according to his beliefs.

Posted by jeffg166 | March 3, 2008 9:53 AM

C'mon, Dan. That ol' God is always pulling that kinda killing of the supposed innocent shit. It's all in that book.

Posted by umvue | March 3, 2008 9:58 AM


Posted by IzzyTamco | March 3, 2008 9:59 AM

People who believe in make believe gods or whatever in their adulthood have a mental illness. They should all be commited.

Posted by Andrew | March 3, 2008 10:04 AM

" God may be all-knowing and all-powerful, but He is, it seems, a lousy shot, the Mr. Magoo of higher powers"

That made me laugh. The Mr. Magoo observation is right on.

You're just wrong on who the Mr. Magoo's are. The Mr. Magoo's are all the Hagee's
and Pat Robertson's who actually think they are the great authorities on everything and act like they are some kind of higher power themselves. They're blind idiots and anybody who would follow them are just as dumb and blind.

I so wish they would shut up.

I'm the one people should be listening to anyway, sheesh, I know way more than those buffoons. I just don't have millions of dollars so nobody cares : )

Posted by mj | March 3, 2008 10:04 AM

The fixation with storms as the means for God's wrath makes me think these people are really hankering for a good old-fashioned thunder god. They say Jehovah, but secretly they mean Zeus or Thor.

Because heaven = the sky, naturally.

Posted by flamingbanjo | March 3, 2008 10:06 AM

People like Hagee really depress me. Religion is never going to go away. We have to work on making it a less pernicious force in human societies ... but how? There are plenty of rational religious people out there, but the Hagees seem to outnumber them 10 to 1 in this country.

Posted by A in NC | March 3, 2008 10:12 AM

as a recovering catholic, i am offended, but calling the catholic church, "the great whore" is too funny.

mccain doesnt really care about the cahtolic vote, its mostly based in big cities which he is going to lose, he is more worried about the evangelicals.

this hagee reminds me of northern ireland's ian paisley.

Posted by SeMe | March 3, 2008 10:21 AM

The Mr. Magoo of higher powers?!?

God's gonna smite your next-door neighbor for that!

Posted by NapoleonXIV | March 3, 2008 10:25 AM

"You've managed to kill everyone else but like a poor marksman, you keep missing the target! You got New Orleans, but you don't have me. You were going to kill me, God. You're gonna have to come down here. You're gonna have to come down here!


(Slightly altered dialogue courtesy of Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan.)

Posted by COMTE | March 3, 2008 10:33 AM

@10 Cute.

Posted by mj | March 3, 2008 10:34 AM

The man is even more deranged that Pat Robertson, if you believe that's possible.

Have you heard his theories on the end of the world? Fucking hilarious. Apparently, we fight half the countries in the world, then God swoops down and smites the Chinese and the Antichrist (who is the president of the EU).

Enjoy the endorsement, McCain! That should wipe out whatever remaining support you had among moderates.

Posted by Hernandez | March 3, 2008 11:04 AM


Isn't he going to need the Latino vote?

Apropos of what #7 said, the wingnuts' religion really seems to be a pagan religion. Not only do they apparently think God is preoccupied with the weather (ala a god of thunder), they also assign human fallibility to an allegedly omniscient and omnipotent being.

Posted by keshmeshi | March 3, 2008 11:07 AM

There's no shortage of kooks in the world. Farrakhan is a kook, and Obama would do well to distance himself from him. Hagee is a kook, and McCain, likewise, should distance himself from him. P.S.: I liked the Mr. Magoo comment too.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | March 3, 2008 11:08 AM

What a bastard. But you should know right now, appeals to the crazy conclusions that follow logically from his wacko beliefs are not going to move him one inch. His mental illness will not let him see the evil of his god-concept.

Posted by Greg | March 3, 2008 11:20 AM

@ 14

good point. he does, but my guess is that mccain feels he can do well with latinos because of his sponsoring of the kennedy-mccain bill.

i dont think mccain thinks he can win in california, new york, mass or jersey. the big catholic states.

Posted by SeMe | March 3, 2008 11:54 AM

In the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, God promises Lot he won't destroy Sodom if he can find 10 righteous men there. Apparently he didn't, because he ended up destroying it. But shouldn't there have been at least 10 righteous men in all of New Orleans to prevent God from destroying it?

Posted by julia | March 3, 2008 11:59 AM

What about all those trailer parks in Oklahoma, Mississippi, Louisiana, and so-forth that are constantly destroyed by tornadoes? Does Hagee believe those are also full of teh 'mo's and those who love them too?

If that's the case, then his god surely DOES work in mysterious ways, 'cause you know, punishing the innocent seems a pretty strange method for showing one's displeasure over the actions of supposed sinners:


*Sends tornado to smite innocent, elderly, church-going trailer park resident*

IECTPR: "Oh Lord, why dost thous smite me? I hate fags too!"

GOD: "Shaddup. I'm mysterious."

Homo: "Neener-neener! Missed me!"

*God smites another IECTPR*

God: "Oh blasphemous sinner, will you never learn to fear my wrath?"

Posted by COMTE | March 3, 2008 12:18 PM

Oh come on. More deranged than Pat Robertson? I don't think that's physically possible. Robertson believes every one of those old fashioned conspiracy theories. He is full on Illumanati material.

Let's just say he has it out for "European" bankers. Man, that code is almost impossible to break.

Posted by Jim | March 3, 2008 2:29 PM

Thanks Dan- I often think that the creepy conservative "Christian" statements around the Hurricane and flood, contrasted against some of the local churches that were able to support people post-catastrophe who were otherwise destroyed is THE missing element in stories about the whole horror. (Well, after the fact that it was a man-made flood that had been thoroughly predicted and preventable, and not the hurricane, that was the disaster.)

Posted by Matt L. | March 3, 2008 11:32 PM

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