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Monday, March 31, 2008

“Fuck You and Slip on Urine!”

posted by on March 31 at 9:31 AM

An angry local environmentalist weighs in, via I, Anonymous:

Dear Seattle: On Saturday, March 29, the U.S. of America has all across its land turned off electricity for the sake of this, our planet. Likewise, my roommates and myself, we as a house shut off the power for the entirety of ONE HOUR. This event is called, Earth Hour. In our spare time we decided to take a walk and see how the rest of the city has followed in this very logical and critical chance to make a difference and why were we not surprised that Sea-fucking-attle not only didn’t turn off their lights, but I think even more lights lit up across the city, like it was goddamn Christmas! So this is to all of you fuckers out there, so-called environmentalists of this fucking town who didnít do shit to make even a lick of difference: You fuckers! Yeah, I’m talking to you, you Lady in the Red Dress talking on your fucking phone with a thousand volts worth of lamps igniting your apartment like the night skies of Mars! You bitch! I hope you all choke on bits of food, or fall down into a sewer and get devoured by an alligator, which I’m sure, being a sensible being, chewed through any wires he could find just to do his own part. Even the alligator did something! You all embarrass me! Fucking quacks! ONE HOUR! That’s it. One little hour. Even Starbucks and McDonald’s, the evil corporation that Satan himself pickets on Sundays, agreed to turn off their power for one hour. How does that make you feel? Huh? You are nothing but hypocrites. Fuck you and slip on urine!

Supplementary question: Do all “passionate environmentalists” believe in magical alligators?

RSS icon Comments


Sorry, anonymous, I'll make it up to you on Buy Nothing day. Wait, I can't buy you anything that day. :(

Posted by mackro mackro | March 31, 2008 9:37 AM

Gotta love the true believer.

Posted by umvue | March 31, 2008 9:41 AM

I believe the alligators are our future.

Posted by flamingbanjo | March 31, 2008 9:41 AM

Wow, Anonymous REALLY needs to get laid.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | March 31, 2008 9:42 AM

Anonymous/Alligator '08

Posted by mackro mackro | March 31, 2008 9:42 AM

What does the "like the night skies of Mars" comment even mean? I don't think the Martian night time sky is very bright at all -- Mars' moons are relatively tiny and probably don't reflect much moonlight compared to ours. Phobos would look about a third the size of our Moon in the sky and Deimos would be like Venus, a bright star...

Posted by Peter F | March 31, 2008 9:43 AM

Thank heavens there's still someone out there telling it like it is, peering into our lives and finding us wanting. This is a service to our collective guilt.

Posted by Ziggity | March 31, 2008 9:43 AM

it was too purposeless...."be more conscious!" seemed to be the goal.....

direct action should be targeted to a specific goal and decisionmaker so you can win or lose......

e.g., "US Steel should honor the 8 hour work day" or "we will deliver our plastic bags to The City Council offices every week, until they ban plastic shopping bags!"

Posted by unPC | March 31, 2008 9:48 AM

Because turning your lights off for one hour is really going to offset that full tank you just purchased for your VW van.

Posted by seattle98104 | March 31, 2008 9:48 AM

I think "sip on urine" would've been a better closer than "slip on urine".

Posted by Hernandez | March 31, 2008 9:49 AM

this very logical and critical chance to make a difference

oh noes we missed the one and only chance to make a difference. we're all screwed!

anonymous needs to go burn down a house or something.

Posted by some dude | March 31, 2008 9:51 AM

Aw, don't mind him; he's just tired from picking up all those feathers after the pillow fight.

Posted by Elvis | March 31, 2008 9:56 AM

I hadn't even heard of this Earth Hour thing.

Posted by Aislinn | March 31, 2008 9:56 AM

maybe in the street of dreams

Posted by egid | March 31, 2008 9:56 AM

The hour off is nothing but an enviro-religion performing ritual. Any person who believes that turning off the power for one hour does anything to "save the planet" is not only naive, but out of touch with reality. If you believe that, you might as well believe that God will save humanity and the earth, so why worry.

How about this, save electricity everyday! One hour of one day of one year is insignificant ritualistic B.S. Better yet, do everyone a favor and opt out of society and refuse to use electricity ever. You and your brethren's sacrifice will more than offset our power use. You'll be instrumental in saving mother earth. Hallelujah!

Posted by Medina | March 31, 2008 9:59 AM

So you turned out your lights for one hour. That means the 20% of residual heat from the lights was not there causing your furnace or electric heaters to kick in to compensate for the heat loss due to the lights not being on.
Some might think they saved energy but if you are not going to turn down the thermostat at the same time then you are doing nothing or at the least very little.
It is a good to draw attention to these things but when it comes to doing the energy savings math of different buildings you need to approach the energy consumption problem from many angles. Buy all the florescent bulbs you want you are only going to take away the 20% of heat regular bulbs produce which will be compensated by heaters once the thermostat registers %20 loss of heat from bulbs.
Also hoping people die because they do not turn off the lights is a big energy waster. Dead people never turn the lights off.

Posted by -B- | March 31, 2008 9:59 AM

#16 is correct. Folks who turned off the power for an hour and thus, their heat, on a very chilly day, ended up WASTING power because they had to re-heat their house.


Posted by michael strangeways | March 31, 2008 10:06 AM

when you peel away the facade of peace love and understanding, those hippies are some angry ass motherfuckers.

Posted by brandon | March 31, 2008 10:07 AM

the fixation about URINE is most interesting, hmmmmm

flood time, the rivers are full, hydro plants are maxing out, we do get very clean energy here

of course extra hydro can be sold, sometimes

I did not turn off the lights, I was busy sorting the paper, cans, bottles and sending all organic waste to the compost, diligent recycling of my own and the gutters and my office - every paper scrap, and can or bottle

drama queens who are thinking URINE all the time are not good role models to the public

Posted by Lordsman | March 31, 2008 10:15 AM

I'm on a million enviro lists and though I heard through the press that something like this was going on, I don't think many local groups got on board. I (like a lot of people) would have done it if I knew more details. I wonder if bitchy I, Anonymous emailed all the contacts they had about the event beforehand.

Posted by Gabe Global | March 31, 2008 10:17 AM

#16 is a dumbass. Following this logic, I should turn on all my lights in the winter; what the hell -- I should probably replace those pesky fluorescent bulbs with 120W incandescents. Because the more lights I have on, the more I'll keep my house warm, and the more energy I'll save, right?

Posted by B minus | March 31, 2008 10:19 AM

#11 - good chuckle - but don't push the idea - true believers can go to that extreme

Posted by John | March 31, 2008 10:21 AM

you are the dumb ass - cheap kilowatt rates and heat from lights do make economic sense in the winter if the home is all electric

talk to city light

Posted by John | March 31, 2008 10:28 AM

Here in the PAC NW we have our own version of Earth hour every winter. They're called windstorms and do more to knock down power consumption for multiple hours on multiple days than any "earth Hour" will;)
I wonder if anyone's done the carbon saving calculations on those? "sarcasm off"

Posted by Brian in Seattle | March 31, 2008 10:34 AM

Wait, you mean residential light usage is not the biggest contributor to global warming and that turning off our lights for one hour will not save the planet. The hell you say. /sarcasm

I ignored earth hour like I ignore buy nothing day, stupid email forwards about not buying gas on Tuesdays, and other damn ass nonsense. There are meaningful things one can do to help the environment, but cheap tricks are not one of them. self satisfaction may be that cheap, but real change is not.

Posted by Giffy | March 31, 2008 10:39 AM

True, Brian@24... the 'Erev Hannukah' storm had my family freezing in the dark for SIX DAYS. Winter camping in our own house. Even our guinea pig was cold.

Posted by Karlheinz Arschbomber | March 31, 2008 10:40 AM

@21 Uhh yeah. It is very inefficient to cool down and reheat your house over and over again. That's why when you leave your house, you should only turn down your heat, not turn it off completely. Stop being such a dumbass, and look it up.

And the Earth Hour thing was a cute little stunt, but it wasn't very well publicized around these parts. You can hardly blame people for not participating in all the random little days various organizations insist we all celebrate. It gets confusing after awhile.

Posted by Ashley | March 31, 2008 10:46 AM

Did "Fuck you and slip on urine" come from one of those random insult generators? I am curious though, setting aside the debate as to whether the earth hour helped or not, why it wasn't more widely publicized in Seattle considering we're usually such a hotbed of environmental righteousness.

Posted by PopTart | March 31, 2008 11:02 AM

Earth Hour?

Wasn't on any of the local news ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | March 31, 2008 11:04 AM

Using power = harming the environment?

The question really is how to use all the power we want and more from clean energy sources, like nuclear.

Posted by raindrop | March 31, 2008 11:08 AM
Posted by Giffy | March 31, 2008 11:12 AM


By that logic, you shouldn't turn down the heat at all when you leave.

Sorry folks, you do save some energy when you turn off the heat. To bust out some science, the amount of energy you lose due to radiation is proportional to the temperature difference to the fourth power. The lower the temperature difference, the lower the rate of heat loss. It's just not that big of an effect.

Posted by F | March 31, 2008 11:15 AM

Hey, guys, it was on Google, fer chrissakes. Their page was black for an hour. Uses less juice than white, or so I'm told. If it was really such a good idea, you'd think they'd do it all the time.

You gotta admit, too, that "a thousand volts worth of lamps" is an awful lot for one tiny little apartment. Not sure how they measured it from out on the street, but the rest of the screed was accurate, so I assume they did.

Posted by Fnarf | March 31, 2008 11:17 AM


It was black all day.

Posted by keshmeshi | March 31, 2008 11:20 AM

I took one for the team and turned the hot tub down to 104 degrees from 105 for an hour.

Posted by john cocktosin | March 31, 2008 11:33 AM

@33: Actually, I think Google itself said that the colours a monitor displays doesn't really affect its power consumption, so its black page was meant as a symbolic gesture.

Posted by Gloria | March 31, 2008 11:39 AM

@36: Shit, I'm being a douche again.

Posted by Gloria | March 31, 2008 11:40 AM

PETA members have been known to throw red paint on fur wearers, maybe anonymous should carry a taser and give folks a good jolt when they appear to be over-consuming energy, that would be sure to win the hearts and minds of the general population.

Posted by inkweary | March 31, 2008 11:41 AM

Ha. Excellent idea, inkweary. ZAP!

Posted by leek | March 31, 2008 11:49 AM

Earth hour? Never heard of it. Rather than not use electricity for 1 hour during the entire year, I just have only 1 light on at a time in my apartment at night. I turn things off including the computer when I'm not using them.
I watch the news daily, read the news online daily so that guy who posted to I anonymous can kiss my dimly lit apartment ass because there obviously wasn't much mention.

Posted by D | March 31, 2008 12:00 PM

Was everyone supposed to know about this, or something? What the fuck? When I invent MY day, I'm not going to be half as pissed as this guy when everybody shows up to work in pants.

Posted by Dougsf | March 31, 2008 12:05 PM

The logic behind Earth Hour is hilariously flawed. Even if you turn off your lights the power is still being generated. Turning off your light does not equate to an immediate reduction in generation at a power plant, and here on the west coast where a large fraction of our energy is cleanly-generated (ie: hydroelectric) this is especially true.

Where we should be focusing our efforts is power consumption during the day, not at night. Peak consumption (you know, where a power plant would have to increase capacity to keep up with demand) occurs when everybody's at work, as many leave their appliances & climate control on at home as well.

Reducing our peak consumption (for good, not for an hour) is the way to reduce the environmental impact of current power generation.

Conservation all-around allows more homes and businesses to be powered by the same facilities, however, reducing the need for new generating stations.

@33&36 - On LCD displays, it requires the same amount of energy to display a white/black pixel. On CRT displays, a white pixel requires the most energy to display.

Posted by Tdub | March 31, 2008 12:12 PM

That chick on the cell phone was totally me. You'd leave all your lights on too if your apartment had a mean old ghost of a mental patient named Toby who likes to throw things at your head in the dark when you can't see in time to duck.

Plus I just kind of don't care. So there :P

Posted by Queen_of_Sleaze | March 31, 2008 12:16 PM

My friend participated in this. Of course, she came over here to get drunk during, so really she just turned out the lights when she left the house. (Oh yeah, and then she drove over in her mid-sized luxury car.)

But hey, as long as it makes her feel better and fills her with a false sense of accomplishment...

Posted by Lauren | March 31, 2008 12:26 PM

Magic alligators would probably be the most effective solution to many of our problems.

Posted by brent | March 31, 2008 12:40 PM

We replaced the heat from our lights with candles. But the energy used to make those candles...oh well, the kids enjoyed it; we played board games.

Posted by amazonmidwife | March 31, 2008 12:52 PM

Strictly speaking, all residential units in the U.S. get basically 240 volts service, delivered on two 110 volt legs. Depending on the size of your service, you could have thousands of WATTS of lighting igniting your apartment like the night skies of Mars. But I've never been to Mars, so I can't really say.

Nifty new comment format, by the way. I'm stuck in Iowa and haven't gotten on the internets much. We don't have that many tubes over here in Steve King's district.

Posted by catalina vel-duray | March 31, 2008 1:52 PM

At the treatment center I work at, we have half an hour of news, where they covered how Sydney and some other cities were going black.

The residents really, really wanted to participate... "for the sack of the environment!" Forget that turning off the power also meant all the alarms on their doors would be disarmed... and then they could attack staff in the dark and create a full on riot.

Yeah. We kept the lights on. I know, I'm a selfish prick, but darn it, I wanna live.

Posted by Marty | March 31, 2008 1:57 PM

I'm with #40. Turning off your power for one hour is dumb when you already have extremely low consumption. I run my thermostat at about 55 to keep my plants alive, always just wear a fleece or sweatshirt, and I think I get heat from the apartment below me anyway. I never use lights in my bedroom, ever, and rarely in the bathroom. I berely even use lights in my living room, because two widescreen LCDs keep it lit enough for my taste. If I really need to read something on my desk or on the couch, I turn on one 75W lamp. When I'm in my kitchen, and it's sufficiently dark out, and I'm doing more than getting water or something from the fridge, I turn on a bank of three 75W bulbs. I do run a 750W power supply 24/7, but it's never even close to fully utilized. My city light bill for my last billing cycle (Jan 15 to Mar 15) was $30. I didn't even break into the second pricing tier.

So, yeah, I'm going to take a wild guess and say that I use less power than this douchebag.

I can't help but be amused by people who say "volts" when they're really talking about "watts". 1000V by itself doesn't mean shit. Lamps don't even HAVE voltages, the fucking power source does. I have, oh, 10 wall sockets in my apartment at 110V each for 1100V total, so that means I'm using more power than red dress woman? What a dumbass.

Thanks, that is all.

Posted by w7ngman | March 31, 2008 2:12 PM
Posted by umvue | March 31, 2008 3:14 PM

i think he's referencing but misquoting the xmas song silent night: "slip in heavenly piss." In this case the song would be 'invisible night'

Posted by ellarosa | March 31, 2008 6:45 PM

The problem with saving energy goes far beyond just turning out your lights. Like I mentioned earlier turning out your lights just creates situation where your thermostat in your home will register the 20% heat not being generated by your house lights and it will compensate for it therefore using energy.
So what needs to be understood is each home or building has a different set of circumstances that need to be considered when trying to save energy. An old home built in 1910 will have bad insulation compared to a contemporary home built this year so each home would have to be approached differently when trying to save energy.
Turning of lights sounds like a positive way of saving energy but really it just buys into a simplistic vision that politicians use to buy new votes it is a trend that is not well thought out. Buy all the florescent bulbs you want but try to consider what is going to compensate for the heat your old bulbs generated or you will not save that much energy.
If you live in Australia using florescent bulbs are a great idea because it is hot most of the time all year round. So having florescent bulbs would not add to the heat of your house as much. But in the winter in Seattle heat is needed in your home and you have to consider that old incandescent bulbs do two things they not only produce light they produce heat so getting rid of them in the winter only means your furnace will compensate for the other thing they produce other than light, heat.
In the summer those incandescent bulbs are adding heat you do not need in your home so florescent bulbs would be better but in the winter the incandescent bulb is adding to the comfort of your home. Remove them and your furnace will compensate for the heat you are not thinking about.
So it is far more complicated than just turning off the lights.
Great to be conscious but saving energy is not something solved easily.

Posted by -B- | April 1, 2008 9:33 AM

Maybe, just maybe? The entire post is so freaking intense, because it was meant to spark a discussion? Thats just me. OH, and I agree with everything he/she says. Even the urine bit. Do, please, slip.

Posted by Alex | April 1, 2008 3:12 PM

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