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Monday, March 3, 2008

Breaking News—Kandiss Crone Reporting!

posted by on March 3 at 16:18 PM

No, really—she’s actually reporting!

A few weeks ago Kandiss Crone, Teevee News Reporter, went undercover on the mean streets of Jackson, Mississippi. Her assignment: Bust a Jackson-area adult bookstore that was selling “three dimensional devices,” a.k.a. vibrators and dildos, which are illegal in Mississippi and three other states.

Or were illegal. Shortly after Crone filed her first report—which was shortly after the Jackson Police Department told her it had better things to do than bust adult bookstores and shortly before I encouraged readers of “Savage Love” to send Crone their used sex toys for safe disposal—the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that Texas couldn’t toss people in jail for two years for selling “obscene devices” because that would violate the 14th Amendment and our right to privacy.

Well, I somehow missed Crone’s February 20 follow-up report. The teevee news journalist informed her viewers that, in the wake of the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruling, it was now legal to sell three dimensional devices in Mississippi. Take it away, Kandiss

Selling sex toys in Mississippi may not get you in trouble anymore.

That’s because the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled the Texas law banning the sale of the devices violates your constitutional right to privacy. Professor Matthew Steffey from Mississippi College School of Law says since the court’s ruling has binding authority in Mississippi, it will be nearly impossible to enforce the Magnolia state’s current law against sex toy sales.

Jackson residents we spoke with say Mississippi’s law is absurd, given the fact that this state is only one of four where selling such adult items is a crime.

It’s too bad that Kandiss didn’t speak to some of those sensible, level-headed Jackson residents before filing her first report. Crone’s initial report, you’ll recall, was crude and sensationalistic and stopped just short of demanding that the police raid Jackson’s adult bookstore, seize their illegal stock of vibrators, and execute the store’s owner. Had Kandiss included a few of those comments in her first report—what’s that called again? oh, yeah: balance—then maybe I wouldn’t have blown my stack, published Crone’s email address ( in my column, and encouraged my readers to send her angry letters (and expired dildos). A comment or two from sex educators about the heath benefits of using sex toys would’ve rounded the report out nicely. (And for the record: Mississippi’s ban on sex toys wasn’t absurd because the state was only one of four that banned their sale. Even if all fifty states banned the sale of sex toys, Kandiss, Mississippi’s law would still be stupid, unenforceable, and, thanks to Lawrence v. Texas, unconstitutional.)

Still, it’s nice to see that Kandiss Crone, Teevee News Reporter, filed a follow-up—and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that her second report was more balanced. I think all the angry letters sent to Crone by “Savage Love” readers, which can be read here (scroll down), had an impact. Good work, gang.

RSS icon Comments


And as I alluded to in the previous post, presumably this also means her crack-addled assignment editor (the one who no doubt either gave her the story in the first place, or worse, accepted her pitch for the story) got the message as well.

Remember kids, AE's can be just as stoopeed as the reporters they supervise...

Posted by COMTE | March 3, 2008 4:55 PM

All three-dimensional devices offend me. Seriously.

Posted by Michigan Matt (soon to be Baltimatt) | March 3, 2008 4:57 PM

I don't think you understand how local TV news works. "Balanced" doesn't enter into it; sensation is everything. Just because they found a way to talk about dildoes again doesn't mean they're being balanced. Kandiss Crone doesn't even know what's going on; she just reads the magic words off the prompter when the light goes on.

Posted by Fnarf | March 3, 2008 4:59 PM

aw man, leave her alone. she probably got sent out there to do the original story by her boss. find out who that is & let them get the savage love abuse.

Posted by max solomon | March 3, 2008 5:04 PM

Are there non-3D devices available? Physicists should descend upon Mississippi immediately to investigate. Perhaps they can teach some basic science courses while they are there.

Posted by violet_dagrinder | March 3, 2008 5:17 PM

Well I sure am happy that got resolved. Now we can go back to arguing about fat people and pit bulls.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | March 3, 2008 5:30 PM

Fnarf, she appears to be a field reporter, not an anchor, so at a small-market station like this, that means she also probably has to write her own copy, in addition to doing the remotes; and you gots no teleprompters out in the field - just a clipboard, and a camera op to back you up.

Posted by COMTE | March 3, 2008 8:29 PM

This is really a Slog post calling for balanced journalism? Really?

Posted by PA Native | March 4, 2008 9:20 AM

This is a Slog post calling for MSM journalists to hold themselves to the high standards they're always bragging about having. That is all.

Posted by Dan Savage | March 4, 2008 2:44 PM

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