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Monday, February 18, 2008

Millard Fillmore, I Love You

posted by on February 18 at 10:14 AM

Today is one of Value Village’s many 50%-off sales, this one because a bunch of American presidents have been born and then died. I was really excited about working at The Stranger for many reasons, and one of those reasons was the proximity to a Value Village.

The whole Value Village shopping experience is magical: Easy listening music, including songs you may not have heard since the late eighties! Six t-shirts and two pairs of pants for 18 bucks*! Crazy old men wandering around wearing Tommy Hilfiger sweats two sizes too big! Women faking orgasms over purple faux-silk tops!


Forget those semi-nude Lindsay Lohan pictures, this is the story of the day. There are still plenty of Christian Youth Group t-shirts to be bought, so get to it.

* In honor of a friend of mine, though, a warning: For God’s sake, launder that shit before you wear it. This is more than just a simple hygiene issue.

RSS icon Comments


Sorry to burst your bubble, but the LiLo photos certainly made my day.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | February 18, 2008 10:23 AM

Couldn't disagree w/ you more, 5280. I used to like La Lohan, but these photos almost made me renounce my heterosexuality (boy would Inga have been surprised!)

Posted by Big Sven | February 18, 2008 10:34 AM

Mr. Constant,

Your girlfriend looks like The Joker when she fakes her orgasms?



Posted by Big Sven | February 18, 2008 10:36 AM

OK, first you give up on Hillary, and now you don't like Lindsay. Where is Big Sven and what have you done with him?

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | February 18, 2008 10:41 AM

The sales are not because "a bunch of American presidents have been born and then died." - thank Jebus! The federal holiday is Washington's Birthday. The sales are because the one guy was born and then died. A distinction of the utmost importance, to me at least.

Posted by umvue | February 18, 2008 10:48 AM

I love the smell of creosote in the morning.

Posted by Paulus | February 18, 2008 10:48 AM

I will never walk in there.

Posted by Mr. Poe | February 18, 2008 10:56 AM

Big Sven, whassmatta, you don't like freckles?

Posted by pox | February 18, 2008 10:58 AM

that place smells like ass and charbroiled poverty.

Posted by adrian! | February 18, 2008 11:02 AM

I love thrift store shopping but the Value Village by The Stranger offices has a the most distinct (read unpleasant) odor of all of the Western Washington VVs. It is something like a combination of moth balls, sweaty balls, stale perform and body odor. Long live the downtown VV!

Posted by Suz | February 18, 2008 11:04 AM

It's not Washington's Birthday, it's Presidents Day, as in multiple Presidents -- Lincoln and Washington, to be precise, but the others have snuck into the group photo too. Today we honor Warren Gamaliel Harding and George W. Bush! Hip hip!

Posted by Fnarf | February 18, 2008 11:12 AM

Funny. Lindsey Lohan usually does good things for my penis. I feel like I just crawled out of the pool.

Posted by Jason Josephes | February 18, 2008 11:14 AM


You wouldn't happen to have her number, would you?


P.S. I'd go for the blond, too.

Posted by w7ngman | February 18, 2008 11:24 AM

you all are nuts. LiLo's guns are NICE!

Posted by Mike in MO | February 18, 2008 11:33 AM

you know what this calls for? dina martina's 'the presidents day song' - you can find it by searching in the stranger's archives....

i think if we get through our hectic day here (in the elections office) i might just have to blare it when we finally get to leave....

Posted by jezbian | February 18, 2008 11:34 AM

you know what this calls for? dina martina's 'the presidents day song' - you can find it by searching in the slog archives....

i think if we get through our hectic day here (in the elections office) i might just have to blare it when we finally get to leave....

Posted by jezbian | February 18, 2008 11:35 AM

Those LiLo pics have all the charm of autopsy photos. Which they kind of are, preemptively.

I do like them better than yesterday's graffiti "Photo of the Day", though.

Posted by Big Sven | February 18, 2008 11:38 AM

The Value Village on the hill has declined in quality to the point that it's rarely worth going there.

They seemingly fired a bunch of workers there so now there's typically a long wait to pay for your stuff. Often I've waited in line longer than I spent looking around the store.

The clothing prices have gone way up. Please let me see the 8 clothing pieces you got for $18. The t-shirts, etc I've recently looked at have been $5 and up.

VV continues to have whack book prices. For most books, the price is determined by the original price of the book, which is a ridiculous system to go by. A popular hardcover from a few years ago (of which there are millions of copies out there) will cost a lot more than a rare paperback from the '50s. (Some "nicer" books though are individually priced up higher.) That's why a lot of their books are never sold (and then they dump them by selling in bulk to other businesses, etc.).

Posted by stinkbug | February 18, 2008 11:52 AM

Scabies!? Gross. I was planning on hitting up that sale, but now I'm going to feel like things are crawling on me the whole time I'm in there.

The Lindsay Lohan pictures were disappointing. Her body is in no way evocative of Marilyn Monroe; where's the shape? Her form reminds me of two water balloons taped to a ruler. They say she has "returned to her voluptuousness," but all I see is titties. I think Charles would agree that an ideal figure involves hips,as well.

Posted by Aislinn | February 18, 2008 11:54 AM

pedantry alert

The feds:

"The birthday of George Washington, military leader of the American Revolution and first President of the United States, has been a legal holiday since 1885. It was originally celebrated each February 22. The Uniform Holidays Act, passed by Congress in 1968 to take effect in 1971, fixed the holiday on a Monday. As a number of states also celebrated the February 12 birthday of Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth President, some legislators advocated combining the two events into a single holiday. The final legislation retained the Washington's Birthday holiday but many Americans now call the holiday "Presidents' Day," believing the change to Mondays was intended to honor both Washington and Lincoln or all Presidents."

The state of WA:

"The following are legal holidays: ...the third Monday of February to be known as Presidents' Day and to be celebrated as the anniversary of the births of Abraham Lincoln and George Washington..."

Posted by umvue | February 18, 2008 11:56 AM


There's a DOWNTOWN VV?

And some of the aroma at the CapHill VV no doubt lingers from its days as REI's original store - sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between sweaty old street persons and sweaty young mountain bikers.

Posted by COMTE | February 18, 2008 12:36 PM

If I knew any Dutch I'd be celebrating Martin van Buren, but alas.

Posted by Abby | February 18, 2008 1:22 PM

Those "Christian Youth Group t-shirts" are the BEST. Usually worn once and then donated. Perfect for ironic layers!

Posted by Katelyn | February 18, 2008 2:51 PM

I'm related to Millard Filmore!!

Posted by catnextdoor | February 18, 2008 3:00 PM


My late SO used to give me seven kinds of shit about buying clothes there or at any second-hand store. "What if somebody DIED in that?" he'd say. "Well, then they don't need this FINE shirt for only $2.99," I'd say.

I just canNOT see spending $35-$40 for a shirt. That's just plain highway robbery of the first magnitude.

I will not, however, buy pants there because they have no fitting rooms. I can find decent Dockers-style pants at Wal Mart for about $14. I don't find that price too hard to swallow, although it does mean I have to actually go in to a Wal Mart.

Posted by Wolf | February 18, 2008 4:09 PM

OK, the first part of the message got cut off. It said:

I (heart) VV, and my nearby Salvation Army store rocks out loud as well. They even have an antiques and collectibles department.

Carry on.

Posted by Wolf | February 18, 2008 4:14 PM

Is it possible that LiLo actually looks more haggard and near death than Marilyn did?

Well, not her boobs...those will obviously live on longer than anyone currently alive...but in her face (and yes, she DOES HAVE A FACE, guys...)

Posted by pgreyy | February 18, 2008 6:02 PM

I remember meeting Lindsay at a party once, before all these negative things came out, and before ... um ... her boobs got a lot bigger but not her bum.

Don't know what to think about it, but at least she doesn't have kids right now.

Being a child star can really mess up your life, as we obviously all now realize.

Posted by Will in Seattle | February 19, 2008 12:38 AM

Me and all my friends got scabies once on a road trip...
it was the grossest thing that's ever happened.

Posted by Carly D. | February 19, 2008 1:12 PM

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