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Thursday, February 28, 2008

It’s Funny ’Cause It’s True

posted by on February 28 at 13:11 PM

This just in from Slog Tipper Steve: “Today I found a piece of paper taped to the door of the now-closed Café Minnie’s at 1st and Denny. This is what it read.”

Dear Customers,

We are sad to announce that we will no longer be able to treat you like the piece of crap that you are. We regret that we will no longer be able to make you wait for 15 minutes at the door before seating you. We will miss not taking your order until you’ve been here an hour. We will miss disappearing for twenty minutes without having to explain ourselves. It’s not because we really liked hanging out here, but you annoying customers just got in the way. We were busy with our music, our conversations, and our smoke breaks and you customers just never seemed to understand: we hate you!

For those few remaining customers that we could not piss off enough, we have decided to close because we just can’t stand serving you anymore.


RSS icon Comments


sad thing is - this note could be taped to the door at almost any dining establishment in Seattle.

Posted by same ol' | February 28, 2008 1:19 PM

I just remembered why I stopped going there about eight years ago. As far as I know, they're still fixing the sandwich I ordered...

I guess it'll never be ready now.

Posted by flamingbanjo | February 28, 2008 1:26 PM

@1, you beat me to it.

But honesty is refreshing in business. Starbucks should post the same sign in their stores as well!

Posted by Andrew | February 28, 2008 1:27 PM

What balls the writer has, taping the note to the diner after it's closed. If we're not the passive-aggressive capital of the world, who is?

Posted by Jason Josephes | February 28, 2008 1:28 PM

@4, How dare you? We're just going to have to create a task force to look into that.

Posted by Spoogie | February 28, 2008 1:32 PM

@1, @3 -- I think it's interesting that I've never received bad service in a restaurant, here or elsewhere, but I have many, many times watched other people around me receive it. Why do you think that is?

Posted by Fnarf | February 28, 2008 1:38 PM

@6 - Wicked burn

Posted by El Jefe | February 28, 2008 1:39 PM

Yup, that's why I was pretty glad to see Minnie's leave Broadway, and am not sad to see it leave Belltown, as well. Fuck them and their garlic potatoes. The tomato soup was the only reason to go there anyway...

Posted by NaFun | February 28, 2008 1:40 PM

This is very true, or at least it was the last time any of my friends went to Minnie's.

Posted by Will in Seattle | February 28, 2008 1:41 PM

I should have done this to 1200 Bistro.

Posted by Mr. Poe | February 28, 2008 1:42 PM

It's because your shining karmic radiance emanates out to servers making them shower you with good service, while others fail to emit the right karmic rays.
On a bigger scale, this is why orphans die in Bolivia and women who look at guys are stoned in Saudia Arabia, too. They just didn't read the Law of Attraction / Calvinism screeds about the they deserve what they get. Other side of same coin: you deserve your good fortune, and better service, too!

Posted by Attractant | February 28, 2008 1:44 PM

Minnie's should have died long before it did. I guess there are a bunch of masochistic diners in Seattle who didn't have the desire to go somewhere that served good food with a good attitude.

Osteria la Spiga will meet the same fate eventually and then we can turn that magnificent space into a cool gay bar!

Posted by NotTheSameSteve | February 28, 2008 1:46 PM

@6 It's all the BJs.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | February 28, 2008 1:56 PM

Did you also notice the sign redirecting patrons to the Hurricane? FTW!

Posted by Anon | February 28, 2008 2:11 PM

Has anyone heard what's going in there? The windows have all been covered for a while so I can't tell if anything is happening.

Posted by D | February 28, 2008 2:22 PM

I heard it's reopening as a similar, American-style type of place.

Posted by Liston | February 28, 2008 2:39 PM

Speaking of 1200 Bistro...

I saw a guy in there the other day walking around the space with some sort of deSIGNer (as Tim Gunn would say). Fabric or wallpaper swatches in hand.

Does anyone know what's coming there?

Posted by HL | February 28, 2008 2:42 PM

@6 - It's because you say "No Worries" whenever they make a mistake, and they are so ecstatic that you didn't tear them a new one, you get fantastic service for the duration.

@16 - Hopefully minus the tweaker servers.

Posted by Mahtli69 | February 28, 2008 2:45 PM


Posted by laterite | February 28, 2008 2:46 PM

And this is different from every other "hip" establishment in town how? We seem to have a plethora of service personnel in this town who are far too cool to trouble themselves with waiting on lowly customers.

Posted by Series of Tubes | February 28, 2008 2:56 PM

Bring back the automat.

Posted by michael strangeways | February 28, 2008 3:09 PM

Automats are cool.

Posted by Will in Seattle | February 28, 2008 3:14 PM

I work at this soul sucking establishment for 5 long years,the most stressful restaurant job I ever had.The only reason anyone stayed there was the 100-300 $$$ a night. Kudos to the author but I doubt they know exactly how many levels of funny because its true their note was.

Posted by Fin | February 28, 2008 3:32 PM

The servers at the Taco Del Mar in Pioneer Square always treat me great.

Posted by Medina | February 28, 2008 3:39 PM

@20: Or the problem that this town offers up such a plethora of asshole customers who are blind to the fact that they are not the only people in the restaurant and as such they expect their service staff to offer them up the world on a solid gold platter while getting their shoes shined and their asses wiped... All for a whopping 10% tip...

Sweet! Now maybe they can afford to move into that gorgeous new barely-soggy cardboard produce box that they just tossed in the dumpster behind the QFC on Braodway! You are practically a saint oh high and mighty restaurant patron!

Posted by Queen_of_Sleaze | February 28, 2008 3:39 PM

@18 is closest.

I genuinely like restaurant servers, appreciate how difficult their job is and how hard they work at it, and treat them with friendly easy-going respect. The world's not going to come to an end if they misheard something or my coffee is a minute late. A smile goes a long ways, too.

Posted by Fnarf | February 28, 2008 4:19 PM

That tomato soup pulled me through many a hangover.

Posted by Lauren | February 28, 2008 5:06 PM

Let us have a moment of silence to honor the tasty goodness that was Minnie's Tomato Soup.
Thank you.

Posted by Mmm mmm good | February 28, 2008 11:35 PM

" I guess there are a bunch of masochistic diners in Seattle who didn't have the desire to go somewhere that served good food with a good attitude."

And where might that be in this "world class city" at 3AM?

Posted by K X One | February 29, 2008 12:00 AM

I'm going to miss the omelettes.

@24, the only person where with good service is the owner. He's perpetually bossing the other employees around because they just don't get it. One time one of the guys there stopped in the middle of my burrito to take a personal phone call. When he returned, he didn't change his gloves after manhandling the phone handset. The owner caught it before I said anything, told him to change his gloves and wadded up my tortilla and got me another one. To this day, all that guys does is steam tortillas. No doubt for a reason.

Posted by Joe | February 29, 2008 1:11 PM

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