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Monday, February 11, 2008

Have You Seen These Dildos?

posted by on February 11 at 14:43 PM


Boylston and E Pike
Capitol Hill

Early last Friday, someone shattered the front window at Capitol Hill’s Babeland, and stole (dildo-napped?) twenty glass dildos in the store’s Valentine’s Day display, valued at over $1500.


With Valentine’s Day on the way, the timing of the dildo heist seems unsurprising. However, Babeland’s Retail Director Jen May doesn’t believe the crime was related to the upcoming holiday. “I think the hill is experiencing a little crime spree,” she says. May says nothing like this has ever happened at the store before.

A quick search on Ebay and Craigslist did not reveal any sort of dildo black market, and it seems unlikely that anyone would have a use for so many sex toys, so please let Babeland know if anyone on the street offers to sell you a deeply discounted glass dong.

RSS icon Comments


20 dildos (not even vibes) @ $1500???

Posted by phallus | February 11, 2008 2:50 PM

The glass ones are pricey.

Posted by Ziggity | February 11, 2008 2:51 PM

"I think the hill is esperiencing a little crime spree" YOU FUCKING THINK??!!

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | February 11, 2008 2:55 PM

All I'm sayin' is, dudes, and babes, don't put glass in there. Just...don't.

Posted by Mr. Poe | February 11, 2008 3:01 PM

Didn't Laced-up, their neighbor, recently have their window smashed out too?

Posted by 3rd floor | February 11, 2008 3:01 PM

It kinda looks like an abomination that Dale Chihuly and Keith Haring might have co-created.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | February 11, 2008 3:02 PM

Um, I could see taking one or two ... but twenty?

Meanwhile assault spree in the U Dist ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | February 11, 2008 3:12 PM

Maybe they were protesting the shitting window displays that they have now. The old displays were so much better. I would walk several blocks out of my way just to see what they would have in their window. I would bring friends from out of town by there. Now... pfft.

Posted by JC | February 11, 2008 3:12 PM

It's a crime wave not a crime spree.

Also, the dildo underground is way to savvy for ebay and craigslist. Those ruffians are far more sophisticated thank you take them for. Known for using coded entries in the classifieds, an elaborate array of gestures and signals as well as a very fragmented network of agents and fences to mobilize their fabled silent ecomnomy. Indsiders say that iIt's been nearly impossible to supress their activities on a significant scale.

The protuberance industry is going to have to come together (no tantric) and work hand in hand (no puppy love) to address this new mencace.

Posted by Ask Me Anything | February 11, 2008 3:13 PM

@7: With flagrant robbery, why stop at one or two?

Posted by Gloria | February 11, 2008 3:14 PM

Mr. Poe sums up my thoughts.

Posted by Paulus | February 11, 2008 3:30 PM

I was buying a vibe last fri and i saw the busted window i just figured petty vandalism, damn that sucks

Posted by vooodooo84 | February 11, 2008 5:44 PM

1) glass dildos are not dangerous. They are one of the safest materials (in terms of safer sex) and like anything you put in your body, you should examine it before use. Common sense would say that if you notice any cracks or chips, don't use it. That said, they're pretty tough little fuckers (pun intended) and don't break easily.

2)If by "nothing like this has ever happened before", they mean the window hasn't been smashed, then yeah, that's accurate. But the store's been looted before, several times. And specifically was robbed about 6 or 7 years ago, with the thieves entering through an open transom window.

Posted by formerbabe | February 11, 2008 6:20 PM

When Rev. Hutchinson Attacks!!

Posted by Cato | February 11, 2008 6:36 PM


You need to take a trip to the ER, dude. Regardless of how 'safe' it is, you can never be too safe with glass in your ass (or pussy). Likely to ever break? No. But if it did, you would be one sorry motherfucker.

Posted by Mr. Poe | February 12, 2008 8:08 AM

First of all- I highly doubt anyone has ever been hurt by using a glass dildo. They're not HOLLOW, they pretty fucking heavy and very solid. (I'm sure Dan can back me up on this.)

Second- that really bums me out. Why not break into fucking Castle? My dad told me a long time ago, when I stole a neighborhood-paid for speed limit sign that if I was to ever steal, steal from the Man, not my neighbors.

They run a legitimate, neighborly business. Sorry Babes.

Posted by catnextdoor | February 12, 2008 8:15 AM

Get the fuck over it JC! (#8) Where else are you going to buy your stuff? I can't even comprehend that being your only reaction to the vandalization of a beloved, local, small business. And the window displays they had the other people doing got progressively shitty over time. I wouldn't have had them doing my displays either. I think they've had some cute ones up lately. I hope you get a yeast infection from crappy lube you buy at Rite Aid.

Posted by XX | February 12, 2008 1:51 PM


Dan isn't that stupid. In fact, Dan isn't stupid. He would grant you permission to use glass, but not without fair warning. It isn't a matter of what's likely to happen and what's not, it's a matter of what could happen.

A lot of people do a lot of stupid things. I'd be surprised if Dan has every a-o.k.'d glass dongs without caution.

Posted by Mr. Poe | February 12, 2008 2:50 PM

Mr. Poe - do you only do things that Dan Ok's? I mean - do you expect to have the car salesman warn you that bridges may be more slippery than the rest of the road in cold weather before they sell you a car? or maybe does the waitress warn you to check the edges of the cup she just handed you to make sure there are no chips for fear you may cut your lip? common sense people - maybe don't hump your class dildo on a concert floor or say, use it if it has a big crack in it. but unless you are superman or wonder woman, the power of your muscles (even during an orgasm) are not going to break a glass dildo or butt plug.

Posted by ann | February 12, 2008 3:11 PM

I'm not sure how hard Jonah searched for a dildo black market on Ebay, but there are currently 269 glass dongs for sale there. I didn't see any matches on a quick inspection, but someone who knows the missing toys a little more, er, intimately might see something that I missed.

Posted by Exile in West Seattle | February 17, 2008 1:09 PM

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