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Friday, January 18, 2008

You Suck — Here’s a Raise!

posted by on January 18 at 11:48 AM

The Seattle Mariners have agreed to a one year, $2.75 million deal with pitcher Horatio Ramirez. Yes, that Ramirez, he of the atrocious 7.16 ERA in 20 games. Last year Ramirez made $2.65 million.

Looks like U.S.S. Mariners’ countdown of days without a stupid Mariners move is over.

Update: In the comments, “bing” notes: “seems silly but that’s how arbitration works.” True, but still…ugh. Anybody got a flux capacitor so we can go back in time and stop Ramirez from joining the team in the first place?

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With this logic, we can give the Sonics a new stadium!

Posted by Mr. Poe | January 18, 2008 12:00 PM

this is why the mariners will not be in the playoffs for years to come.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | January 18, 2008 12:00 PM

HoRam has performance clauses in his contract. Ha!

Posted by Postureduck | January 18, 2008 12:01 PM

seems silly but that's how arbitration works. you'd rather that money go to the owners?

Posted by bing | January 18, 2008 12:13 PM

In related news, Bud Selig just got a big five year thumbs-up from baseball owners yesterday for doing such a great job policing the sport.

Posted by baseballisover | January 18, 2008 12:26 PM

In related news, CEOs are receiving even larger pay packages as their firms shrink in size ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | January 18, 2008 12:57 PM

With the continued lack of pitching in MLB, HoRam's a cubic zirconia back-up plan with a decent chance sliding onto one of the M's 5 fingers.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | January 18, 2008 1:10 PM

call rocket and get him some roids with that extra cash, HORAM sucks major schlong, he makes Bobby Ayala look like Mariano Rivera. We need juiced pitchers, juiced hitters, lets make baseball fun again.

Posted by SeMe | January 18, 2008 1:44 PM

it would probably take more more to pay for 1.21 jigawatts from seattle utilities than it would to just pay the damn guy.

Posted by Cale | January 18, 2008 2:01 PM


Posted by madamecrow | January 18, 2008 3:13 PM

They could have just declined to offer arbitration. There are about 3-4 guys in Tacoma that could easily out-do HoRam.

Posted by Gomez | January 18, 2008 11:18 PM

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