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Thursday, January 31, 2008

Seattle? We’ll Travel Anywhere for Our Celebrity Sightings!

posted by on January 31 at 12:22 PM

An urgent communiqué has just reached me from the border!

Hey Adrien-

I cant have my real name attached to this because I’m in the business and don’t want it to bite me in the ass later- BUT!

I was at a party for the upcoming movie “Game” last night, in New Mexico where they filmed it. It stars the hunky, almost grossly buff Gerard Butler and Amber Valletta. Throughout the night you could tell that there might be a spark between the two—-she grabbed him, yanked him over to the side street and they fought, kissed, then he left with her.

Oh man, probably the best celebrity sighting ever. Might I add, she’s married with kids?

Princesses Quetzequotal Jones
(Not her real name.)

Gerard Butler? You jest! Amber Valletta? No kidding! In New Mexico? Astonishing! (The old Mexico wasn’t good enough for ya? Republican.)

I’m so lost. And apparently my name is “Adrien” now.

Heaven give me strength.

Thanks, “Princess!” Thanks,!


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Game: Set in a future-world where humans can control other humans in mass-scale, multi-player online gaming environments, a star player (Butler) from a game called "Slayers" looks to regain his independence while taking down the game's mastermind (Hall).

Fuuuuuuuuuuck! That sounds so fucking terrible! WOOT! Now that Butler has some scandal on his name, maybe it will open a window to another scandal that could be legitimately deemed "the best celebrity sighting ever". Since, you know, right now nobody really cares about him or her. Speaking of this Amber, she appears to be battling Angelina Jolie for worst actress filmography of all time. I think this scandal has only accomplished one thing, and that thing happens to be a question.

Five years from now, who will be the Queen of Shit? Amber, or Angelina? Hmmm...

Posted by Mr. Poe | January 31, 2008 12:42 PM

This. Is. SPARTA.

Posted by Will/HA | January 31, 2008 1:02 PM

Now where did I put that well ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | January 31, 2008 1:34 PM

i think the Stranger just needs to go all the way and have a cute little map graphic like Defamer so we can pinpoint these sightings...

i wanna know where jean enersen, kenny g, tom skerrit and pa-chihuly are at all times of the day and night. oh, and 'julie mccoy', 'les nesman' and 'the professor' from gilligan's island, too...

and gerard butler...ditto.

Posted by michael strangeways | January 31, 2008 1:44 PM


Posted by Non | January 31, 2008 2:06 PM

@ 5
do NOT "perez" me, bitch. i will so slap your ass to the ground.

Posted by adrian | January 31, 2008 2:44 PM

@ 4
kenny g is crashing an airplane, chihuly is polishing his eye, julie mccoy is serving cheese at QFC, the professor has fallen and he can't get up, and i don't know what jean ennersen is doing, but it's not shoplifiting. that's for damn sure.

Posted by adrian! | January 31, 2008 2:47 PM

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