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Saturday, January 5, 2008

LaRouche Bags

posted by on January 5 at 20:20 PM


Not all politically-active young people are working for Obama. Local LaRouchies were outside of Nordstrom on Pine today singing, um, impeachment carols, I guess. Which chromosome do you have to be missing to dedicate your life to Lyndon LaRouche?

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and such a lost cause, at that. how many years has larouche been trying to get elected? before some of those fools were born?

Posted by ellarosa | January 5, 2008 8:43 PM

which is worse? a "LaRouche Bag" or a Paultard?

Posted by konstantConsumer | January 5, 2008 9:00 PM

I was in Magnolia the other day and saw this beautiful young brown-skinned woman standing behind a folding table covered with a stacks of LaRouche literature. She tried to get my attention, but I simply could not make eye contact with her. It was a weird scene I could not understand. Why LaRouche? Aren't there any better choices available to her?

Posted by Jim Demetre | January 5, 2008 9:07 PM

As I've heard it, the LaRouchies are brainwashed. quite seriously, they belong to a cult and they have trouble questioning what they're told by the Larouche organizers.

Posted by anonymouse | January 5, 2008 9:13 PM

cult members indeed

Posted by Bellevue Ave | January 5, 2008 9:30 PM

I prefer to call them LaRouchenozzles.

And what is it with so many of them being young and attractive? Maybe they're vampires...

Posted by Obamaniac | January 5, 2008 9:37 PM

He's been "running" for president off and on since the mid-1970s, I think. Long before these yokels were born. LaRouche ran for president when he was in Federal Prison. I fully expect him to continue to run for president from beyond the grave. And he'll still manage to somehow find a handful of nutjob supporters.

Posted by Reverse Polarity (formerly SDA in SEA) | January 5, 2008 9:38 PM

LaRouche himself is 85 now. It'll be interesting to see what happens to the cult after he finally passes away.

Scott McLemee of the group-blog Crooked Timber occasionally blogs about the weird details of the Larouche cult -- it makes for fascinating reading, in a trainwreck kind of way.

Posted by Doctor Memory | January 5, 2008 9:44 PM

This never would have happened if Frederick & Nelson were still in business.

Posted by catalina vel-duray | January 5, 2008 9:51 PM

Don't forget: The First Amendment was created for them, and for people like them.

Posted by dafydd | January 5, 2008 10:01 PM

Fuck you dudes.

Posted by Tsongas / Medellin '08 | January 5, 2008 11:37 PM

X and Y.

Posted by Vitalis | January 5, 2008 11:51 PM

Dan, did you ever stop to think that maybe the difference between you and theLaRouchies is they spend time trying to connect with people around them rather than tapping away at the computer alone with smug satisfaction.

I've NEVER spoken to these people, but every time I see them I make eye contact and smile. Just enough attention to reinforce their motivation and keep at it.

What these people realize; what makes freedom of speech and representative democracy so neat, is that they people can throw their support behind someone they believe in regardless of his chances to actually winning an election, and people like you can secretly/openly deride their idealism, so that people like me can come on here and call you an asshole.

I suppose that people who support bill richardson must be genetically deficient because he has little to no chance of actually being president?

Posted by Super Jesse | January 6, 2008 1:59 AM

I walked by them today. Twice.

I laughed today. Twice.

Posted by Mr. Poe | January 6, 2008 2:05 AM

It must suck to have tourette's.

Posted by fuck | January 6, 2008 4:47 AM

We don't have LaRouchies here. Must be just a Seattle thing.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | January 6, 2008 6:55 AM

Have any of you EVER read any of the publications they have? I did ONCE. Gheezuz they write over the top of the heads of most Americans. It's no wonder people fear them. To get more followers they will have to dumb-down their publications. They actually quote Ancient Greek thinkers! Keeeeerist!

Posted by Sargon Bighorn | January 6, 2008 7:50 AM

"Connect with the people". Now that's rich.

I'll tell you how these folks connect with the people. I was walking down Pine with my 82 year old mother over Thanksgiving when of them walks up to us and asks "Do you want to know about how Dick Cheney is fucking the American people up the ass?" (or something to that effect. I know for sure ass fucking was used in some sort of manner)

That is not the kind of language one uses with Mother Vel-DuRay - she's old school, and feels strongly that intelligent people don't need to swear, especally in the vicinity of nice stores (unless it's her doing the swearing, of course. Sometimes, when she thinks it's just her and the washing machine, you'd think she was raised in a saloon. She hates laundry day).

The young man was lucky he didn't get a purse upside his head. (That was reserved for me when I told him to get the fuck aways from us) and I hate to think what would have transpired if she had happened to have a soapy washcloth with her.

I will never hear the end of our little experience with the larouchies.

Posted by catalina vel-duray | January 6, 2008 8:28 AM

I know for one they think Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II runs the world's drug trade, but I'll be goddamned if, at one of her summer garden parties at Buckingham Palace a couple years ago, they didn't even put out WEED!

Forget silver salvers of X, G, K and T...and horse? Not even a clean needle!

Larouche is way off base, man.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | January 6, 2008 8:31 AM

I know one of them called me an asshole once when I ignored them in Westlake Center and refused to take the literature they were shoving in my face. Great way to recruit people to your cause!

Posted by RainMan | January 6, 2008 8:52 AM

i'm a fan of cults, somewhat zelig-like. was a woody allen disciple at one time, then hitchcock, etc.

the LaRouch-y Federalist paperisn't that terrible. probably just as whack as the Stranger's propaganda.

i think the new cult is Stoicism.
Do you remember,
when Bill Clinton's soundbyte writers fed that one to the press?
Yeah, before the Lewinsky meltdown, I thought Free Willy was ok, him and his bedtime reading Meditations of Marcus Aurelius.
Absolutely perfect for leading this cute hellhole country into more depression, angst, mudsliningingslingblade and worship.

Posted by Shon BEE Kemp | January 6, 2008 9:39 AM

I want to use some of that LaRouche Kool-Aid for my own personal gain. Where can I score some?

Posted by Jason Josephes | January 6, 2008 10:07 AM

cult or rabid political cell - they are VERY homophobic.

tell they in a shouting voice that you are a FLAMING fag, proud of it and want to date the young cute ones.

then, KICK their table over and walk on with a pronounced swish and great purpose. Don't look back.

I used to do it on Broadway years ago - they have been collecting change and spouting off for a very long time

they hate Bush and Cheney, God, it feels strange to be in agreement on anything.

Posted by JESUS GOMEZ | January 6, 2008 11:53 AM

Hey, what is it with you Jesuses and your propensity to upend tables?

I'll tell you what, Jesus: I'd rather try to show them they should respect me as a gay man because I have common decency and scruples, not by being a stupid, overwrought snap queen who destroys their personal property.

You're an embarrassment, dude.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | January 6, 2008 11:57 AM

Other cities may not have LaRouchies, but they have plenty of other crazies. Ever had a run-in with the Twelve Tribes of Israel in New York? Such a group of charming young gentlemen. I bet the LaRouchies saw Seattle as virgin territory and moved right in.

Posted by keshmeshi | January 6, 2008 1:30 PM


oh, Dude.

you are so sweet, in the face of rank homophobia, bet you would go to the ovens wondering why being nice just didn't work.

by the way, they quit working Broadway for years, cause the response was not welcoming. (and I think the Goodwill card table survived fine)

And a poser with the name Cornball, dares to mock Jesus? Hey, hey, ho.

Posted by JESUS GOMEZ | January 6, 2008 1:53 PM

@26 -- No, I'd go to the ovens emptying every last bullet out of my gun into the heads of whomever was trying to take me.

But I can discern a slight difference between innocuous (brainwashed) goofballs at a card table who may or may not proactively make a snide comment to me, and the jackbooted forces of a fascist dictatorship.

But that's just me.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | January 6, 2008 1:58 PM

lyndon larouche rocks!!!

Posted by bangbus | January 6, 2008 2:20 PM

You can be on any corner of this city trying to re-elect bush, or trying to get me to buy a mattress and I'll honk at you and wave. I honk and wave at anybody holding any kind of signage for whatever cause (I even honked at the cult of the monorail when that kool aid was in our water). I'll even honk at those crazy "all fags are going to hell" people. I am equal opportunity honking baby! I figure that if you stand outside all day, you deserve my faked support.

For whatever reason, I never honked at these guys. Since I stopped driving, I never take their flyers either. Maybe I should start. Just to encourage them. When they go home to their significant others, they can smile and think they "got me to convert". Maybe my "support" will just push them further down their spirally path toward psychosis.

ha... sorry guys, I just faked it. bastards.

Posted by crk on bellevue ave | January 6, 2008 2:25 PM

Hilarious post, but let's not blame chromosomes for what may be actual choices.

Dan - what were you doing in the belly of the merchandising beast - are you back from bucolic Vashon Island?

Posted by Bagged | January 6, 2008 4:52 PM


Yea, those guys are whack!

Posted by I Got Nuthin | January 6, 2008 5:00 PM

lyndon larouche rocks!!! stfu B#!@&!! no! stfu u!! ahm fokkd mang... wat time izit!? War Do I Sin up!? Doana do it!

Posted by bangbus | January 6, 2008 5:12 PM

hes also an anti semite

Posted by Bellevue Ave | January 6, 2008 6:29 PM

I do think that Ron P. is pulling some LLers.

Posted by postergirl | January 6, 2008 7:40 PM
Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | January 6, 2008 8:14 PM

#18 -

The young man was lucky he didn't get a purse upside his head. (That was reserved for me when I told him to get the fuck aways from us)

So grandma hit you for saying "aways"?

Posted by whatever | January 6, 2008 8:17 PM

I always ask them what are they going to do when their cult leader finally dies. It always pisses them off.

I helped organize a rally last year for Sen Cantwell's re-election campaign. They came en masse and stood at the back of our rally. When Sen Cantwell came to the microphone they started singing (or screaming) their anti Cheney songs at the top of their lungs. We asked them to stop so that people could hear the Senator speak; they did not.

They are very rude people. They also did not make any sense. Why protest and disrupt a Democratic rally if they are angry about Cheney?

It is then that I asked one of them what they are going to do when their cult leader dies. The person almost came at me and tried to hit me.

I've seen these folks in various cities over the years. They're always the same -- rude, unkept and believing in the weirdest conspiracy theories out there. To them everybody in politics is corrupt, evil and part of a global conspiracy, EXCEPT their fearless leader, even though he has been to jail. I sometimes feel sorry for them, until they interupt my rallies where I am trying to do something constructive.

Hopefully they will get the mental help they need after he is dead.

Posted by PassionateJus | January 7, 2008 2:48 AM

I want MORE cults...Add to the spice of life--Oh shit Scab Man walking down the street, oh no Do I want to help the environment?! Oh Fuck The Orange people, Damnit! Spare any change for a hungry man? Walking on the hill to downtown is like an obstacle course. I need more obstacles...These ones are getting easy...

Posted by MadDog | January 7, 2008 3:31 AM

Have any of you guys read their literature? The "Mark of the Beast" and whatnot? It is a thinly vailed retelling of the protocals of Zion, just replace the word jew with media. If you can read between the lines you can see that they are are a bunch of racist fuckheads.

Posted by Rotten666 | January 7, 2008 7:34 AM

@ Super Jesse #13

Nice post.
You must not be a Seattle dweller.
That kind of attitude toward freedom is not allowed here.

Posted by sceptic | January 7, 2008 10:20 AM

I always like to ask them if Lyndon LaRouche gave up the booty when he was in the joint.

Posted by wile_e_quixote | January 7, 2008 11:18 AM

A few years ago some LaRouche supporters got the 89 year old mother of a friend of mine to write the 11 checks for $5000.00 each in the space of a week. She had that much money available in order to pay her home-health care workers. When questioned by her daughter she told her that they had said the money was for national defense and she would be helping the president. Any group that uses lies to prey upon the gullibility of the elderly is in no way legitimate.

Posted by inkweary | January 7, 2008 11:46 AM

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