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Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Unusual Stuff

posted by on December 13 at 12:49 PM

For the person who has everything…

Pins and Needles. Current bid: $43.

Ten free games of bowling at Imperial Lanes and a seven-foot-tall artificial Christmas tree from Champion Party Supply. A $200 value.


Laff Hole Roast. Current bid: $107.

It’s like a night with Shriners, but everyone’s 80 years younger. It begins with a private party for 20 guests at Chop Suey catered by Soy Cowboy, then drink tickets and free admission to Laff Hole, by the ever-funnier comedians of the People’s Republic of Komedy, and a roast of the person of your choice (must be a willing participant). You will never stop laughing. Ever.

Your Band’s Big Break. Current bid: $567.99

This seven-part package has everything you need to leap from your bedroom to the big stage—studio time, gigs, a guitar, legal consultation, a photo shoot, styling, and a promise from Barsuk to listen to your demo. Behold: It starts with a beautiful white Epiphone G-310 guitar; eight hours in the studio at Electrokitty Recording (previous clients include Maktub, Mastodon, and U2); mastering by Sound Media (12 songs or up 74 minutes of music); a photo shoot with Stranger and Rolling Stone photographer Justin Renney; styling for the shoot by Christine Cherbonnier of VAIN; an hour of legal consultation with entertainment lawyer Wade Neal, esquire; four gigs at Sunset Tavern; and, of course, the star-makers at Barsuk will listen to your demo.

Get Smart. Current bid: $330.

One free SAT, LSAT, GRE, or GMAT preparation course, courtesy of the Princeton Review. Plus a $50 gift certificate to Elliott Bay Book Company to get you started on your textbooks. Plus-plus a $25 gift certificate to the Crypt, in the hopes you find a less expensive way to express your masochism than higher education. A $2,200 value.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Opera. Current bid: $173.50.

Two tickets to the Sunday, January 20, matinee performance of Pagliacci—the tragedy of a fatal love triangle in a commedia dell’arte troupe—at Seattle Opera. Plus, for the purposes of staging your own fatal love triangle, a paperback copy of The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping with Three by Vicki Vantoch. And, speaking of threes, you also get a $100 gift certificate to the Triple Door, the perfect setting for jazz shows or chamber-music concerts or adulterous assignations. A $340 value.

View a complete list of the actions here.


Strangercrombie: Once a year, we do something good.

RSS icon Comments


problem with the the test prep is that most sloggers are either past that stage in their lives, or they don't have $350 in disposable cash

i suppose parents could get it but still

Posted by vooodooo84 | December 13, 2007 12:55 PM

I agree - about the $350 disposable cash.

But that sweater looks nice.

Posted by Will in Seattle | December 13, 2007 1:04 PM

how much for a date with the hot chick in the picture?

Posted by frede | December 13, 2007 1:05 PM

I hate bowling.

Posted by Amelia | December 13, 2007 1:11 PM

If you took that "pointe" ballet shoes photo off of the Velocity Dance Center item, it would be more truthful and probably sell better.

Velocity does not offer pointe classes and doesn't even offer a lot of ballet classes. They're a contemporary dance studio specializing in modern dance with a little bit of hip-hop and funk thrown in. They have photos on their site that might help represent them better.

Posted by me | December 13, 2007 1:16 PM

You're dead to me now, Amelia.

Posted by Fnarf | December 13, 2007 2:01 PM

Bowling is not on my top ten list of things that would bother me about women. It's ok, but not essential, Fnarf.

Posted by Will in Seattle | December 13, 2007 3:40 PM

question: does the recording time at electrokitty also include the privilege of watching the owner's vast collection of ejaculation porn?

Posted by Bellevue Ave | December 13, 2007 4:49 PM

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