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Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Every Time a Dude Marries a Dude an Angel Gets Run Over by a Tank

posted by on December 12 at 8:20 AM

Gay marriage an impediment to world peace, says the Pope.

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This from a man who wears ruby prada pumps.

Posted by Providence | December 12, 2007 8:25 AM

You mean Dan, or the Pope?

Posted by Boomer in NYC | December 12, 2007 8:33 AM

The Pope is talking about world peace again? Man he has a lot of nerve.

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 12, 2007 8:36 AM

I love it: the nuclear family is the foremost teacher of peace. That (paraphrased) line made my day.

Posted by Tizzle | December 12, 2007 8:39 AM

Don't forget abortion, Dan. It is just as bad as all that fag mariage thing.

Posted by Mike in MO | December 12, 2007 8:40 AM

Mmmmm, I would classify religion itself as an obstacle to world peace.

Posted by Johnny | December 12, 2007 8:40 AM


Posted by Toby | December 12, 2007 8:49 AM

ratzo sounds like a goldurn scandohoovlian socialist:

In his message, the pope also endorses greater cooperation on environmental protection, writing that "further international agencies may need to be established" for the purpose. He also calls for an "equitable distribution of wealth" in a globalized world.

Posted by max solomon | December 12, 2007 8:53 AM

Oh Benni... you're just bitter that the Cardinals stopped putting out.

Guess you'll have to shack up with your old pals from the Hitler Youth from now on.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | December 12, 2007 8:55 AM

Hmmm...I think I see his logic. If gays are allowed to marry, we'll feel more accepted, and fewer of us will join the priesthood, meaning that there won't be enough priests to bring about world peace, as the Catholic Church has an excellent history of doing.

Posted by Gitai | December 12, 2007 9:07 AM

If I could shit on the pope's face, I would.

Posted by David Schmader | December 12, 2007 9:09 AM

Well, Mr. Pope, why don't you keep on doing your Catholic thing, and we'll keep on doing our pluralistic-society-possibly-allowing-gay-people-to-have-the-same-marriage-rights-as-straight-people thing, and we'll check back in 50 years to see who's doing better. Kay?

Posted by Greg | December 12, 2007 9:16 AM

No Tank could ever hurt an angel they are like flexible gummy bears and they do not care if Dudes marry Dudes.
They have much bigger things to worry about like making sure I do not get into a car accident or holding up the airplane when I travel. They don't like this Pope because the guy is scary looking.
God, you slog people need to study up on Angels or let me have a column dedicated to all Angel activity.

Posted by mj | December 12, 2007 9:21 AM

Awesome. Not only are we responsible for the 9/11 attack, hurricanes, earthquakes, and floods, we are now an impediment to world peace. When I was a young confused teenager, I had no idea that sucking cock could cause this much chaos in the world.

Posted by SDA in SEA | December 12, 2007 9:26 AM

I'm curious, though... if the Catholic Church was suddenly A-OK with gays, ordained women priests, and abortion, and far more vigilant about policing their priests, would they, in fact, be the darling of the left?

Posted by bma | December 12, 2007 9:33 AM

@15 Newsflash: Jesus was a darling of the left. The guy preached tolerance above all things... and never once did he say ANYTHING about gays. Even had a soft spot for sex workers.

And that's the sad irony: If Christians were truly Christian, they'd all be left leaning and society would move forward against greed and bigotry.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | December 12, 2007 9:39 AM

@13 A column on guardian angels of sports persons in the Stranger: "the only paper in town".

Posted by angels on the gridiron | December 12, 2007 9:39 AM

This from a "church" that demanded (from the papacy) a celebration of Hitler's Birthday throughout Germany, supported Mussolini (spelling I know)... Need I go on?

Posted by Just Me | December 12, 2007 9:40 AM
If I could shit on the pope's face, I would.

Well who wouldn't?

Posted by Judah | December 12, 2007 9:45 AM


If Pope Ratzo I were truly interested in a more "equitable distribution of wealth" around the world, I can think of several ways he could personally contribute; I'll bet some of the crap he's got lying around The Vatican would go for a pretty penny at Sotheby's and feed a lot of starving kids in Africa and such.


Posted by COMTE | December 12, 2007 9:56 AM

I'd rather pee in the pope's mouth than shit on his face, but that's just me. I wonder what he'd prefer?

Posted by Hernandez | December 12, 2007 9:57 AM

@21: I'd like to point out that urine is an approved substitute for holy water to use in emergency baptisms. Saltwater, however, is not acceptable.

Posted by Greg | December 12, 2007 10:17 AM

Thanks Senator Palpatine

Posted by monkey | December 12, 2007 10:49 AM

I would listen to Fred Flintstone wearing his Grand Puba hat long before anything the pope has to say.

Posted by -B- | December 12, 2007 11:16 AM

Cool, now everytime my bf and I fuck each other's brains out we can revel in the assumption we're ending civilization. That's gonna make me cum SO fucking hard!!

Posted by Jersey | December 12, 2007 11:32 AM

Please think of us and stay single. I beg you. Do anything you want but don't take vows!! It makes ALL the difference! Ow, I hurt.

Posted by Flat-Angel-With-Tank-Tracks | December 12, 2007 11:36 AM

GAHHHHH!!!!! Every time I think I am finally at peace with my former Catholicism, that I can just roll my eyes and think "Oh you crazy Catholics," Ratzinger or his ilk pull shit like this. The anger is throbbing in my throat.

Usually I enjoy things throbbing in my throat.


Posted by Mary | December 12, 2007 12:28 PM

best slog headline. ever.

Posted by kim | December 12, 2007 1:12 PM

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