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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

LiveBlogging Tonight’s Project Runway

posted by on November 28 at 22:00 PM

I don’t have Eli’s snazzy liveblogging program but I thought I’d toss this up anyway.

Hey, it’s about to start…

Jack takes a lot of pills, man, but nice tits, huh? And why is the fat dude making fun of Christian? And I wish Jack would stop doing that thing with his eyes.

Hey, no models? What’s this no models shit? And, hey, nice tits on Jack, huh? This whole episode gonna be about Jack’s tits. Tiki Barbar? “None of us really know who he is.” “I know nothing about football except that it’s the one time on television that spandex is acceptable.”

Oh, there are Jack’s tits again.

It does seem unfair that they’re making them all do menswear, huh?

Has anyone else noticed that there’s not really anyone all that sexy on the show this year? No Daniel V? I mean, Jack’s got nice tits—have I mentioned his tits?—but no one is really compelling in repose, you know what I mean?

So… uh… it hardly seems fair that half the designers are using Jack’s shorts as a pattern. Oh, hey, some of the other designers agree with me. Scandal.

Man, I hate all these car commercials at Christmas. Do you know anyone that has ever—ever—received a fucking car as a Christmas present? A car?

But what if I don’t want a text message from the designers?

Man, I love the fat guy: “Pants are just two big sleeves sewn together—it’s not that hard.”

So… uh… the male models? I wonder how many of them have slept with Trent Lott. One or two at least, don’t you think?

I’m sorry, that Elise bitch is one crazy bitch—she doesn’t want to touch that model? What the fuck is wrong with her? Oh, the models are leaving. I’m going to miss the models.

Oooh… a special guest. Ginny Bahbah, Tiki’s wife, is here to critique the designers work so far. Tiki likes layering, says Ginny, and Ricky is panicky. What is up with Kevin’s hat? To Carmen: “This looks like a Member’s Only jacket.” Oh, snap!

Oh my God, it’s Kara Saun from season one—driving a Saturn down to the beach to get a little inspiration for her designs. Now I’m inspired to get Terry a Saturn for Christmas. Where do you get those huge-ass bows that are always on top of Christmas-present cars in those Christmas-present-car commercials?

Okay, I’m having an attack of nerves here. So I’m going to stop typing and sit back and watch. Poor Sweet Pea! Poor Carmen! Poor Ricky!

Oh, good the models are back! Good lord, Kevin’s model is the hottest of the bunch.

Everything looks a mess—oh, man Carmen’s hand are shaking. I can’t watch. I can’t watch. I can’t watch!

Okay, a commercial. What is with all this text message bullshit? Text message and we’ll have the designers send you a text! Vote for another sports star you think we should have on the show by sending us a text! Is Bravo making so little money off this pop culture phenomenon that they have to milk us for text message fees? Sheesh.

A show of hands, please: Who’s excited about the Sweeney Todd movie? Everyone? Thought so. And, man, come the revolution those Real Housewives of Orange County are first against the wall.

Eeep! We’re back… oh man, oh man. Just one of them will be out. Hard to believe only one of them is going home. I can’t watch and type… so I’m going to watch.

Okay, Carmen and Sweet Pea got their asses handed to them — Ricky too.

Alright we’re in a commercial. I think Carmen should go home, Terry thinks Ricky. Carmen didn’t finish… a single piece. But I can’t believe how much they praised Jack’s two pieces—it was just dull. “It looks like you bought it in a store,” Jack said. Yeah it does, Jack. It looks like you bought it at J.C. Penney’s. But we both agree that this challenge isn’t really fair. Most of these folks have never done menswear at all. Now some who never did menswear rose to the challenge, I guess—the fat guy in particular. But the whole challenge seems like a giant psych! Okay, we’re back to see who gets auf’d…

THE RESULTS… after the jump…

Kevin is in... but he's not the winner! He was robbed. No way! Jack wins this challenge? I call bullshit on that. Should've been Kit, says Terry.

Sweat Pea is in... it's between Carmen and Ricky...

Carmen is out, Ricky is in...

They had so much bad to choose from it's hard to believe they didn't bend the rules and send three or four of 'em home. Hopefully they at least slapped Ricky and Sweet Pea after the taping.

RSS icon Comments


holy shit! i'm so fucking sick of the bluefly commercials! so '80's. who okayed those disasters?!!?!?!

Posted by terry miller | November 28, 2007 10:38 PM

"padma, like you, has a scar."

Posted by terry miller | November 28, 2007 10:39 PM

Dan, love your column, love your books (my mom spent Tgiving at my house this year tearing through "The Commitment"), but I'm very disappointed.

How could you not mention the single most problematic/awesome moment in PR history? "I love Asians. Asians are fierce."

Posted by Sasha Aickin | November 28, 2007 10:52 PM

the best part about the show was the ad about Kathy's special airing tomorrow.

Posted by Noa | November 28, 2007 11:08 PM

Dan, I love ya (and agreed with Terry's picks), but please bring Schmader next time. I miss his podcasts.

Posted by me | November 28, 2007 11:24 PM

What is the deal with Elisa? She won't touch the male model's body because she only likes to touch her boyfriend's body? Does that mean she wears all-over body condoms when she walks down Manhattan? Seriously, I'm just waiting for her to break out the tin foil helmet to shield her thoughts from the aliens.

Posted by madscntst | November 28, 2007 11:25 PM

Everybody sucks.

Tim Gunn is unusually red lately. But I'd still let him tax my ass. Growl!

Posted by Mr. Poe | November 28, 2007 11:41 PM

This episode actually pissed me off. The challenge was abusive, and, as the results proved, rewarded TAILORING not DESIGN. It's supposed to be a design show.

Jack won with a shirt. Big whoop. There are a thousand old guys in Hong Kong who could turn out that same shirt in an hour. It's an eighty-year old design -- men's dress shirts haven't changed since they started sewing the cuffs and collars on instead of buttoning them on.

Sweet Pea screwed up, but the ONLY DIFFERENCE between her shirt and Jack's shirt is the tailoring. Her tailoring sucks; she's never done men's before. But as DESIGN hers was no worse than Jack's, really. I'm not saying she shouldn't have been in the bottom, but the criteria for separating them was deeply hosed.

Ricky's was bad tailoring too. Stupid bitch Heidi said "just a boring suit", but what the fuck do you think Tiki Barber wears every day? And Kors -- what a fat, pompous asshole -- he couldn't tailor a suit by himself in a month, I'll bet, and look what he fucking wears every week -- a fucking black t-shirt. And Nina, oh, I just want to break her nose.

I guess it's fun to beat the shit out of the contestants, and to watch. I think it was a crappy challenge because of the unrealistic time constraint. In the end, the right person got aufed, for the wrong reason, and the winner was just WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

Posted by Fnarf | November 28, 2007 11:45 PM

You really need to get in on the REAL liveblogging. This is just silly.

Posted by Amelia | November 29, 2007 12:16 AM

Every time I see that car as a present story from one spouse to the other, I think - "Gee, thanks for putting us into debt for $25K without asking what I wanted or if it was a good use of our combined finances."

I mean, seriously!

Posted by Will in Seattle | November 29, 2007 12:54 AM

Dan? Are you drunk and/or high?

Posted by blaire | November 29, 2007 1:00 AM

The problems with Jack are numerous. First his face looks like he had a botched face lift at some point or several bad botox injections. Second, he sounds like Britney Spears except with a male body. Third, his talent for clothing is minimal. I mean WTF was that thing he made tonight????

And Tim is wrong, this is NOT the most talented group of designers they have ever had.

Posted by Just Me | November 29, 2007 3:02 AM

I think it's precious that no one here has said anything negative about Miss Carrie Bradshaw's performance last night.

Posted by Mike | November 29, 2007 5:29 AM

Didn't they make clothes for *dogs* last season? I know menswear is different from women's fashion (to an extent) but I don't think it's all that unfair a challenge. Use a tape measure and adjust accordingly.

Posted by Kuzibah | November 29, 2007 6:18 AM

That was some seriously bad "liveblogging."

"Okay, now we're at commercial. Oh my God! What if I don't want to Watch What Happens? Okay, now Jack is rolling his eyes. Okay, now I'm watching Jack roll his eyes. Okay, why does he have to roll his eyes? I can't watch!"

Posted by Zac | November 29, 2007 6:22 AM

Christian is a big pile of fail.

Posted by supergp | November 29, 2007 6:40 AM

They need to bring Wendy Pepper back to add the element of evil to the show. They have been missing the element of maniputlation on this show for too long.

Posted by Just Me | November 29, 2007 6:49 AM


I was wondering the same thing. This entire post resonated with me, and I am quite drunk. It does make you wonder...

Posted by NJ Matt | November 29, 2007 7:37 AM


The problems with Jack are numerous. First his face looks like he had a botched face lift at some point or several bad botox injections.

Jack's face looks like he's had collagen injections to overcome facial lipoatrophy (wasting) that sometimes occurs in HIV-positive people. His current look is probably many times better than the near-death skeletal appearance he'd have otherwise. (Speaking from experience here.)

There are other possible treatments, but the collagen is least invasive and less likely to be irreversibly botched.

Posted by J | November 29, 2007 8:13 AM

Kit should have won. Jack's design was boring, boring, boring.

I think this challenge was designed to weed out the terrible sewers. Seems like this is an issue every season -- great sewer does not equal great designer, and vice versa. You could have an excellent designer who can't sew a suit in 2 days, and therefore gets the boot. It's a problem with the show, but there's not much of a way around it...

Posted by Julie | November 29, 2007 8:46 AM

Thoughts: I agree Kit should have won this round. And it was an incredibly abusive challenge. I was really hoping they'd send in surprise guest Nick from Season 2 to lend some assistance. Total missed opportunity. Also: take a shot each time Ricky cries. And: I still want to die every time Christian says FIERCE!

Posted by kid icarus | November 29, 2007 8:51 AM

I love it when Dan fags out; it's so endearing and makes him seem more human and less iconic. or totemic. or anemic. or something...

and yes, I'm completely stoked for "Sweeney Todd". SIFF is doing an advance screening in a couple weeks, and I'm SOOOOOOO there!

Posted by michael strangeways | November 29, 2007 9:08 AM

jack so did not deserve to win. my first impression upon seeing his outfit was, "ew". head-to-toe stripes? isn't that some sort of fashion faux-pas? well if it's not it should be.

carmen deserved to lose for being so fucking stupid, making the jacket before the shirt. D-U-M-B.

and i wanted to shoot christian in the face for the "asians are fierce!" comment.

Posted by brandon | November 29, 2007 9:37 AM

Kit Pistol(how the hell do you insert the TM on this thing, and who the hell trademarks their friggin name anyways?) and her bad dye job annoys me to no end.

Posted by jewritto | November 29, 2007 9:37 AM

Fnarf, you sure you aren't gay? Your analysis was spot on. The Stranger should pay you to liveblog PR every week.

Posted by sniggles | November 29, 2007 9:40 AM

Watching the boys squeal over the male models was pretty adorable. Season 3's overabundance of straight men skeezed me out, and I'm glad they're back to the "one straight boy only, please" rule of Season 2--and I like Kevin way more than Daniel Franco.

Also adorable: Jack carrying Christian into the workroom (in the bag one time, in his arm another). I know it probably makes the rest of ya'll gag, but I'm waiting for it to escalate into something seriously pornographic.

Ricky has not only the hottest female model, he also got the best male model for this challenge, build/skintone-wise, considering the client. Shenanigans. And he's not even using it to his advantage.

Every single past-contestant blogger (Nick V., Santino, Jay McC.) is completely in love with Elisa. Either they know something we don't about her, or ...well, they know something we don't about her.

Am I the only one who has at-a-glance trouble telling Sweet P from Kit Pistol?

Dan, please keep doing these! :-D

Posted by Christin | November 29, 2007 9:42 AM

Kit should have won. Jack, well....yeah the outfit was nice, but still not that great.

and seriously all the ads for Tim Gunn's new show made me want to smash the television. How many times can we see the same promo?!?! At least they could have made 2 different ones to cycle through every single commerical break.

But seriously, when did the judges get all stuffy and unoriginal???

Posted by Original Monique | November 29, 2007 10:14 AM

Click here for DavidDust's recap of last night's beefcake-filled episode!

Posted by DavidDust | November 29, 2007 10:23 AM

i missed it! but thanks to you all, i feel like i was right there!

Posted by infrequent | November 29, 2007 11:03 AM

We were so happy when Carmen grabbed that fabric and tucked it around her model's neck at the last minute. Awesome! I was sad to see her go though... seemed nice. She complimented her peers a lot, and I liked that (but her tears were a little forced on the runway last week next to Christian).

Posted by robo | November 29, 2007 11:33 AM

Fnarf, you are so wrong about the difference between Jack's and Sweet P's outfits. They are not the same besides the tailoring. Jack chose a bias cut on the front seam and the pocket which, while not a huge deal, is exactly the type of detail you have to do to make menswear interesting. Menswear is so freaking boring most of the time and it's only those details that will make anything stand out. You can't go too far out there, however, or someone like Tikki Barber, who SAID he embraced color, will wimp out when he sees a purple shirt (like the straight guy's design).

Sweet P couldn't even make a boring button-down interesting.

Posted by Donny B | November 29, 2007 12:31 PM

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