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Monday, November 19, 2007

God’s Latest Invention

posted by on November 19 at 18:56 PM

We just received a press release from someone in Suwanee, Georgia. Hilariously, the apostrophes and TM’s all turned into weird characters (God doesn’t understand smart quotes or recognize trademarks, guys!). The press release (bold not mine):

Is prayer important at your church?

Finally, there is a tool for churches to encourage people to pray, worship, serve and connect with God beyond the Sunday service.

Introducing Prayer Toolbarô

Prayer Toolbarô enables churches to publish messages that display in peopleís web browser anytime they go online. If your church uses bulletins, web sites, email or podcasts to spread the Godís Word, than you owe it to yourself to investigate this new technology to connect people to God through you.

What it can do for your church is huge. What it can do for His people is eternal.
Here’s what the Prayer Toolbarô looks like:


Poor Mrs. Sims. I hope Ron’s doing okay.

RSS icon Comments


I am SO dismayed that such a Godly technology is not available for my (evidently devil-spawn) Macintosh.

Posted by Sachi | November 19, 2007 7:17 PM

it's probably a trojan using social engineering to trick the faithful... or dumb sloggers... into willingly installing it.

Pray for the foolish who so easily turn over the keys to their own computer!

Posted by haha it's a trojan | November 19, 2007 7:30 PM

once again, i waste too much time reading the slog. This reference to Mrs. Sims made me laugh so hard i snorted part of my dinner out my nose. Fortunately I just checked out the kitchen window, and she must be fine as her office light is on. but i will pray for her, as I know the notion of being called Mrs. Sims is not within her mental paradigm.

Posted by Lawrence Molloy | November 19, 2007 7:32 PM

Yes, I am Mrs. Sims neighbor. As someone has just pinged to ask. As a matter of fact, being Mr. Sims next door neighbor was reason 930 of why Pat Davis hates me. As for the other 929 reasons; some of the highlights. Reason number 1: Lawrence Molloy is not a racist. Reason number 2; unlike me, Lawrence Molloy knows where cell A1 is on an excel spreadsheet. Reason number 736; he has actually figured out that my (Pat Davis) simplistic vision of free trade benefits only the 12 people I care about at the port (and write my campaign checks). Reason 69; Lawrence believes that gays should be treated equally. Reason 7(an LT Molloy favorite); Lawrence Molloy did not have Pat Davis's permission to run for Port Commissioner. Reason 14; Lawrence actually rides a bus (that black people have been on). Reason 404; Lawrence believes that environmental laws should be enforceable not “kind of voluntary”. Reason 123; Lawrence doesn’t take bribes.

As for the “conversations” with Mrs. Sims husband of late: “do you have a leaf blower I could borrow?” was the most recent question/statement I posed. Earlier this month “how is your son doing at college?”. Conspiratorial? Every single one.

But the notion of a Prayer Toolbaro is very inviting. I’m sure the Dali Llama would incorporate it (Buddha seems to me to be very open). And while we are at it. Mental energy (ne’ prayer) directed towards Mickey Gendler’s toes would be well received (by Mickey’s toes, his wife, Mickey and the entire Board of Director’s of Washington State’s ACLU).

Lastly, I love the slog. But I spend way too much time reading it.

Posted by Lawrence Molloy | November 19, 2007 9:01 PM

What are the chances the message security is any good? The chances for mischievous abuse are almost too great, if anybody would ever actually the silly thing.

Posted by gfish | November 19, 2007 9:14 PM

The fact that the purveyors of this add-on believe being able to include a church's logo in the message bar is an actual selling point, pretty much tells me everything I need to know about the current state of organized religion.

Posted by COMTE | November 19, 2007 9:38 PM

Mmmm, Toblerone. Nom nom nom.

Posted by tabletop_joe | November 19, 2007 10:35 PM

Actually, prayer is not at all important at my church. We tend to frown on it.

Posted by catalina vel-duray | November 19, 2007 11:26 PM

Only one hour to go and Slog will not have been updated in 12 hours...

Posted by Hiram | November 20, 2007 4:56 AM

Another reason to use Firefox instead of MSIE, the browser for losers and morons worldwide.

Posted by Feuerfuchs | November 20, 2007 4:57 AM

URGENT: Pray for Ken Hutcherson because he's batshit crazy and thinks anyone of importance actually listens to him for reasons other than to laugh.

Posted by monkey | November 20, 2007 6:19 AM

How disappointing to wake up, run over to the computer to see what hilarity ensued last night in the great city of Seattle, and there hasn't been a SLOG update in 15 HOURS!

Posted by Lou | November 20, 2007 7:10 AM

@11: Monkey, Mrs. Sims can pray for Hutch once she recovers. Don't put too much on her now.

Posted by Dave Coffman | November 20, 2007 9:28 AM

@10 - yeah because you can't install custom religious shit on firefox.

Posted by eXtended | November 20, 2007 9:50 AM

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