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Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Female Celebrity Sports Blogs

posted by on October 9 at 11:27 AM

Alyssa Milano’s baseball blog, which is called *touch* ‘em all for some reason, features her love of the Dodgers and her love of her new MLB clothing line for women—touch. Oh, I get it.

Hilarious excerpt:

And what’s going on with the Dodgers clubhouse in total disarray? My take is that Grady’s inconsistency with his lineups this entire year put the youth and the veterans in direct competition with each other. Had Grady solidified a youth-dominant lineup, only making adjustments when necessary, I believe it would have given everyone time to adjust to their positions on the team and how they were to be utilized. Instead, with his constant shifting, he got a divided clubhouse with a “may the best man win” attitude.

Elisha Cuthbert’s hockey blog, which doesn’t have a name and hasn’t been updated since 2005.

P.S. — I encourage everyone to throw hats on the ice after any hat trick. LOL


And that’s all of them.

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Kim Bauer's blog appears to be called Hollywood Hockey Thoughts. LOL.

Posted by Levislade | October 9, 2007 11:36 AM


Posted by Mr. Poe | October 9, 2007 11:37 AM


Posted by Amelia | October 9, 2007 11:37 AM

"I, on the other hand, am just an actress who loves the sport and does not play -- but that doesn't mean I can't talk about it!"


Posted by Gloria | October 9, 2007 11:49 AM

Amelia, drop me a note at!

Posted by Amy Kate Horn | October 9, 2007 11:59 AM

less pseudo-analytical baseball jibber-jabber, more photos of your rack.

Posted by brandon | October 9, 2007 12:04 PM

Female celebrities are so dumb about sports. Only male celebrity sports bloggers are smart, like the one who said he'd throw a fastball at a gay batter's head or the one who is an expert on learning sports lessons from Jesus.

Posted by jamier | October 9, 2007 12:19 PM

Weird. Garth Brooks used to have a children charity called Touch'em All that was somehow Little League related. I think it's since changed it's name, for obvious reasons.

Posted by Dougsf | October 9, 2007 12:29 PM

"Touch 'em all" refers to BASES, after a home run, not the precious little children people or Alyssa Milano's smelly undergarments.

I think it was originally the catch phrase of Minnesota Twins radio announcer Herb Carneal, but I could be wrong.

Posted by Fnarf | October 9, 2007 12:36 PM

Ummm, Anthony, are you not aware that touch 'em all means hit a homerun? Methinks you ought to read Alyssa's blog more often.

PS. What's so "hilarious" about her excerpt? The Dodgers' unwillingness to play James Loney, Matt Kemp, and other talented kids for much of the year quite possibly explains their absence from postseason play. Alyssa's terminology may be a bit odd, but it's no less babble-icious than your standard sportswriting.

Posted by N in Seattle | October 9, 2007 12:37 PM

Precisely, N: the old, overvalued, overentitled veterans versus the young guys who can actually play baseball is THE story of the Dodgers this year. And some other teams I could mention....

Posted by Fnarf | October 9, 2007 12:47 PM

Gee Fnarf, I can't imagine coughSexson which team coughWeaver you might be coughVidro thinking about.

Posted by N in Seattle | October 9, 2007 12:58 PM

No, I didn't know "touch 'em all" means a home-run, but know I do. I have no opinion on female vs male sports intelligence whatsoever. The excerpt was "hilarious" because it wasn't hilarious. See? It was serious baseball analysis.

Posted by Anthony Hecht | October 9, 2007 1:00 PM

I think we all get that it's a baseball reference, but if grown-ups are allowed to follow professional sports, then we're also entitled to giggle like 13 years olds at its pervy sounding colloquialisms, damnit!

Posted by Dougsf | October 9, 2007 2:01 PM

...particularly when those pervy colloquialisms are paired with "serious" baseball analysis* that may or may not have been penned by the same woman who was also commissioned to sell a line of baseball "gear" [and by "gear" i mean "slutty tops with plunging necklines that are legitimized by a virtually inconspicuous baseball team logo"]

*which arguably does not exist, as the pairing of "serious" and "baseball" is a mind-fucking contradiction of terms

Posted by brandon | October 9, 2007 3:00 PM


Posted by Mr. Poe | October 10, 2007 10:56 AM

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