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Monday, September 24, 2007

Huh? What? Excuse Me?

posted by on September 24 at 11:41 AM

Can anyone decipher this Seattle Times editorial? Lawsuits, Ward Cleaver, porn stars, beaver getting pounded—I read it three times and I still can’t quite figure out what the fuck it’s supposed to be about.

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1

I would suppose it's a commentary about a former child star who appears to the Seattle Times to be a little lawsuit-happy. But you can only suppose that.

This editorial neither addresses the validity of his gripe with the Guild, nor the issue of what they seem to regard as a thoughtless lawsuit; it's just an excuse to write something as stupid as "pound the Beaver"--but probably that's as good a reason as any to write for such a crappy newspaper.

Posted by Boomer in NYC | September 24, 2007 12:02 PM
2

"duking it out in the courtroom is nothing knew..."?? - "pounding the Beaver"?? - must have been a slow gnus day. Is this representative of some sort of Blethen Narcosis?

Posted by KY. COL. of TRUTH | September 24, 2007 12:03 PM
3

this editorial has almost all the hallmarks of a ted nugent rant: a half-baked argument supported by manly aphorisms and frequent usage of vaguely naughty words such as "oily", "beaver", and "squab". i see he cleverly avoided ascribing the blame to liberals and/or PETA. probably just to throw us off.

Posted by brandon | September 24, 2007 12:12 PM
4

Well Talk Like a Pirate Day was last week. And it doesn't sound that much like a pirate anyway. Perhaps a disgruntled employee is trying to make the Times look bad?

The "Copyright © 2007 The Seattle Times Company" at the bottom is a classy touch. Because with solid gold editorials like this you have to make sure you claim credit and protect your valuable material.

Posted by elenchos | September 24, 2007 12:16 PM
5

"The Beaver got sweet revenge for all those poundings." BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh man. Thanks, Dan, for posting this link. The whole Ahmadinejad thing was getting waaay to serious.

Posted by Providence | September 24, 2007 12:17 PM
6

that totally made me horny.

Posted by adrian! | September 24, 2007 12:18 PM
7

Sounds like a NY Post editorial, only the paragraphs are too long.

Posted by tsm | September 24, 2007 12:22 PM
8

I think they got into the mushroom stash that the Essential Bakery founder left behind.

Posted by Will in Seattle | September 24, 2007 12:23 PM
9

Boy, talk about a non-sequitor!!

Posted by NELBOT | September 24, 2007 1:29 PM
10

Isn't the Times' a "family newspaper"? Apparently, it's all about family until Beavers are involved. Then it's straight to the gutter. (Plus, who was even following the Eddie Haskell story anyway?)

As Kerri H. might say, "Stay classy, Seattle Times"!

Posted by blah | September 24, 2007 1:30 PM
11

Um... Yeah... Slow news day or horny editor? You decide!

Posted by SIlverhand | September 24, 2007 1:41 PM
12

I think James Vesely, the opinion page editor, was taking a nap. He's getting old, you know...

Posted by Greg | September 24, 2007 2:11 PM
13

The typo is priceless.

Posted by Lorin | September 24, 2007 2:11 PM
14

I think we should all write the Times requesting more editorials and articles about "pounding the beaver".

Posted by butterw | September 24, 2007 2:20 PM
15

I thought the same thing when I read it. Glad it's not just me. Why are they writing about this?

Posted by Justy | September 24, 2007 2:49 PM
16

Barbara Billingsley was born in Dec 1915 so that makes her nearly 92-years-old. She has had only 2 TV apearances since the 1997 Leave to Beaver remake movie where she played Aunt Martha. It will truely be a sad day when we eventually lose the actress who played everything from the ultimate mom on TV to the Jive Lady on Airplane.

Posted by Touring | September 24, 2007 3:55 PM
17

@16 - Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da' help!

Posted by Mahtli69 | September 24, 2007 5:26 PM
18

He sued on behalf of 30,000 others?! Who the hell are they?!

Why is 'porn' italicised? -- it's not a French word!

Posted by dr fruity | September 24, 2007 5:40 PM
19

I'm so glad that the professional editors and wordsmiths at the Seattle Times are preserving the language by writing carefully-crafted prose. If this were handed into a high school journalism class, it should have received a D, but only if the teacher were generous.

Posted by Fritz | September 24, 2007 5:43 PM
20

is switching 'new' and 'knew' indicative of some secret meaning? is this written in code?

Posted by knewt | September 24, 2007 8:14 PM
21

is switching 'new' and 'knew' indicative of some secret meaning? is this written in code?

Posted by knewt | September 24, 2007 8:15 PM
22

Wow, I just don't know... or should it be no?
WTF?

Posted by clarity | September 24, 2007 9:02 PM
23

Ward Cleaver new the type and was never fooled for a moment.

Seriously, did the Times fire their copy editor? Do their editors ever actually do their basic jobs anymore?

Posted by Gomez | September 24, 2007 10:30 PM
24

The story is about the guy who played Eddie Haskell on the show "Leave it to Beaver". He is suing the Screen Actors Guild for millions of dollars, depsite the multi veiled references to beavers. The story goes on to say that he has tried to sue someone before, (a porn star), but was unsuccessful. Clear as mud? How about, it is a half assed story.

Posted by DF | September 25, 2007 6:54 AM
25

"I read it three times and I still canít quite figure out what the fuck itís supposed to be about." ... sounds like a description of a josh feit article.

Posted by sporting fellow | September 25, 2007 10:28 AM

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