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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Bill Donahue’s Gonna Blow

posted by on September 18 at 13:38 PM

Dark Alley Media—a gay porn company—got a lot of press for their last release, Gaytanamo, “a gleeful mockery of the government’s war on terror and the Guantanamo prisons.” Now they’ve made a porn flick—starring Jesus.


Matthias Von Fistenberg’s Passio will surely make a few Fox News anchors explode—and not in a good way. In fact, it is safe to say that even those non-acolytes of the “fair and balanced” network will be disturbed by von Fistenberg’s Jesus. This savior could care less about clothing the naked or feeding the hungry, unless the meal’s cock.

Read all about it at Queerty.

RSS icon Comments


Doesn't look like Jesus at all, but, uh, okay. Whatevs.

Posted by Mr. Poe | September 18, 2007 1:44 PM

Damn Dan, you're slogging at a record pace today!

Posted by Carollani | September 18, 2007 1:45 PM

Uhm, excuse me but Jesus wasn't TIED to the cross... he was NAILED... with 9" nails. HOT!

Posted by monkey | September 18, 2007 1:45 PM

He's name is Fistenberg. Fistenberg? Tell me thats not real, it just can't be.

@3 I am pretty sure this Jesus is going to get nailed too.

Posted by Giffy | September 18, 2007 1:47 PM

Maybe that's what's missing from the poster. It would be a spoiler to show hard 9'' dicks pounding His flesh into wood.

Posted by Mr. Poe | September 18, 2007 1:50 PM

Turn the other cheek, Jesus! TURN IT!

Posted by Katelyn | September 18, 2007 1:56 PM

Suffer the little children, cum onto me.

Posted by Giffy | September 18, 2007 2:00 PM

They should show this as a double feature with "Mother Theresa the Musical".

Posted by Sweetie | September 18, 2007 2:05 PM

I CANNOT WAIT for the Fox News firestorm!

Sean Hannity will be on double duty, what with screeching at the top of his lungs and simultaneously masturbating under his desk...

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | September 18, 2007 2:07 PM

A gay porn starring Jesus?I can't imagine this is the first.

Posted by Marla T | September 18, 2007 2:09 PM

where's the artistry? what, they can't find a semetic-looking porn actor guy with long hair? he looks like a goy boy what just walked out of any amercian gay bar circa 2007. please. fantasy needs these supports, you know, to get some suspension of disbelief going...?

Posted by ellarosa | September 18, 2007 2:11 PM

Nice package, Jebus.

Posted by SDA in SEA | September 18, 2007 2:23 PM

Ellarosa @11: Amen.

Posted by Christin | September 18, 2007 2:28 PM

So the participants can scream, "oh God!" and "Jesus Christ!" while getting fucked and it won't be taking the Lord's name in vain! :)

Posted by boonimusprime | September 18, 2007 2:32 PM

Hahahaaha!!! Transgressive humor at its best. Just in the concept. I'm sure like most porn, in execution the only successful humor it will achieve is utterly accidental.

Posted by christopher | September 18, 2007 2:36 PM

The musical version is called "Jesus Christ: Superstud!"

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | September 18, 2007 2:49 PM

I've seen it done, and done better, in Something Positive.

Posted by Greg | September 18, 2007 2:59 PM

Back in the porn heyday of the 1970's, there was suposedly a gay porn epic about the life of Christ entitled "HIM". The film is incredibly obscure, so much so that many cult/mondo/sleaze fans debate if it even actually exists.

Posted by Richard R. | September 18, 2007 3:01 PM

Greg: That was brilliant stuff.

Posted by Gloria | September 18, 2007 3:03 PM

I still think "The Da Vinci Load" is tops when it, um, comes to titles.

Posted by Wowza | September 18, 2007 3:19 PM

Um, so is the last supper going to turn into a bukkake scene...?

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | September 18, 2007 3:43 PM

WOOF! My mother will be THRILLED when she finds out I finally started worshiping Jesus.

Posted by Jake | September 18, 2007 3:51 PM

i find jesus-y/hippie-ish guys hot and then these guys blow it by casting some crew cut A/F dude as Jesus...WHERE'E THE MOTHERFUCKIN' LONG JESUS HAIR?!?!?!?

Posted by michael strangeways | September 18, 2007 3:53 PM

I'm already making a list (checking it twice) of lucky people who will be receiving this, undoubtedly the Best Christmas Present Ever.

Posted by Explorer | September 18, 2007 3:59 PM

18: The concept of a porn flick starring Jesus was invented by conservative hack Michael Medved as part of his otherwise amusing look at classic schlock, "The Golden Turkey Awards." The book had a contest of sorts, described on the back cover, that asked the reader to identify the one fake movie amid all the other terrible crap they'd neither seen nor heard of. Medved has admitted that "Him" was made up and was the fake film referenced on the back cover.

Posted by GrammarCop | September 18, 2007 4:16 PM

Explorer @ 24, how do I get on your Christmas list?

Posted by chrisdiani | September 18, 2007 4:20 PM

I would find this hilarious if I wasn't so freakin scared of what the Christians zealots are gonna do when they see this.

Seriously. There are scary "Christians" out there who would hunt down gays and hurt them after seeing this.

Posted by hiding under bed | September 18, 2007 4:31 PM

So I googled "jesus quotes" and they all read better now.

"The Kingdom (of Heaven) is inside you and it is outside you"

"Split a piece of wood, and I am there"

"He who believes in me will also do the works that I do"

"and Greater Works than These will he do..."

"Blessed are those who Hunger and Thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."

This last one seems like it was directed at Larry Craig

"Ask, and it will be given you;

Seek, and you will find;

Knock, and it will be opened to you."

Posted by PdxRitchie | September 18, 2007 4:35 PM

"This is my body, eat."

"I shall make your fishers of men."

"It is finished."

Posted by andy christ, aka AndyX | September 18, 2007 5:03 PM

"This is my body, eat."

"I shall make you fishers of men."

Posted by andy christ, aka AndyX | September 18, 2007 5:03 PM

25: Thanks for the info. I should have known that so "Dirty" a concept could only have come from a right-wing religious conservative.

Posted by Richard R. | September 18, 2007 11:20 PM

Anything that makes the self-righteous Fox Media and virtuecrats explode makes me smile. This made my day

Posted by Steel36 | September 19, 2007 5:44 AM

All I can say is this: Thank God my Orthodox Greek fiancée doesn't read this blog.

I think her head would explode. ;)

Posted by Toby | September 19, 2007 7:08 AM

My Top Five Comments after Watching The Passio Trailer:

1. Why remake Passion of the Christ if it already a porn movie?
2. Technically shouldn’t they be talking dirty to each other in Aramaic not Latin?
3. Does this mean that all guys I see with 2 x 4s in their back pockets in the Castro are flagging to be crucified?
4. No one will forget the turning water sports into wine scene!
5. I had always assumed that there was rimming at the last supper, I was glad to have that confirmed.

Posted by Nick | September 19, 2007 12:23 PM

This movie looks hilarious. What better way to celebrate Jewish New Year, Rosh hashanah this week that to watch Christian porn!

The Stranger should host a Jewish New Year party with a showing of this movie!
I'll post something about it on J-Date.

Posted by Issur | September 19, 2007 7:01 PM

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