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Monday, August 13, 2007

The Morning News

posted by on August 13 at 7:25 AM

Turd Blossom: Karl Rove has resigned, effective at the end of the month.

First Man Out: Tommy Thompson has dropped his presidential bid after a poor showing in the Iowa straw poll.

The Shaft: Attempts to rescue trapped miners in Utah continue.

What Is, Dead?: Merv Griffin, creator of Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune, has passed away at the age of 82.

The Price of Safety: It’s getting more and more expensive to keep all our fancy security gadgets at the ready.

Getting Rear-Ended: I-5 officially an absolute clusterfuck beginning today.

The Truth Shall Set Them Free: Seattle Sonics always headed out of town, one of the team’s owners tells an Oklahoma City reporter.

Lost and Found: A local lost hiker story with a happy ending.

The Great Gas Works Mystery Party of 2007: Covered here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and, uh, here.

And finally: A little Gerry Anderson weirdness to start your morning.

RSS icon Comments


The next time I quit a job I am going to say "I need to spend more time with my family". What next for Rove? Political Advisor for Fred Thompson.

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | August 13, 2007 8:22 AM

Re: Rove resignation

Guess this means the final 18 months of the Bush presidency are going to be a no brainer!

Posted by Original Andrew | August 13, 2007 8:25 AM

How in the fuck does B.S. get Morning News priveledge? According to a job description, Steinbacher is Managing Editor and Film Editor. The former sounds like a glorified secretary and the latter sounds like Roger Ebert's sycophant. You guys are racist and sexist. When is Jen Graves or Charles Mudede allowed to kick off the day, with their take on news realism?

Posted by matriarch | August 13, 2007 8:41 AM

@ Rove Resigning: Taking the risk of sounding like Paris Hilton that is so fucking hot. It's becoming very entertaining watching everyone jump ship.

@ Tommy Thompson quitting the race: That dipshit has about as much chance of becoming President as I do. I met the man while he was Governor of Wisconsin and not only is he a jerk he's also kind of pervy.

@ matriarch: You're joking right? Making a funny? Or trying? If not you sound like a total douchebag. If you were joking I apologize for calling you a douchebag, or something.

Posted by JessB | August 13, 2007 8:45 AM

I heard Rove had to go underground because of some sort of hip-hop rivalry.

Posted by Gabriel | August 13, 2007 8:47 AM

rove's first item on his to-do list is DOVE HUNTING.

you'd think one could tire of killing.

Posted by maxsolomon | August 13, 2007 8:54 AM

I have mega morning wood today. I want coffee, but I have to sit here and wait for this fucker to go down. Roar.

Posted by Mr. Poe | August 13, 2007 8:56 AM

My commute this morning actually wasn't that bad. I shudder to think what will happen when people start running out of vacation time, though.

Posted by Orv | August 13, 2007 8:56 AM

Orv, thanks for the phrase Shudder to Think. I have a six degrees or something going on.

Once in high school, our band Position of Labor (we were faux-Marxists by proxy) practiced in a barn. It was owned by the family of a future drummer of ShudThink. and we we worked on the song 'Always On My Mind' popularized by Elvis!

My vacation time is running out and my bike tires need some air.

Posted by Garrett | August 13, 2007 9:04 AM

Re: Rove...It should get really interesting from here on out...

Re: matriarch...maybe Graves & Mudede don't wanna do the MN. Ever think of that?
Care to comment Jen/Charles?

Posted by Mike in MO | August 13, 2007 9:07 AM

Most of the comments on this story say that TMZ was pretty tacky on Merv Griffin's death:

Posted by raindrop | August 13, 2007 9:07 AM

Yay! Now Rove can finally concentrate on finishing his debut rap album. When that shit drops, it'll be like 1992 all over again! "Straight Outta Denver..."

Posted by bookworm | August 13, 2007 9:13 AM

Wow, Mr Poe's Simpson pic turned out pretty good and I never knew he was a good looking kid.

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | August 13, 2007 9:20 AM

Biggest news of the day: No "clusterfuck" in the morning commute.

Shows what a lie the scaremongering about the surface transit option has been?

Posted by wf | August 13, 2007 9:21 AM

Damn, Karl out the door AND a cheerfull little Barry Grey ditty both to start my week! What could be better?

Posted by COMTE | August 13, 2007 9:22 AM

@14: Yup! This proves removing the Viaduct can work, as long as we tell people to take indefinite vacations.

Posted by Orv | August 13, 2007 9:25 AM

Yep, no doubt about it: clusterfuck averted, at least for the day. Then again, Mondays are usually a light traffic day, especially during the summer. I guess the real test will come in a week or so -- when people start to "cash in" on the speedy morning commute by stopping telecommuting, etc.

That said -- This makes surface & transit look much more manageable, no?

Posted by Clark Williams-Derry | August 13, 2007 9:26 AM

Wow, all the BIG news today, Rove resigning, Thompson out, Merv dead, yet being the prole that i apparently am i got stuck on that story about the OK City tycoon who wants the Sonics. It sounds like the OK city got its feelings hurt or something, for being called red necks and hicks by the Seattle media. If taking our craptastic basketball team is all they require for forgiveness, i say let 'em have it! As a sports fan who LOATHES the NBA it brightens my day to see the league on a downward swing, with record low ratings in the finals and trading markets like Seattle, for Okie City. All pro-sports fans are suckers to some extent (it costs a week's salary to get a decent buzz on at M's games), but none as much as NBA fans.

Posted by longball | August 13, 2007 9:30 AM

This Rove news is definately making me reconsidder what is "too early to start celebratory drinking on a week day". Where are we all gathering to burn this f-cker in effagy tonight?

Posted by longball | August 13, 2007 9:36 AM

Nobody's ever gonna take seriously a grown man who insists on being called "Tommy"--we'll sooner have a President Chaz or Secretary of State Stephan.

Posted by Boomer in NYC | August 13, 2007 9:40 AM

Don't tapdance the night away in celebration of Turd Blossom's departure from the White House Titanic. He's sure to go to work for the GOP and plan a Repuke comeback in 2008. In other words he's going someplace where he can be more effective and be a bigger problem than he is now.

Posted by Matt from Denver | August 13, 2007 9:49 AM

Damn you Matt from Denver! Raining all over my morning buzz.

Posted by longball | August 13, 2007 9:52 AM

@ 21 Likewise, Wolfowitz is in a neo-con Washington thinktank as we (Need To!) speak, or blog towards surveillance and oblivion war-continuation. His new advisory post is released as more, so called African assistance.

Posted by keenan | August 13, 2007 9:55 AM

@21: Yeah, I'm really curious whose campaign he'll sign up with.

Posted by Orv | August 13, 2007 10:05 AM


I don't think it's going to be so much a matter of Rove working for a specific candidate, but instead I imagine he'll begin consulting for the RNC to take his patented mud-slinging style nation-wide.

He can do a LOT of damage in 15 months, enough to tip the narrow Democratic majority in the Senate for example, back to the GOP, which could effectively block any sort of progressive agenda coming out of either a Dem controled House or Executive Branch.

Posted by COMTE | August 13, 2007 10:34 AM

@25: Maybe, but I think Rove's mudslinging tactics are wearing pretty thin. He's a one-trick pony. He certainly didn't do the Republican candidates any favors in 2006.

I really think liberals overestimate Rove. He's not a political genius. His only advantage is that he lacks the gene that causes most people to not kick grandmothers and steal candy from babies. He got lucky a couple of times, in my opinion. (Does anyone really think Bush would have won in 2004 if not for 9/11?)

Posted by Orv | August 13, 2007 10:38 AM


I'd like to hope you're right, but the GOP smells desperate, and desperate people will resort to desperate measures. Besides, even if Rove has proven to be only marginally effective over the long-term, the fact that he's proven to have any level of effectiveness at all will make him a desired commodity, as I would imagine at this point the RNC will settle for taking whatever it can get that has even the slightest shot at pulling some sort of political victory out of the '08 cycle.

Posted by COMTE | August 13, 2007 1:01 PM

@27: Oh, sure, I just don't think he'll be the savior they hope he is.

Still, this is one thing that distinguishes Republicans from Democrats -- Republicans only bring back people who win. Democrats rehire the same people who have lost campaign after campaign.

Posted by Orv | August 13, 2007 1:16 PM

Wow. Maybe NASA would have more support for space shuttle missions if each mission also had a jazzy 60's soundtrack.

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