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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Courtney Love’s Ass Learns to Type (Sort of), Laments, “Wonky” Lips!

posted by on July 24 at 10:46 AM

Our very own Old Widow Cobain (if I might dust off that old chestnut) has unleashed her rather horrible self upon the wide, wide world of blog, and the CIA and Homeland Security or whatever should be quite concerned, as she seems to be sending secret messages to persons dubious and unknown (and possibly terroristic) in some kind of ingeniously indecipherable code. To complicate matters, she seems to be typing with her ass. A particularly puzzling and disturbing recent example:

ut up z demo of demo iof demo of carcrash we habve about 4 other songs too, and id like to get opinions on them sopme of them. i need to write another dylanney one rexcept i just found otu my fat fighters mafrtin got stolen on the chunneltrain and thats why i got that new gibson for my bday but i need it nd its nowehr eint hehosue the only guitar is kurts ild one with strings i havent changed in teh 12 years sinc ehes passsed, and its hrd to play too.

Indeed. Linguistics experts with magic rings over at TMZ have been working desperately to decode her messages, and have had some success with the following post, in which they say she seems to either be dimly recognizing her own innate horribleness, lamenting her face, and devising crackpotted plans to fix it somehow, or sending her famous chicken and dumplings recipe to Osama bin Laden

my mouth still looks wonky, i think i gott go back to paris tot he dr, hes nit a cosmetic surgeon he just fixes bad surgery … this really isnt znyones business but im hating that id di that to my mouth back in the day … i just wnt the mouth god gave me back.

We may never know for sure. Never.


RSS icon Comments


She should have shot herself in 1994, kind of like Oliver Stone should have been hit by a jet fuselage after shooting Platoon. Only then would I have respect for either of them, because only then would they not have moved on to act/make/produce so much shit.

It's amazing that she's still alive. I truly believe I could get high off of licking her face.

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 24, 2007 11:28 AM

I totally get it -- a semi-high-brow farce/critique of MySpace linguisitics. Bravo.

And I agree with her that playing Kurt's left guitar would be hrd.

Posted by horatiosanzserif | July 24, 2007 11:38 AM

Compelling evidence that “Charles Mudede” and the Old Widow Cobain are really one and the same person?...

Posted by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me | July 24, 2007 11:53 AM

Fuck her! She killed Kurt Cobain and all the evidence supports it. Fuck the police for always assuming every murder is a suicide.

Posted by Touring | July 24, 2007 12:30 PM

-- Is that Courtney or Golem pictured? :|

Posted by Aaro)))n Edge | July 24, 2007 1:10 PM

Ha haha!


Posted by rachealh | July 24, 2007 1:14 PM


Posted by horatiosanzserif | July 24, 2007 1:46 PM

Not surprisingly she either doesn't know what year it is, or doesn't know what year her junkie boyfriend died. Hint: not 12 years ago.

Posted by Fnarf | July 24, 2007 4:43 PM

@4: Fuck you for assuming the cops are that stupid. If someone has shotgun scatter through the coconut, the cops ALWAYS assume foul play first and suicide a distant last. Don't dumb down the blogosphere any more than it already is. And as much of a chemical-head as Love is, do you really think she'd be able to keep it a secret for this long?

Posted by Paul | July 25, 2007 9:28 AM

#9 do your homework

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Posted by qjadxne oghekswxm | August 6, 2007 11:44 AM

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Posted by qbtaiy ephjvnzxo | August 6, 2007 11:45 AM

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