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Friday, June 8, 2007

I’m Gonna Break My Rusty Cage and Run

posted by on June 8 at 10:39 AM

Looks like skanky hotel heiress Paris Hilton could be headed back to the pokey, and not the kind of pokey where she’s facedown on 600-thread-count sheets, getting a good rogering from some equally vapid piece of Hollywood man meat.

According to US magazine, my favorite piece of garbage disguised as news, Ms. Hilton’s early release from the Century Regional Detention Center has outraged prosecutors for the case and the superior court judge is none-too-pleased with the whole mess.

Full details here.


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Mmm, man meat.

Posted by keshmeshi | June 8, 2007 10:41 AM

I'm tired of hating her. I wish she would just cry herself to death and stop stealing headlines with her abortive life.

Posted by Mr. Poe | June 8, 2007 10:50 AM

i am certianly no critic, nor anything like an authority on such matters, but i was under the impression that it was mandatory for all gossip posts to contain as many permutations of the word "fuck" as possible, and at least one "homosexualia". no?

oh, paris. i'm so embarassed i ever fucked her.

Posted by adrian! | June 8, 2007 10:54 AM

The inmates are running the asylum today.

I truly wish P. Hilton would be executed by firing squad. It would give her life meaning.

Posted by Mark Mitchell | June 8, 2007 11:06 AM

I love Freaky Friday. I want Freaky Monday through Friday!

Posted by Eli Sanders | June 8, 2007 11:12 AM

No. We need Paris. She fulfils a basic human need -- to hate vapid rich people.

Posted by Fnarf | June 8, 2007 11:12 AM

Last night Southpark aired the Stupid Spoiled Whore episode where Mr. Slave and Paris have a Whore-off to see who is the biggest whore.

I *heart* Southpark!

Posted by monkey | June 8, 2007 11:19 AM

huge vocabulary points for using the verb "to roger"

Posted by bill | June 8, 2007 11:24 AM

Isn't she dead yet? And I loved the ending of that South Park episode last night ... follow the light, Paris!

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 8, 2007 11:52 AM

The jig is up. Paris was just ordered back to jail by the judge.

From TMZ:
"Hilton left the courtoom in tears, screaming, 'Mom, Mom, Mom.' One witness described the scene as: Paris was 'physically escorted' out of the courtroom by a female deputy."

Man, she is really milking this thing for all the drama she can. Jail sucks (I've been there), but it's not THAT bad. For the love of Christ, suck it up and deal with it.

Posted by Matthew | June 8, 2007 12:22 PM

""It isn't wise to keep a person in jail with her problem over an extended period of time and let the problem get worse," [L.A. County Sheriff Lee] Baca told the Los Angeles Times on Thursday."

Interesting that no one has come out and stated explicitly what this so-called "problem" is, that required poor, suffering Ms. Hilton to get early release.

Although, I'm guessing it's not a particularly virulent strain of T.B. we're talking about here.

Posted by COMTE | June 8, 2007 12:34 PM

"I just want to tell you that some people have war in their countries."

-- Natasha, "America's Next Top Model"

Posted by ballard | June 8, 2007 1:07 PM

I just want to congratulate you on the (slightly obscure? dunno) Soundgarden reference. Thank you. I must listen to that CD now.

Posted by Andy | June 8, 2007 1:56 PM


Posted by Bill | June 12, 2007 2:58 PM


Posted by Bill | June 12, 2007 2:59 PM


Posted by Bill | June 12, 2007 2:59 PM

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