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Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Bangkok? Get It? Bang Cock?

posted by on January 9 at 17:48 PM

What the fuck is going on in Colorado Fucking Springs? Three Colorado Springs’ pastors have resigned for sexual misconduct—most famously Ted Haggard—and another is in trouble for some sort of alleged financial misconduct. Now this:

A former high school basketball coach faces 39 charges for allegedly hitting male students in the groin, showing them pornography and pouring water on his players then driving them to games in the winter with the windows rolled down.

Gregory Lynn Burr, 28, face charges ranging from sexual assault on a child by one in a position of trust to child abuse resulting in serious bodily injury, according to court documents reviewed by The Gazette of Colorado Springs. One of the students claims to have had scrotal surgery because of Burr’s alleged assault.

A student in documents said Burr would ask them, “What is the capital of Thailand?” When they would answer “Bangkok,” he would hit them in the groin.

The incidents allegedly took place from September 2005 to March 2006 at The Monument Academy.

Colorado Springs is the spiritual home to the American Christian Evangelical movement. It’s their Vatican Fucking City. Remember that the next time some born again douchebag starts going off about the Nancy Pelosi and her “San Francisco values.” I’ll take SF’s values over CS’s values. I mean, people get hit in the crotch in SF all the time—CBT they call it there—but it’s consensual and it doesn’t involve children. Christ!

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Clearly this is the work of another undercover, sexually frustrated, homsexual entering the priesthood.

Seriously Dan, as a member of the gay community, you should be addressing why so many gay guys enter the priesthood

Posted by Good question | January 9, 2007 6:49 PM

Sadly, jerks and perverts show up in just about every school system. But at least this school was a charter school, so this particular creep could be fired. Contrast with the alleged flasher principal from Seattle' Whittier Elementary School, who has property rights to his job and is still collecting his salary.

Posted by Stefan Sharkansky | January 9, 2007 6:57 PM
at least this school was a charter school, so this particular creep could be fired. Contrast with the alleged flasher principal from Seattle' Whittier Elementary School, who has property rights to his job and is still collecting his salary

So you're saying that although a private school might fire someone for showing kids porn and hitting them in the crotch while on the job, a public school is likely to keep paying someone while he's on suspension for having been accused of engaging in tacky behavior in his free time?


Posted by Phil | January 9, 2007 7:25 PM


Point well taken - yet, in the local case, if the allegations are true, this principal will need to look for another job. Any trust established as a manager of employees will have been destroyed. How could any subordinate - especially women - feel safe around a man who clearly has such a profound disconnect with reality, sexual expression, boundaries and earned respect?

If the allegations of "tacky behavior" are true.

Posted by Laurence Ballard | January 9, 2007 7:37 PM

Incidentally, the capitol joke works with just about anywhere. To wit: "What's the capitol of South Dakota? PIERRE!" Needless to say, it's only funny when accompanied by a punch to the groin.

Posted by John Pontoon | January 9, 2007 7:38 PM

Tragic? Sadly yes.
Soon to be tested on my younger brother? Gleefully, YES!!!

Posted by StrangerDanger | January 9, 2007 7:49 PM

repression does amazing things.

Posted by konstantConsumer | January 9, 2007 7:51 PM


Wait -- no -- my point was, "what the hell was Stefan's point"?

What point are you taking?

Posted by Phil | January 9, 2007 8:15 PM

Back in Iowa in the 70's, I went to a garden variety, apathetic public school where the track coach racked a kid. He got canned.

Posted by catalina vel-duray | January 9, 2007 8:29 PM

Stefan uses this story to bash public schools once again. The Shark likes to use anecdotes to "prove" his larger point. Public schools bad, says Stefan, charter schools good. If you listen to Stefan, the teachers union is the source of all evil. Must be nice to live in such a simple world.

Posted by c'mon stefan | January 9, 2007 8:37 PM

Stefan @ 2: Talking out your ass again, Stefan.

First of all, the groin punching coach was fired before these allegations came out - it seems he and his wife were just plain ol' bad teachers.

Second, the principal is on leave while the school investigates - if they find he did what he is alleged to have done, he will be fired. If you weren't so busy trying to fit the world into your narrow view, you'd know this happens in schools all the time - employees do bad things, they're suspended while they're investigated, and fired if they've done wrong.

Just like any other job.

Posted by switzerblog | January 9, 2007 8:45 PM

Switzerblog: "First of all, the groin punching coach was fired before these allegations came out - it seems he and his wife were just plain ol' bad teachers."

Thanks for confirming my point. How common is it for a union member to be fired simply for being a bad teacher?

Posted by Stefan Sharkansky | January 9, 2007 9:19 PM

ah yes.. The union as bogeyman. Perfect for the person who always needs someone to blame for their own shortcomings.

It's a lot easier to take responsibility for your life.

Posted by catalina vel-duray | January 9, 2007 9:31 PM

I am a teacher - and holy shit you can't get fired for being a bad teacher! There are many great teachers at my school, but several that are wholly incompetent, lazy - even hate their students and hate teaching but are hanging in for their retirement.

Administrators quietly transfer all students with parents who complain to competent teachers (who of course are rewarded for their hard work with overloaded classes)

While I appreciate some of the things my union does for me it can also be one of the obstacles to making schools better for students- those of you that blindly attack conservative criticism of the public school system are idiots - much like Patty Hearst you defend the institution that made you so fucking stupid. And I consider myself a progressive, but I think defending a broken institution just isn't helpful to those kids that truly need school that serve them.

Posted by I am a teacher | January 9, 2007 9:43 PM

What's going on in Colo Springs? Pretty much the same thing where religious zealots are in charge - sexual repression resulting in very inappropriate sexual expression. Remove sexual repression and you'll find such behavior will diminish.

It's too bad, Colo Springs is easily the most attractive city in Colorado and among the most picturesque locales in the USA. But it became a conservative stronghold when the defense industry took root, and that's why so many religious nuts decided to relocate there. (Spongedob isn't homegrown.)

BTW, does anyone else find "I Am A Teacher" @ 14 kinda suspicious? Like maybe that person isn't really a teacher but is an anti-public education troll? Or is it just me?

Posted by Matt from Denver | January 9, 2007 10:26 PM

Stefan is no doubt a product of the public school system, so he sort of makes his own point.

Posted by Stupid Is As Stupid Does | January 9, 2007 10:33 PM

Principals are management and NOT union memebers - any failure to remove an incompetent or dangerous administrator falls squarely on school boards and superintendents, not teacher's unions.

Posted by Soupytwist | January 9, 2007 11:18 PM

Teacher, if there are problems with your union, why don't you get involved and work to improve it? I've never understood the all-too-common impulse to takes the good things the union does, but not work to change the bad - especially since they are taking your money.

FWIW, I have never been a union member, but I have managed employees who are subject to collective bargaining, and I really liked it. People think I'm crazy for saying that, but I thought it made my job easier. Of course, I took the time to learn the contract and work rules, so I could manage effectively, and wasn't afraid to work with the union.

If you don't do your homework (i.e. learning the contract and work rules) managing union employees is a nightmare. That's why so many incompetent managers and poorly run companies are afraid of unions.

Lastly, it takes two parties to sign a contract: Management and union. Unions will, of course, look after their best interest. If the corporation (or governmental agency) can't defend against that, the problem is with their labor relations, HR, and legal departments.

Posted by catalina vel-duray | January 10, 2007 5:57 AM

You all turned a totally childish joke into a boring teacher's union v management discussion. How very mature of you.

My favorite:
Q. Do you own any land?
a. no
q. here's two acres (at this point, the prankster delivers a swift fist to the balls).

Get it? two acres (as in, ache-rs)! I kill myself!

Posted by Mike in MO | January 10, 2007 8:35 AM

I Catalina Vel-Duray.

Posted by A Fan | January 10, 2007 8:39 AM

I tried to put "heart" in there with the little hat things around it. But, maybe the hat-like things mean erase. Opps.

I heart Catalina Vel-Duray

Posted by A Fan | January 10, 2007 8:41 AM

As a Colorado native, I would argue that Colorado Springs is perhaps one of the ugliest cities in the world, for so many reasons.

Posted by Native | January 10, 2007 9:30 AM

I too ♥ Catalina Vel-Duray.

Whatever problems there are with public schools are not primarily the fault of unions but of management besotted with bad ed-school theory and crippled by lack of funding.

What Sharkansky neglects to mention in his encomiums on charter schools is that the entire charter school movement is driven by one primary goal: not teaching evolution. Students that pass through charter schools will perhaps, if they are lucky, be well-educated in some areas (the three Rs) but will be woefully unprepared for a word where creativity and flexibility are required, and they'll have a lot of catching up on any kind of science that isn't pure engineering. Good jobs? Maybe. Good citizens? Unlikely.

Posted by Fnarf | January 10, 2007 10:50 AM

Sharkansky! What the hell are you doing in the comments thread at a pinko-liberal-Al-Quaeda rag like The Stranger? Trolling for dates with terrorists?

Posted by MadDogM13 | January 10, 2007 11:50 AM

Fnarf> not to get on a tangent, but are all charter schools about not teaching evolution? As in, are "charter" schools in WA the same as in MO? I don't know S about charter schools...

Posted by Mike in MO | January 10, 2007 12:57 PM

Another tiny heart for Catalina...

Posted by Mark Mitchell | January 10, 2007 1:09 PM

Colorado needs to change it's state flag. it should have a picture of Jesus wearing a pink tutu, smoking a pipe, while kicking a disciple in the nuts.

Posted by herbert | January 10, 2007 3:52 PM

This coach has really run out of ideas. I mean, at what point do you just run out of ideas where the only coaching method that you have is to kick your players in the nuts. He is like "Listen team, I have a very simple way of doing drop a pass, I kick you in the miss a tackle, I kick you in the show up late to practice, I kick you in the nuts. It might be good to implement this coaching style in the NFL. I mean multi millionnaires don't really care about getting fined but they would definitely follow the rules if they knew that the coach would run out into the endzone and kick them in the nuts if they did an endzone dance.

Posted by will | January 10, 2007 4:01 PM

What's the capital of Burkina Faso? OUAGADOUGOU!!! (Punch in balls emoticon)

Posted by John Pontoon | January 10, 2007 4:59 PM

Amazing how quickly the point of Dan's blog entry was lost. Devolving into a diatribe regarding the failures of the public school system rather then focusing on Mr. Savage's point... tsk tsk.

Colorado Springs is the ugliest city in Colorado, no matter the majestic beauty of Pike's Peak and the Rockies. It is precisely because of the fundie religious hypocrisy that inhabits that metropolis' zeitgeist that people like young Mr. Burr are allowed to exist - and yes, thrive.

Oh, how I do long for the lost days of blue statehood...

Posted by Chilly | January 10, 2007 6:24 PM

As a native of the Springs area (Manitou, not CS thank god) I am nonetheless very sad when I hear people talk about the place this way, because up until about 1987 when the city basically invited the religeous "organizations" to town by offering them tax breaks (and not when defense industries came, they were there long before the 80's and the place was not like it is now Matt from DN)it was like any other BEAUTIFUL (physically) small western city - part conservative small town, part "fuck-you leave me alone on the range", and part funky hippie types looking to live in a beautiful place. Sadly, since the religeous zealots moved in, many of the others have either been converted or have left (like me).

Posted by scharrera | January 11, 2007 11:03 AM

Great site!

Posted by azazello. | January 25, 2007 5:23 AM

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