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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

That’s a Hell of a Thing

Posted by on May 17 at 13:25 PM

I was forwarded some photos of the 50 foot fin whale found dead near Bellingham on Sunday, and now I must share them with you. These pictures were taken during the autopsy, which also revealed that the whale’s penis was 5.5’ long and 13” wide.

Click thumbnails for a closer look.




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Those pictures are gross and surreal and remind me of a homoerotic passage in Moby Dick.

I wonder if it smelled like a ton-ton on the inside. 'cause it kinda looks like one.

The City of Subdued Excitement indeed.

That whale was hit by a ship. Poor thing! Humans suck for everyone else on the planet.

And whales suck for krill.

And whales have been known to occasionally sink smaller boats (purely by accident, I'm sure), so it's not like they haven't gotten in a few licks for their side. Maybe not enough to balance the scales, survival-of-the-fittest-wise, but just saying: sometimes the suckage goes both ways.

My new desktop background at the office.

COMTE, Oh PulEEZE! Give me a f'in' break.


Whales are fucking stupid. Can you mention one whale in the history of mankind that has had a record in the top ten? Can you? Can you mention one whale who's written the equivalent of, er, 'Othello', Shakespeare, 'Health & Efficiency'? They've produced nothing in the way of literature. All they've fucking produced is a load of other whales and all they eat is fucking plankton, and they call them intelligent. Can you imagine drifting along in the sea with your mouth open and a lot of fucking plankton going in?

Yeah, I can imagine that.

You'd like it, would you, just drifting around in the sea? And you can't-, they're such cunts they can't even breathe underwater. They have to keep coming up the whole fucking time and spouting. Then some cunt comes on telly and he says, "Oh, the whale is being wiped out by mankind, save the fucking whales." Well! During the war, did we notice a lot of whales w-, rallying round and saying, "Save England!" I didn't notice many down my part of the world.

I'd swap all the whales in the world for fifteen minutes conversation with Cook 'n' Moore in their prime.

mmmmmmm, sushi...

Sushi indeed - I've recently moved to Japan from Bellingham and last week I was at the corner sushi bar when I mentioned that I'd never eaten whale. The chef said that they had it and provided me with a free plate of tongue and blubber. Damn tasty.

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