The Stranger

p>Is there a more beautiful sight than pizza dough being tossed and caught, tossed and caught, until it achieves its optimal thinness and perfect diameter? No—no, there is not. Today, professionals from Piecora’s, Big Mario’s, Zayda Buddy’s, Elemental, Ballard Pizza Company, and more compete to become the Pizza Toss Boss. Your suggested $20 donation gets you two hours’ worth of pizza and salad, plus a scorecard. The winner gets a trophy, and the proceeds go to their charity of choice. Everyone gets all that beauty in the air. (Ballard Pizza Company, 5107 Ballard Ave NW, 659-6033, noon, $20) by Bethany Jean Clement

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Most people agree that Skyfall was one of the all-time best James Bond movies, but critics who’ve seen all the Bond films still tend to keep Goldfinger at the top of their list. How can a movie with an extended golfing sequence and a portly fake-tanned German villain top Sam Mendes’s sleek, stylish origin film? Three words: Sean fucking Connery. Also, the slow unveiling of a devious plot that sounds so crazy it just might work. Also: Oddjob’s razor-brimmed hat. And finally: Pussy Galore! Goldfinger may not have Javier Bardem, but it’s overflowing with old-school style. (Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St, grandillusioncinema.org, 6:45 and 9 pm, $8) by Paul Constant

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Stranger contributor Bess Lovejoy wanted to do something special for the hometown launch party of her beautiful new book, Rest in Pieces: The Curious Fates of Famous Corpses. Sure, she’ll be reading from her new collection of pieces detailing the afterlives of notorious dead bodies, and she’ll answer all your death-related questions, too. But rumor has it this reading will also feature a thereminist and a very special guest-skull or two, in addition to the Rendezvous’s usual stiff drinks (haw-haw!). Corpses have never been so exquisite. (Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave, 634-3400, 7 pm, free) by Paul Constant

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For liberal heathens like me, NARAL Pro-Choice Washington’s annual chocolate-themed fundraiser is as sacred as any religious holiday. At Chocolate for Choice, $40 buys you more chocolate samples than your stomach (or pockets) can reasonably hold, plus fantastic conversation with some of the state’s smartest women (including Washington’s first lady, Trudi Inslee), and access to silent auctions and cake grabs. And it all helps NARAL preserve abortion access for all Washington women. If they put me in charge, I’d rename it Easter for Abortionists and add a big brass band. (Safeco Field, 1250 First Ave S, First Base Terrace Club, prochoicewashington.org, 7–9 pm, $40–$120, all ages) by Cienna Madrid

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Any schmuck can tell a joke, but to be funny in print, you’ve got to know what you’re doing. Sam Lipsyte’s novels Home Land and The Ask are among the funniest American novels published in the last 10 years, and they’re also among the best-written. His new book, The Fun Parts, is a collection of stories about youth, the Holocaust, and Dungeons and Dragons. Lipsyte will read from Parts, and then local author Ryan Boudinot will host a Q&A after the reading, making this a banner evening for fans of awkward, funny fiction. (Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, hugohouse.org, 7:30 pm, $5) by Paul Constant

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The Stranger is having a mid-March party that does not involve getting hooted at by a shamrock-glasses-wearing frat dad! Our local music and beer fest will feature the Catheters (dormant since 2004, brain-rattling punk) (!!!), with Pleasureboaters (raucous art-rock), Wimps (catchy neurotic punk), La Luz (captivating surf pop), Prism Tats (dreamy lo-fi fuzz), and my own band Tacocat (once named “the best band to ever come out of Seattle” in a blurb that I wrote myself). Drink fine beers from more than 25 breweries! Eat at a food cart! Dance the winter away! We are going to have so much FUN, Seattle, don’t you dare miss it. (It's probably going to sell out, so get a ticket now.) (King’s Hall, 2929 27th Ave, penumbrabeerbash.com, 4 pm–midnight, $25 adv/$35 DOS SOLD OUT, 21+) by Emily Nokes

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