Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Politics / Sex Media Reports Confirm Rumored Existence of Dow Constantine's Penis
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, May 15, 2012 at 11:33 AM
Thanks to a stray email we can now confirm that Dow Constantine, King County Executive, has a penis and that Constantine used his penis to have sex with a lady. Constantine was widely believed to have a penis and to have used his penis to have sex with ladies as Constantine lives with a lady with whom he was widely believed to be having sex using his penis. However the stray email that confirmed the existence of Constantine's penis was not written by the woman with whom Constantine lives and was widely believed to be having sex. So we can now report that King County Executive Dow Constantine, age 50, has had sex with at least two ladies in the roughly thirty-five years that he has been capable of achieving and maintaining erections to the point of ejaculation.
Here's what we don't know: We don't know what sort of agreement Constantine has with the lady with whom he lives. Do they have an open relationship? Are they monogamish? Does Constantine having sex with other ladies violate the terms of his agreement with the lady with whom he lives? We don't know. Does the lady with whom Constantine lives have sex with other county executives? We don't know.
Two other things we do know: We know that there were no financial or political shenanigans. So there's no official misconduct to report. And Constantine isn't a Republican—that is, Constantine isn't a member of political party that seeks to regulate the private sexual conduct of other Americans, builds campaigns around the theme of "family values," and attacks opponents for their perceived sexual and moral failings. So there's no hypocrisy to report either.
Summing up: area man had sex with a lady and another lady might be mad at him. Or she might not. We don't know.
And didn't need to.
3
Doesn't surprise me as Dow clearly doesn't have any balls, otherwise he would have approved those Palestinian bus ads!
4
My first thought when hearing this "news report" is that it fucking isn't news of any sort. It isn't anyone else's business, nor should anyone be "reporting" on it. While some people enjoy hearing the gossip of other people's sex lives, just because someone is a politician, does not make their private life newsworthy. I really hope that he doesn't dignify this "news" by responding in any manner to any questions put to him by "reporters" about this non-event. I also hope the lady he lives with ignores the "reporters" as well.
5
Ugh, isn't that always how it goes? You elect a politician and it turns out they have a dick. So filthy! Maybe we need to screen for this sort of thing in the election! Maybe we need a constitutional amendment mandating emasculation for elected officials!
6
Here's what we know for certain:
Dow Constantine parks his Prius illegally in 30-minute loading zones in order to avoid paying for parking or using the very transit system for which he is responsible.
(Source: my own eyes.)
Dow Constantine parks his Prius illegally in 30-minute loading zones in order to avoid paying for parking or using the very transit system for which he is responsible.
(Source: my own eyes.)
7
Okay Dan,
“Constantine isn't a member of political party that seeks to regulate the private sexual conduct of other Americans, builds campaigns around the theme of "family values," and attacks its opponents for their perceived sexual and moral shortcomings.” --Really???
Let’s review the historical facts:
September 10, 1996 the US Senate passes DOMA under Democrat Tom Daschle’s leadership and sends it to Democrat Bill Clinton (the same Democrat who gave us DADT in 1993) to sign into law, which he does 11 days later.
Tell me again, which Federal laws enshrining discrimination against gays in the name of “family values” were signed into law by Republicans?
“Constantine isn't a member of political party that seeks to regulate the private sexual conduct of other Americans, builds campaigns around the theme of "family values," and attacks its opponents for their perceived sexual and moral shortcomings.” --Really???
Let’s review the historical facts:
September 10, 1996 the US Senate passes DOMA under Democrat Tom Daschle’s leadership and sends it to Democrat Bill Clinton (the same Democrat who gave us DADT in 1993) to sign into law, which he does 11 days later.
Tell me again, which Federal laws enshrining discrimination against gays in the name of “family values” were signed into law by Republicans?
8
Isn't that just fucking stupid? Sometimes Josh and Erica get so convinced their shit doesn't stink they post up the utterest nonsense. "Well, he's a county executive, so it's just like Reardon." What an asshole move by Josh to kick off his wobbly tenure at Crosscut.
11
I find Dow to be compellingly handsome and pretty sexy, and I say that as a girl who hasn't seen his penis.
12
@7: The senate under the leadership of Trent Lott. fify. How many republicans voted against DOMA, btw? I also noticed a trend in the 14 no votes on the bill in the senate. They all seemed to have D's next to their names for some reason...
13
there could be more to the story - we dont know. it's up to the press to ask the questions. i like DC and his policies, but if he was schlepping on taxpayer time or dime, it is news. minor story, but to say it's not news is not accurate.
15
probably enough to scuttle his ambitions to be governor, though. washington state is a blue haired pearl clutching school marm. we better start grooming some younger democrats for higher office or we're going to run out.
17
@14, he used to be very good most of the time, and can still be now and then for sure. Here's his legacy author page on the Stranger website. I think those awards were won quiiiiiite a while ago.
www.thestranger.com/seattle/Author?oid=1…
www.thestranger.com/seattle/Author?oid=1…
18
@12
I stand corrected (Wiki's table had me confused somehow... Not hard to do.) Daschle was not leader. But he did vote in favor of DOMA. Along with Biden, Murray and Reid.
I stand corrected (Wiki's table had me confused somehow... Not hard to do.) Daschle was not leader. But he did vote in favor of DOMA. Along with Biden, Murray and Reid.
21
Living in West Seattle for the last 3 years, and seeing Dow around the neighborhood, I can only report on one thing. He hangs out with some grade-a-high-class-make-your-eyes-bug-out women. Not sure if the women I saw him with were involved in this story, but, DAMN-I need to get into politics
24
Another thing we don't know:
Did Publicola bring the kiss of death over to Crosscut?
Because their "gee this may be newsworthy" approach to journalism is gonna fuck up what little Crosscut has going for it...
Did Publicola bring the kiss of death over to Crosscut?
Because their "gee this may be newsworthy" approach to journalism is gonna fuck up what little Crosscut has going for it...
25
Dan, there's no need to cause more grief than the original idiotic article did already. Why on earth did you post this piece? If Dow's actions have no political or financial consequences, just leave him alone. My respect for you has decreased 25%.
27
@22: It was not an official vehicle, so it was not exempt, dumbass.
In fact, it had an expired pay-parking receipt from a previous stop hanging in the window.
Facts remain: Dow doesn't use his own transit system, and he is perfectly willing to park in a loading zone for other than its intended purpose.
In fact, it had an expired pay-parking receipt from a previous stop hanging in the window.
Facts remain: Dow doesn't use his own transit system, and he is perfectly willing to park in a loading zone for other than its intended purpose.
28
Wait, what the fuck, Will? "Exempt plates" aren't actually exempt from parking restrictions, AFAIK, just from license fees. Double dumbass.
29
@13 Facepalm. As a Brooklyn resident, hearing (or reading) blatant misuse of Yiddish is like fingernails on a blackboard.
SCHTUPPING is the word you want, not SCHLEPPING. Sheesh...
SCHTUPPING is the word you want, not SCHLEPPING. Sheesh...
31
70% of other drivers do not have Dow's job, which carries with it some modicum of a moral responsibility to abide by parking rules that are designed to keep his city/county functioning, and to occasionally use the fucked-up transit system that is frankly his only serious responsibility as King County Executive (and of which he maintains a shocking ignorance).
32
Hell yes Dan, way to put that little shit josh in his place.
I just got an email from some girl that says she went out with josh, and that he has issues about his small penis, and that his insecurity was greatly compounded by the colossal failure of publicola. She thinks he had no reason to publish it but did so out of a desperate need for self-promotion because of his inadequacies as a man. I think this is newsworthy as josh is a public figure and ostensibly a journalist. Perhaps you could do some digging into the relation between his teeny penis and his "reporting." There are no doubt many other women who have been shorted by josh, I would like to see an article exploring that aspect of him, I think the public has a right to know. Please make sure you name all of the partners so that they can be publicly humiliated too.
I just got an email from some girl that says she went out with josh, and that he has issues about his small penis, and that his insecurity was greatly compounded by the colossal failure of publicola. She thinks he had no reason to publish it but did so out of a desperate need for self-promotion because of his inadequacies as a man. I think this is newsworthy as josh is a public figure and ostensibly a journalist. Perhaps you could do some digging into the relation between his teeny penis and his "reporting." There are no doubt many other women who have been shorted by josh, I would like to see an article exploring that aspect of him, I think the public has a right to know. Please make sure you name all of the partners so that they can be publicly humiliated too.
33
@31 He has a county of 1.8 million people to run, he has more important things to do than ride the bus in order to keep up appearances for you. And he doesn't have to sit there on the bus to understand the fucked up transit system, he's worked hard to improve our transit system for at least a decade and a half, so I bet he knows a hell of a lot more about it than you. Simms had himself chauffeured EVERYWHERE, on the county dime. And you're bitching about one time seeing Dow use a 30 minute load zone? What the fuck is your problem?
34
As an American voter, I am outraged that someone, somewhere might be having a more exciting sex life than I am.
35
@33: The Cult of Dow lashes out. Yeesh.
The King County government does very little of daily consequence except run the transit system.
And the only thing Dow's ever done about that clusterfuck is to orchestrate a middling political compromise for a band-aid $20 car tab, which was supposed to go hand-in-hand with a serious system restructure that prioritized improvements in operational efficiency. The agency has, in the absence of any leadership from Dow, completely botched that effort.
I saw him pull his entitled illegal-parking stunt in South Lake Union, or about 1.5 miles from his County offices. He obvious "knows a hell of a lot" about our transit system, as you say, in that he knew even such a short distance would be a total nightmare to travel on it. So where are all of these "improvements" you say he's worked so hard to bring?
If his time is so valuable that he has to drive (and park illegally) for such a short-distance trip, what about everybody else's time? Maybe he should fix the fucking transit system, since it's his job to do that!
Unfortunately, Dow Constantine is a vapid, ineffectual little hack, and I feel sad for Seattle Democrats so in denial about their crappy leadership that they need to rush to his defense.
The King County government does very little of daily consequence except run the transit system.
And the only thing Dow's ever done about that clusterfuck is to orchestrate a middling political compromise for a band-aid $20 car tab, which was supposed to go hand-in-hand with a serious system restructure that prioritized improvements in operational efficiency. The agency has, in the absence of any leadership from Dow, completely botched that effort.
I saw him pull his entitled illegal-parking stunt in South Lake Union, or about 1.5 miles from his County offices. He obvious "knows a hell of a lot" about our transit system, as you say, in that he knew even such a short distance would be a total nightmare to travel on it. So where are all of these "improvements" you say he's worked so hard to bring?
If his time is so valuable that he has to drive (and park illegally) for such a short-distance trip, what about everybody else's time? Maybe he should fix the fucking transit system, since it's his job to do that!
Unfortunately, Dow Constantine is a vapid, ineffectual little hack, and I feel sad for Seattle Democrats so in denial about their crappy leadership that they need to rush to his defense.
36
@35 The fact that you think the county government does very little of daily consequence besides run the transit system shows you don't know a damn thing about what you're talking about. I'm sorry that your sad little bus riding ass was so hurt that Dow parked in a 30 minute load zone. Perhaps one day you'll get over that and be able to move on with your life.
37
Hear hear! Constantine's penis is not immediately relevant unless he was elected on a pro- or anti-penis platform.
38
@36,
d.p. (aka "double penetration" does little except bitch about the transit system. He's Chief Troll on the Seattle Transit Blog.
d.p. (aka "double penetration" does little except bitch about the transit system. He's Chief Troll on the Seattle Transit Blog.
39
@36: Metro Transit accounts for roughly 1/5 of King County's budget this year, making it far and away the biggest budget item and the largest county-managed agency. It in no way disrespects the people at parks and recreation, the sheriff's department, the county courts, etc. to suggest that the transit system has a greater daily impact on how the cities and towns within the county function than any of them does.
"...your sad little bus riding ass..."
That this is an insult -- that it can be easily interpreted as a way to belittle, demean, and dismiss -- proves just how fucking bad Dow Constantine is at his job.
Well before his election, it was already obvious to me that Dow is a lame, uninspired, intellectual featherweight of a "leader." It only recently became obvious that he is also a hypocrite. But it seems all of those things make him perfectly suited to representing King County citizens such as yourself.
@38: I've never been called a "Chief Troll" before; it's oddly flattering! Unfortunately, it's also incorrect. A troll merely baits a thread, looking to inflame. I argue from facts and logic. That I point out uncomfortable truths about Seattle's transit mentality -- like, say, that our transit system is so pathetically implemented that even its presiding officer won't trust it to get from downtown to South Lake Union -- may be inconvenient for Seattle's ego inflation, but it's hardly "trolling."
"...your sad little bus riding ass..."
That this is an insult -- that it can be easily interpreted as a way to belittle, demean, and dismiss -- proves just how fucking bad Dow Constantine is at his job.
Well before his election, it was already obvious to me that Dow is a lame, uninspired, intellectual featherweight of a "leader." It only recently became obvious that he is also a hypocrite. But it seems all of those things make him perfectly suited to representing King County citizens such as yourself.
@38: I've never been called a "Chief Troll" before; it's oddly flattering! Unfortunately, it's also incorrect. A troll merely baits a thread, looking to inflame. I argue from facts and logic. That I point out uncomfortable truths about Seattle's transit mentality -- like, say, that our transit system is so pathetically implemented that even its presiding officer won't trust it to get from downtown to South Lake Union -- may be inconvenient for Seattle's ego inflation, but it's hardly "trolling."
42
@39
Does Bloomberg ride the subway? Can you provide a list of all the mayors and county executives who do ride their public transit on the jon, not including photo ops? It would help me understand why one guy seeing Constantine park illegally once is proof of KC's transit failure.
Does Bloomberg ride the subway? Can you provide a list of all the mayors and county executives who do ride their public transit on the jon, not including photo ops? It would help me understand why one guy seeing Constantine park illegally once is proof of KC's transit failure.
44
@42: A decade into his mayoral tenure, Bloomberg still reportedly takes the subway the preponderance of the time. Because it is simply the best way to get around; sitting in rush-hour traffic to travel down the east side of Manhattan would be stupid.
Mike Dukakis was making more of a political statement when he took the MBTA to work as governor in the '70s and '80s -- the system was neglected and disgusting at the time. Thirty years later, and thanks in no small part to his leadership, there is essentially zero class stigma against using public transit to get around in Boston.
@40: If attractive women find Dow's penis scintillating, then more power to them. I guess I have trouble imagining it being any less dull or ineffectual than the rest of him.
Mike Dukakis was making more of a political statement when he took the MBTA to work as governor in the '70s and '80s -- the system was neglected and disgusting at the time. Thirty years later, and thanks in no small part to his leadership, there is essentially zero class stigma against using public transit to get around in Boston.
@40: If attractive women find Dow's penis scintillating, then more power to them. I guess I have trouble imagining it being any less dull or ineffectual than the rest of him.
45
double penetration,
Don't flatter yourself. You're just a whiny, pathetic piece of shit little troll.
Nothing more.
Don't flatter yourself. You're just a whiny, pathetic piece of shit little troll.
Nothing more.
46
Oh, wait, @45, I just figured out that you're probably Jeff Welch.
You're not even worth debating, you incompetent asshole. Fuck off.
You're not even worth debating, you incompetent asshole. Fuck off.
47
For the record, Jeff is the kind of Metro driver who thinks that there's absolutely nothing wrong with Metro's route structure, frequency, and boarding or payment policies. He thinks the only thing that should be done to improve Metro is to give drivers 45-minute layover "recovery time" at the end of every run, so that they can continue taking 25 minutes too long to get anywhere with impunity.
I'll bet he still finds excuses to make everyone enter and exit through the front door like some po'dunk transit shuttle. Don't you, Jeff?
Driving for Metro is like an intensive education in how transit shouldn't work. It makes you the precise opposite of an "expert" in the field.
I'll bet he still finds excuses to make everyone enter and exit through the front door like some po'dunk transit shuttle. Don't you, Jeff?
Driving for Metro is like an intensive education in how transit shouldn't work. It makes you the precise opposite of an "expert" in the field.
48
For the record - double penetration is a troll who believes he speaks for others, including All Humankind.
And for the record - (in response to #46, line 1) "duh", and (in response to #47 pp. 2) "no".
Any more doubts that d.p.'s favorite troll topic is public transportation? Doubt thee no more.
And for the record - (in response to #46, line 1) "duh", and (in response to #47 pp. 2) "no".
Any more doubts that d.p.'s favorite troll topic is public transportation? Doubt thee no more.
49
Also for the record, "d.p." happen to be my actual initials. Your incessant puerile interpretation of them might be amusing for a 13-year-old, but it's a bit embarrassing coming from a middle-aged fat-ass such as yourself.
50
so, I assume you won't be voting for Constantine in the next election, d.p... was that it or did you think that this bit of banality added to the banality responsible for Dan's post would just get us all on board with some form of impeachment? the internet is so confusing.
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