Friday, April 13, 2012
The Ladies What if Jan Brewer Died Two Weeks Ago?
Posted by Cienna Madrid on Fri, Apr 13, 2012 at 2:33 PM
One of my ovulating cousins lives in Arizona and is horrified that she can now be declared pregnant for sex she hasn't even enjoyed yet, thanks to the work of Governor Jan Brewer (and other state officials), who calls the new state law a "common sense" approach to protecting the rights of future hypothetical fetuses.
Okay. Fine. But I think if Jan Brewer can preemptively declare Arizona women pregnant (ghost fetuses!), it's only fair that Arizona women have the authority to preemptively declare her dead. Obviously, I'm not advocating that someone kill Jan Brewer or that she off herself (although she's also considering allowing guns in government buildings, also foolish), just that some good Samaritan draw up Jan Brewer's death certificate, date it today, and notarize that shit. Fuck, pre-date it two weeks ago and this ridiculous, time traveling abortion law wouldn't have a spider-veined leg to stand on!
After all, Brewer is destined to die, eventually. And wouldn't it be better for the entire state of Arizona (the women-loving part, especially) if it happened sooner rather than later?
1
I recommend you pull that article before it gets indexed by Google. There's just no right way to read it.
2
there are mature ways to handle the conversation about jan brewer's shitty plan. this is not one of them.
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@1,2
She explicitly says that no one should kill Jan Brewer, but that if she can decide when to consider women to be pregnant, then we should decide when to consider her dead. It doesn't change physical reality. Think of the societies that declare someone dead to them – not dead physically, but emotionally.
Of course, I shouldn’t be speaking for Cienna. So for my part, I’ll just point out that at worst Cienna put crosshairs on a map.
She explicitly says that no one should kill Jan Brewer, but that if she can decide when to consider women to be pregnant, then we should decide when to consider her dead. It doesn't change physical reality. Think of the societies that declare someone dead to them – not dead physically, but emotionally.
Of course, I shouldn’t be speaking for Cienna. So for my part, I’ll just point out that at worst Cienna put crosshairs on a map.
7
I wish we could pre-emptively declare the entire Republican Party (politically) dead. I guess we'll just have to wait until November.
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@5
It doesn't matter now. It's been indexed.
But I will say that if you have to explain it, you've lost.
It doesn't matter now. It's been indexed.
But I will say that if you have to explain it, you've lost.
11
I love that time and money is being wasted on hypothetical american children, when in other parts of the world we're doing shit like this...
http://ipsnews.net/news.asp?idnews=10742…
http://ipsnews.net/news.asp?idnews=10742…
13
As a former Seattlelite, there are some great things about living in Arizona (sunshine). However, Jan Brewer is so offensive her actions are beyond reason. We have a whacked out legislature and a governor willing to sign anything that makes her look even more right-wing. I guess now you can get pregnant before your employer tells you they won't cover your birth control. Ugh!
14
Wait.
If she can be declared pregnant for sex she hasn't had, and there's a 20 week period, could she be declared a terrorist if her egg doesn't implant itself when her employer poisons her with unregulated chemicals in the workplace, or will the Stormtroopers arrest her employer?
Note to self: disinvest in firms doing business in Arizona.
If she can be declared pregnant for sex she hasn't had, and there's a 20 week period, could she be declared a terrorist if her egg doesn't implant itself when her employer poisons her with unregulated chemicals in the workplace, or will the Stormtroopers arrest her employer?
Note to self: disinvest in firms doing business in Arizona.
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And hte best part is Brewer's son lives in the State Mental Hospital at the cost to the tax payers and there is questioning as to whether she has been cashing his social security checks this entire time. Not like she is footing the cost for raising her kid!
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The GOP Preemptive War on Caterpillars started even before the larval stage...
http://membracid.wordpress.com/2012/04/0…
http://membracid.wordpress.com/2012/04/0…
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@1, +1. Get rid of it. Some dickhead in Portland made a similar blog post about Sheriff Joe a month or so ago, and he and his roomies ended up hosting a pre-dawn raid by the FBI a couple of weeks later.
18
You know that length of pregnancy is judged by last period, right? It's the only date you know for sure. People lie about when they had sex all the time, or forget, or have sex every day and only one time it resulted in conception, etc. I don't really understand the fuss here.
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I wholeheartedly feel that this post is in extremely bad taste, especially after the Gabrielle Giffords tragedy. Cienna, please pull this.
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@15 You know in order to attack Jan Brewer legitimately for her bat-shit crazy actions, we need to stick to the facts. #1 Her son is 46 yrs old. #2 He was declared criminally insane in a sexual assault case and remanded to the State Hospital over 20 years ago #3 All criminally insane people remanded to the State Hospital are there at the cost of the tax payer. #4 The investigation into social security fraud was closed without charges. At issue was the period between 1990-1995 when he was committed and the social security payments were supposed to go to the hospital. He was ineligible for social security after that point due to a federal law change about the eligibility of committed patients. It hasn't been "this entire time".
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Booo. We don't think this shit is funny when Republicans do it, it isn't funny when you do it. Slog (and Cienna) would be shitting the bed if some right-wing blog wrote this exact some post about Gregoire. And rightly so.
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@22, I think that Ariona has already spontaneously aborted.
I think that the practice of using the first day of the last menstrual cycle is no longer in use, and hasn't been for at least 20 years (at least by OBs in Minnesota and Illinois, and rural Illinois is a far cry from cutting edge medically speaking). Yes, that date is inquired about, in order to get an idea for when the fertile window occurred, and the day of optimal feertility is the guestimated conception date. But the conception date is considered day 1, and the 40 weeks starts from that date.
So Arizona is using a common misperception as justification for advancing the cut of date for an abortion by 2 weeks. Why the shell game, why not just acknowledge what they're doing?
I think that the practice of using the first day of the last menstrual cycle is no longer in use, and hasn't been for at least 20 years (at least by OBs in Minnesota and Illinois, and rural Illinois is a far cry from cutting edge medically speaking). Yes, that date is inquired about, in order to get an idea for when the fertile window occurred, and the day of optimal feertility is the guestimated conception date. But the conception date is considered day 1, and the 40 weeks starts from that date.
So Arizona is using a common misperception as justification for advancing the cut of date for an abortion by 2 weeks. Why the shell game, why not just acknowledge what they're doing?
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@23 LMP is still used for determining gestational age by both OBs and fertility specialists in Wisconsin. And Chicago. I imagine that it is still used in lot of places.
Arizona is just following the lead of doctors all.over.the.country who use LMP.
what is important here is that arizona just banned abortions after 18 weeks. making it into a "declaring pregnancy before had sex" outrage is stupid, given that so many doctors still use it and consider it the standard.
Arizona is just following the lead of doctors all.over.the.country who use LMP.
what is important here is that arizona just banned abortions after 18 weeks. making it into a "declaring pregnancy before had sex" outrage is stupid, given that so many doctors still use it and consider it the standard.
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Oh, stop whining, people. If you're not mad enough to feel what Cienna articulated here, you're doing it wrong.
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Stupid post that should never have been made. This is the same kind of thing The Stranger vilifies conservatives for all the time. Stupid, stupid post.
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If I had a sister in prison, and one in Arizona, I'd try to break the one out of Arizona first. *
*with apologies to Charles Frazier
*with apologies to Charles Frazier
32
Unfortunate post. I'm certainly as mad as Cienna about that terrible governor and that terrible legislation, but I reserve my right to "whine" about commentary that would be outrageous to us if the tables were turned. If we complain about "false equivalency", we need to avoid being equivalent.
33
Deeply stupid post. But it's encouraging that so many people are complaining about it. Conservatives just go along with their wingnuts.
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Should have been worded differently - but so should that 'deeply stupid' law have been.
I'd suggest something along the lines of
"What if Jan Brewer were pre-emptively declared a Non-Person?"
Similar to what she's doing to those of Mexican ancestry in AZ.
But I do like the idea of a back-dated certificate..............
I'd suggest something along the lines of
"What if Jan Brewer were pre-emptively declared a Non-Person?"
Similar to what she's doing to those of Mexican ancestry in AZ.
But I do like the idea of a back-dated certificate..............
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I would say that this sort of post is almost the equivalent of liberals censuring anti-gay or anti-women conservatives for getting caught in a sex scandal, but not coming down as hard on pro-gay or feminist politicians for the same thing. The crucial point here is that the target of criticism is someone who is not practicing what she preaches.
However, there is no way around the fact that this at least registers as a call to arms to crazy people in the same way that that fucking map did, if probably not to the same degree
However, however, one should consider the audience. Palin painting crosshairs on a map that millions of idiot gunowners are going to drool over is distinctly different from Cienna's satire being read by a bunch of whinging liberals, at least half of which would probably never even consider shooting another human being under any circumstances.
However, there is no way around the fact that this at least registers as a call to arms to crazy people in the same way that that fucking map did, if probably not to the same degree
However, however, one should consider the audience. Palin painting crosshairs on a map that millions of idiot gunowners are going to drool over is distinctly different from Cienna's satire being read by a bunch of whinging liberals, at least half of which would probably never even consider shooting another human being under any circumstances.
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Cienna, pull this post. It's a bad idea on so many levels. Goldy wandered into similar territory a few weeks ago.
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18, the fuss is that they're running a shell game on the dates at which abortion is legal. They're moving it two weeks up, and claiming that it's just following common medical practice. That's cutting the margin very fine, giving a narrow window of opportunity in which a woman can discover that her fetus has serious abnormalities, choose what to do, and if she decides to, schedule and have the procedure.
All that said, Cienna needs to cut the crap and pull this post.
All that said, Cienna needs to cut the crap and pull this post.
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