Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Video of the Day Lunchtime Quickie: Christian Side Hugs
Posted by Kelly O on Tue, Nov 24, 2009 at 12:05 PM
New in Super Cwazy Cwistians™: The Side Hug! The CSH is especially great for Christian teens who should never be allowed to enage in a full-frontal hug. With full frontal hugs, young people risk accidently touching the fully-clothed crotch of another human. I'm glad there's a rap song about it. Hip hop has the power to change the minds of teens everywhere.
1
This is the first song I've heard since I got to work and I think it's ruined my entire day. Thanks Kelly.
2
Wow, there's so much Eminem's 'Superman' in this song... You'd think they wouldn't listen to Eminem enough to steal his style for the first verse.
4
Notice they still use the standard police siren and gun-firing sounds to punctuate their points. Message: Hugging = bad, shooting people = godly.
5
I am too lazy right now to figure out whether this is for real or a parody. Either way, I definitely want to see more of this group's videos...
7
I knew a girl in high school who had to do that! Except her parents made them hug spoon-ways, like with her in back hugging him. They lasted way longer than I thought.
8
hahahhahahahahhahah.
The Christian Side Hug is very helpful in keeping your guy friends from feeling your boner when you hug them.
The Christian Side Hug is very helpful in keeping your guy friends from feeling your boner when you hug them.
9
In reference to those front "they'll send you to hell" hugs, they rap, "Jesus never hugged anybody like that!" Yeah, cuz the bible said so? WTF?
10
@4, 6 my thoughts exactly!
frontal hugging = evil ... "send you home in a coma" (sirens) = a-ok!
sounds about right.
frontal hugging = evil ... "send you home in a coma" (sirens) = a-ok!
sounds about right.
11
I predict Dan will be writing a Youth Pastor column about these guys in the not too distant future.
The gun shots, police sirens, and the "rough riders" stuff, how delightfully horrible.
The gun shots, police sirens, and the "rough riders" stuff, how delightfully horrible.
12
The side-hug leaves open the possibility of the "accidental" over-the-shoulder boob-grab. The front-hug can't match that. You win this round, side-hug.
13
@ 9, seriously hugs are anti-christian? Aren't there bigger issues?
I have no idea what Angelina Jolie or a "Democratic Shift in Congress" have to do with it either.
I have no idea what Angelina Jolie or a "Democratic Shift in Congress" have to do with it either.
17
I'm looking forward to their next single: "Wanna Save Yourself? Saddleback!"!
"I say "save yourself" you say "saddleback!" Save yourself? Saddleback! Save yourself? Saddleback!" (ad nauseum, er santorum).
"I say "save yourself" you say "saddleback!" Save yourself? Saddleback! Save yourself? Saddleback!" (ad nauseum, er santorum).
18
The police sirens guns going off are way more appropriate than hugging someone.
And I doubt they have any idea whether or not Jesus gave frontal hugs.
Either way, best lunchtime quickie ever.
And I doubt they have any idea whether or not Jesus gave frontal hugs.
Either way, best lunchtime quickie ever.
19
well, this is silly. but the side hug thing is kind of the result of the youth pastor watch culture.
21
@13. That part stuck out to me too. I guess a Democratic shift in Congress is bad in their mind, so they're...making reference to it without any lead-in or follow-up...?
Hmm, an entire stage of people afraid to give a full hug to someone else. Let's see... virgin, virgin, virgin, forever virgin, virgin, virgin, asexual virgin, virgin. At least they probably won't breed if they're that terrified of the opposite sex or sex itself, right?
Hmm, an entire stage of people afraid to give a full hug to someone else. Let's see... virgin, virgin, virgin, forever virgin, virgin, virgin, asexual virgin, virgin. At least they probably won't breed if they're that terrified of the opposite sex or sex itself, right?
22
Also, I forgot to mention the "rough riders" part. I love the take on it that this article on the Boston Globe site takes, suggesting maybe these guys should look up their ironic choice of words on Urban Dictionary.
I assume they're referring to the guys that everyone associates Teddy Roosevelt with. Even so, they have no business associating themselves with that troop of badasses. Or at least ,the badass that lead them, anyway.
I assume they're referring to the guys that everyone associates Teddy Roosevelt with. Even so, they have no business associating themselves with that troop of badasses. Or at least ,the badass that lead them, anyway.
23
I am just happy to be introduced to the new fad of wearing an extra tshirt around the neck without your arms in it. My kids will be so happy when I take them to school tomorrow.
25
This is a great example of the ways that evangelical media culture deploys irony as a defensive weapon to retain the allegiance of younger generations of evangelicals. You see this all the time when you hang out with them. They LOVE making jokes about Christian culture.
This ironic humor is a way of demonstrating self-awareness, a mark of authenticity. They love making jokes about how youth pastors all have awkward goatees and soul patches as lame attempts of signifying down-to-earth, contemporary attitudes. Youth pastors themselves make these jokes, and in doing so, they acknowledge skepticism of their young adherents, and general society. Yet the mocking functions to suspend that skepticism. It’s similar to the way TV and advertising often poke fun at the conventions of TV and advertising. Think of Mark Crispin Miller’s argument that “TV protects its ads from mockery by doing all the mocking, thereby posing as an ally to the
incredulous spectator.”
SImilarly, preemptively mocking aspects of the evangelical subculture allows evangelicals to continue to propogate many of the same traits they mock. The absurd attitude towards sexuality is noted, chuckled about, but rarely contested.
This ironic humor is a way of demonstrating self-awareness, a mark of authenticity. They love making jokes about how youth pastors all have awkward goatees and soul patches as lame attempts of signifying down-to-earth, contemporary attitudes. Youth pastors themselves make these jokes, and in doing so, they acknowledge skepticism of their young adherents, and general society. Yet the mocking functions to suspend that skepticism. It’s similar to the way TV and advertising often poke fun at the conventions of TV and advertising. Think of Mark Crispin Miller’s argument that “TV protects its ads from mockery by doing all the mocking, thereby posing as an ally to the
incredulous spectator.”
SImilarly, preemptively mocking aspects of the evangelical subculture allows evangelicals to continue to propogate many of the same traits they mock. The absurd attitude towards sexuality is noted, chuckled about, but rarely contested.
27
It... doesn't... go.
It has sirens and gunshots and a MIDI sample of Darth Vader's Imperial March (I'm surprised I'm the first one to mention that; I hope I'm not the first one to catch it). It's like wearing a suit jacket over a football jersey with rainbow parachute pants. Did a computer write this? Or maybe a Hollywood exec? "Oh, it's rap, so it has to have gunshots and police sirens in order to be 'legitimate'. And let's throw in that scary Darth Vader music to be 'bad-bottomed'. Oh yes, the young people of today will find that to be very groovy!"
It has sirens and gunshots and a MIDI sample of Darth Vader's Imperial March (I'm surprised I'm the first one to mention that; I hope I'm not the first one to catch it). It's like wearing a suit jacket over a football jersey with rainbow parachute pants. Did a computer write this? Or maybe a Hollywood exec? "Oh, it's rap, so it has to have gunshots and police sirens in order to be 'legitimate'. And let's throw in that scary Darth Vader music to be 'bad-bottomed'. Oh yes, the young people of today will find that to be very groovy!"
29
Christians aren't even allowed to do a proper hug? Maybe this is one of the reasons church attendance is on the decline. How is this a relevant life lesson for anyone?
31
@30 I get that it is a little tongue in cheek, but they'd never admit to it because that is verboten as well ;)
32
I'm a public school district employee. They made all of us sit through an asinine video on how we should never hug the students (I never have any contact with students), and what types of side-hugs are okay when a kid is clingy or whatever. I'm surprised they didn't use this video.
Like I'd ever touch a kid voluntarily anyway. Those things are walking Petri dishes.
Like I'd ever touch a kid voluntarily anyway. Those things are walking Petri dishes.
34
This rap group can't be for real. Can it?
"I'm a Rough Rider filled with Christ Love"
Isn't a Rough Rider a Studded Condom?
"I'm a Rough Rider filled with Christ Love"
Isn't a Rough Rider a Studded Condom?
35
I think Kevin's giving them too much credit. I don't think they're "kidding on the square." I think they're serious.
36
@34 thanks, thanks a lot. Now for probably the rest of my life I'll be fighting the urge to refer to semen as "christ love" out loud.
38
i'm gonna frontal hug Big Jeezy the next time we bump into each other. He hates that, but hey, that's how I roll.
39
There's also this video regarding the "Big 'M'" It's a toss up which is worse. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esy2b7qA9…
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