Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Friday, November 13, 2009
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz / Breaking News "30 Nude Photos, 8 Sex Tapes of Carrie Prejean Surface"
Posted by David Schmader on Fri, Nov 13, 2009 at 2:55 PM
Unlike yesterday, today's subject line is not a joke. It is from Radar.com:
Stripped of her crown, Prejean sued the Miss California USA pageant but reportedly settled after the sex tape surfaced. She called the sex tape the biggest mistake of her life.Now a RadarOnline.com investigation has uncovered that there are SEVEN more “biggest mistakes” of her life — all of them solo performances, just like the one sex tape that the religious beauty queen has admitted to. And there are 30 photos of Carrie, most topless, some showing everything, and most taken by Carrie using her reflection in a mirror.
On one tape Carrie is wearing just a flowing white blouse as she touches her own body in an alluring manner. Carrie can be heard moaning on a few of the tapes.
Gold-star question from Paul Constant: "Are we allowed to refer to her as a porn star yet?"
Yes. Yes, we are.
Also: Carrie Prejean's book tour has been cancelled.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Comedy / ??!! / Sex / Life / Religion / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Carrie Prejean Found Dead in New Jersey Motel Room!
Posted by David Schmader on Thu, Nov 12, 2009 at 12:56 PM
Just kidding about that headline, but holy crap is Carrie Prejean's ongoing downward spiral a wonder to behold.
Hot on the heels of her View grilling and idiotically aborted appearance on Larry King Live, Prejean has abruptly pulled out of a splashy speaking gig. From TMZ:
TMZ has learned Carrie Prejean just pulled out of a talk she was supposed to give this afternoon at the Capitol Hill Club in Washington D.C.—an exclusive club for Republicans only.An insider at the Capitol Hill Club tells TMZ Carrie canceled five minutes before she was supposed to speak because her camp wanted to avoid a repeat of last night's "Larry King Live" fiasco — when she almost walked off the set.
Carrie faced a fresh wave of criticism this morning after her former hookup told us she wanted him to lie about her sex tape and tell people she was underage when she filmed it ... when she was really 20-years-old.
Also on TMZ, some damning anti-Prejean testimony from Miss California USA president Keith Lewis:
"The public is finally getting a glimpse of the real Carrie Prejean who lives in her own delusional world. The childish behavior, her negative attitude, the sarcasm and condescending tone, the disrespect and continual lying she is demonstrating now is only a fraction of what we endured during her reign and after. Anyone who buys her book is supporting a woman who is actually the opposite of everything she claims to be. I sincerely hope she is able to get the psychological help I believe she has shown to clearly need."
Don't forget, Prejean's whole horrible week was originally supposed to function as publicity for her new book, the full title of which is Still Standing: The Untold Story of My Fight Against Gossip, Hate, and Political Attacks, which currently ranks #701 on Amazon's Bestsellers List—a gratifyingly ridiculous position for a book whose "author" has been on a headline-making weeklong press blitz. From the book's inside flap:
Carrie Prejean endured the hellish nightmare that the liberal media can inflict on anyone who disagrees with their agenda, but her faith, courage, and conviction have made her a role model for how we can stare down the bullies of political correctness and reclaim our God-given rights to freedom of speech, thought, and conscience.
And that was written before the events of this week. What a wonderful world we live in. Now please enjoy what for me is the ultimate image of the whole Carrie Prejean saga—a photo taken by the boyfriend for whom Prejean diddled herself on camera, which accomplishes the amazing task of making a thin, pretty, ostentatiously "Christian" woman look like a fat slut.
Carrie Prejean, you are a national treasure.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Transportation / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Seattle's Crappiest Bus Route
Posted by Unpaid Intern on Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 3:40 PM
By news intern Garrett McCulloch
I pretty much always have a crappy bus ride between my apartment on Queen Anne and the Stranger offices here on Capitol Hill—wait, ride downtown, wait some more, transfer, ride to up the hill. All to travel about two short miles. But today I decided to jump on the #8 along Denny. No lolly-gagging downtown! No getting stabbed and robbed at Third and Pike! It would be way faster this way, right?
The bus didn't show up on time. Or 10 minutes late. Or ever. I ended up taking the next scheduled bus after hanging around for half an hour. I could have walked faster.
I started thinking back—the #8 has been late literally every time I've tried to ride it in my life. So I'm hereby nominating it for Worst Bus in the City. Always late, always in traffic, and 6,000 stops along the way. It's definitely up there with the "mobile patchwork" of crackheads and vomit that is the #7.
Let this legally binding poll decide the issue once and for all:
??!! / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I Seem to be Sensing a Theme Here...
Posted by Adrian Ryan on Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 10:40 AM
I didn't want to say anything earlier...but, um...
I'm not sure WHAT I'm just saying, but I'm just saying.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz WTFXMAS
Posted by Chicago Fan on Mon, Nov 2, 2009 at 7:12 PM
So, just something to think about while you're not obsessing about who will be running your city and county.
I'm sitting here at Chez Bruneau watching what Ring Lardner rightly called the World's Serious (and it's so sad to see Raul "Raooool" Ibanez in a Philadelphia uniform instead of a Mariners or Cubs one) and there are already ads for Christmas bullshit. From different stores. Not just one outlier: Xmas is already sitting on our chests preparing to stick its commercial . . . interests . . . right down to the gag reflex.
Now, I know (hey Fnarf!) that this World Series is the latest one ever scheduled (first one scheduled in advance to play in November). Nonetheless. Christmas ads should wait until only winter sports—football, basketball, and hockey—are on TV.
Discuss.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Bright as a New Penny
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Thu, Oct 29, 2009 at 9:45 AM
- usmint.gov
- Brains AND brawn! Hel-LO, Abe!
Speaking of Abe Lincoln, have you seen the new penny, a.k.a. "Formative Years in Indiana"? Here we have "a [studly! Look at those arms] young Lincoln reading [see?! Reading is sexy!] while taking a break from working as a rail splitter [tell me "rail splitter" is unequal to "hot"! YOU ARE WRONG!] in Indiana [no comment]."
Elsewhere in bright new pennies, we have "Birth and Early Childhood in Kentucky" (a.k.a. My Cute Log Cabin), "Professional Life in Illinois" (a.k.a. Why Are My Legs So Long?! I'm Freaking Out!!!), and "Presidency in Washington, DC" (zzzzzzzzzzzz).
As you were, fellow citizens.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Panic / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Think Your Job Is Boring?
Posted by Grant Brissey on Thu, Oct 15, 2009 at 12:57 PM
Ten years ago today Nicholas White was maybe bored too, so he went for a cigarette and got trapped in an elevator for 41 hours.
h/t: Wired.com
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Politics / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz What The Fuck Are These Charter Amendments?!?
Posted by Unpaid Intern on Wed, Oct 7, 2009 at 3:41 PM
By news intern Garrett McCulloch
Your ballot, which you should really use for voting, will be sent to your mailbox on October 16. You probably have some idea already of who you'll vote for for county executive, mayor, city council... and—wait, charter amendments? What the fuck are these?
Whenever the county wants to change its charter (basically the county's constitution), the changes are put to a public vote. Usually the amendments just clean up unnecessary language or other little technical issues. There are four this year (and one of them, the fourth one, is kind of important):
Charter Amendment No. 1, Transitory Provisions: When the King County government merged with Metro in 1992, a bunch of stuff was put into the county charter to help the merger along. The merger is complete, so these provisions are basically obsolete.
Charter Amendment No. 2, Work Programs and Allotments: A section of the charter refers to budget processes established in 1969 that the county doesn't use anymore. This repeals that section.
Charter Amendment No. 3, Charter Review: Every ten years, the county executive appoints a commission that recommends charter amendments (just like these). This amendment would require the county council to confirm the executive's appointees.
Charter Amendment No. 4, High Conservation Value Properties: Way down at the bottom is the one you need to pay attention to. This makes it a lot harder for the county to sell off or otherwise change areas designated as open space. Changes would have to pass the council by a seven-of-nine supermajority and the county would have to schedule public hearings.
That's all. Hope you're still awake.
Monday, September 28, 2009
History / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Thanks a Lot, Army Boat Army.
Posted by Lindy West on Mon, Sep 28, 2009 at 3:46 PM
- VELKOMMEN TIL POULSBO
Poulsbo, up until World War II, had retained Norwegian as its primary language. However, during World War II, the military constructed about 300 residential units to provide housing for workers at the nearby Puget Sound Naval Shipyard, located in Bremerton, Washington. The population of Poulsbo almost tripled over three years, and the diversification of the population led to the dominance of English as the primary language.
Give me my weird, insular, Norwegian-speaking enclave back, stupid army boat army!!
Thankfully, Poulsbo still has much to offer IN THE WAY OF TREATS:
- Yes.
Photos and excellent Poulsbo research courtesy Meags. Grandpa's Treats for sale at Marina Market, which also has an entire aisle (plus two end-caps!) of JUST LICORICE. Poulsbo, be my wife.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Theater / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Text Message from NYC
Posted by Brendan Kiley on Wed, Sep 23, 2009 at 10:32 AM
This came last night from Implied Violence, who are performing at the Dutch/U.S. New Island Festival in NYC:
We just had champagne with [REDACTED] at Art International Radio. We are recording there tomorrow. She tried to get Ryan drugs and gave us a benjamin.
The enfants terribles are taking their 'tudes on the road.
I redacted the name—the person is a major figure at PS 1 and MOMA and has done a lot of nice things for artists I don't want to get her in trouble. (Let's hope somebody returns the favor one day.)
Here's some video of Flinch Not and Give Not Back, the little kernel IV started at Robert Wilson's Watermill Center on Long Island that has grown into whatever IV is doing in New York right now which will grow into something IV threatens to inflict on Seattle sometime soon. (Those things on the man's chest in the beginning? Leeches.)
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Here Is a Story About My Family.
Posted by Lindy West on Tue, Sep 22, 2009 at 11:59 AM
- What's up with your peehole, baby?
Thanks, family.
On a related note, I had just spent the TWO PREVIOUS HOURS defending myself to miscellaneous relatives, eyebrows raised, about my “racy” column in this paper: the fuck-words, the drinkiness, the too-blue comedy, the buttholes. Maybe so, relatives. Maybe so. But never, ever, have I told someone I love that their face looks like a lady’s pee-spout. NEVER!
Buttholes, all of you. (I love you stupid buttholes.)
Friday, September 18, 2009
Chow / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz The Wee Chippy
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Fri, Sep 18, 2009 at 2:48 PM
You like best-of lists? Of course you do. Everybody does. Wait, wake up! Here. Wait, you nodded off again. Look at #12! There's a fish-and-chips place in Scotland called the Wee Chippy. I'd like to take you there someday. I can already hear the bagpipes! Sweet dreams.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Visual Art / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz A Thing That Does Not Inspire Thought
Posted by Jen Graves on Thu, Sep 17, 2009 at 3:49 PM
It's a combination of this really being about nothing and fatigue from a recent local case that was about something but still inspired fatigue in the end.
I just got this press release:
Controversial Artist Curates Himself onto The Frye Art Museum’s WallsSeattle, WA, September 17, 2009. Artist Mat Benote continues to leave his mark on Museums around the world. He left another piece of “Life’s Puzzle” at the Frye earlier this week. Since mid-August, Benote’s sprawling polyptych has been divided and hung as separate pieces in other prominent museums from the massive MFAH in Houston to Missoula’s boutique style MAM, and in Omaha’s Joslyn Museum which has included Benote’s piece in its permanent collection. Benote’s antics have been discussed in all the usual art blog forums, drawing both admiration and scorn. Is this a vandal trying to desecrate the walls of some our best known art institutions, or is it an artist’s attempt to contribute what he feels is something compelling to the art world? Is he just another egocentric artist seeking more attention than he deserves?Of course, Benote wants his work to be seen, but he’s also giving something back to the museums he must hold in high esteem. According to his website, Benote’s intent is to give something back to museums that have, “shown a strong commitment to their local community.”
All of the museums he has hit, including the Kemper in Kansas City, the MCA Denver, London’s Saatchi Gallery and the St Louis Art Museum, have met the artist’s criteria of supporting local artists, offering free days, and collaborating with one another. This approach could be seen as vandalism or artistic altruism, and a compelling case for either the former or the latter could be made. After all, one could argue that the security guards might be reprimanded for having let someone place his work on the walls they are paid to protect.The latest section of panels from “Life’s Puzzle” was placed in plain view at the Frye Art Museum, bringing the total number of museums hit to ten. The piece is an ambitious style mash-up that blends both very personal and, at the same time, ecumenical images while merging pop art, graffiti, and fine art. It’s unknown whether these individual displays will ever be seen in their unified and perhaps intended form, but given the chutzpah and talent on display, Mat Benote is an artist worth watching.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Glenn Beck's Tongue...
Posted by Kelly O on Thu, Sep 17, 2009 at 1:42 PM
Apparently, some other people see it too. Whew.
As you were.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Life / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Observation of the Day
Posted by Brendan Kiley on Tue, Sep 1, 2009 at 11:32 AM
there's something different in the air this week... something's been cleaned out, a little rain has swept away months of grit and sweat, there's a clearness and a simplicity to the streets, to the sounds of the city are calmer and softer... something's missing, and i like its absence... what is it?the burners are gone. can you sense it? there's not a single burner left in this town.
From Slog correspondent xom. Photo courtesy of Laughing Squid.
Sex / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz / The Weather The Snuggie Sutra
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Tue, Sep 1, 2009 at 9:18 AM
- thesnuggiesutra.com
- "You know you like it all cuddly!"
Snuggie season is almost upon us! Prepare with your loved one by reviewing the material found here.
One question: Why so heterocentrist? Hmmmmm, Snuggie Sutra? Clearly—or at least as much as for anyone—Snuggiesex was made for the gays.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Theater / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Catch Me If You CAN'T!!!: Behind the Scenes
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Mon, Aug 31, 2009 at 5:04 PM
Go backstage with ensemble members Karl Warden and Kyle Vaughn as they talk about the show, days off and fill us in on the "dollar Friday" tradition at The 5th.
IF YOU DARE.
??!! / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Big in Japan
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Mon, Aug 31, 2009 at 9:15 AM
It's dorodango! They are shiny mud balls.
- dorodango.com
- YOU WISH YOU WERE THIS ROUND AND SHINY AND MADE OF MUD! I RULE!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Sex / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I Got an MP3 Powered Vibrator in the Mail Today!
Posted by Kelly O on Fri, Aug 28, 2009 at 4:20 PM
Now I need your help. Oh, won't you please help?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Late Voters Are McGinn Voters
Posted by Dominic Holden on Tue, Aug 25, 2009 at 4:16 PM
He's nearly 1,000 votes ahead—his biggest lead yet.
Seattle Mayor
Mike McGinn: 38148 — 27.64%
Joe Mallahan: 37169 — 26.94%
This batch of results doesn't change anything, but it does serve a lesson for a city holding its first all-mail primary election and getting ready for its first all-mail general election: late voters are McGinn voters (they're also early voters). More results here.
Sex / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Website of the Day
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Tue, Aug 25, 2009 at 9:05 AM
It's entirely SFW. The layout looks like it might be an organic-produce delivery website, and here's some sample verbiage:
We are the first and only Sex Toy Recycling Program that is nationally recognized as a Green Certified Business. Ninety percent (90%) of items we receive are recycled by material specific recycling centers. To clarify, the rubber, silicone, hard plastics, metals, motors, e-waste, and packaging are all separated and sent to designated recycling facilities...
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Sports / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Seahawks/Chargers Preseason Open Thread
Posted by Jonah Spangenthal-Lee on Sat, Aug 15, 2009 at 7:02 PM
Time to get that first look at Aaron Curry, TJ Houshmandzadeh, Cory Redding, and our new zone blocking system!
I'll be announcing the 2009 Slog fantasy league members later this week. If you still want in and haven't emailed me, do so post-haste. Send me a paragraph or two listing your fantasy football experience (did you have a team last year? Who did you have?), and your Slog handle (if you have one).
Friday, August 14, 2009
Media / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Reader's Digest Got Jokes!
Posted by Lindy West on Fri, Aug 14, 2009 at 4:07 PM
For your consideration: "The Top Ten Jokes in America"
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Larry Phillips And Jeanne Kohl-Welles Wasted One Of My Cell Minutes
Posted by Unpaid Intern on Fri, Aug 14, 2009 at 3:57 PM
By news intern Garrett McCulloch
I got my second call of the day this afternoon from some toll-free 866 number. I picked it up this time, and it was my state Senator Jeanne Kohl-Welles! And she wanted me to vote for Larry Phillips for King County Executive! Never mind that I mailed my ballot days ago, and voted for one of the many non-Larry Phillipses for county executive (and no, it wasn't her).
But wait, aren't annoying auto-calls to cell phones illegal? Usually. They're prohibited by FCC regulations, unless the call's from or on behalf of a non-profit or tax-exempt group (like, say, a political campaign). Those don't count as "solicitations." Larry, if you're gonna call me, at least tell me what you're wearing.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Chow / Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Today in Terribly Named, Entirely Unnecessary Products
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Wed, Aug 12, 2009 at 9:49 AM
Ladies and gentlemen, the Wine Diaper.
Imagine this scenario: you travel somewhere with a bottle of wine which, for any reason, brakes [sic] causing an enormous mess of your luggage, clothes and electronics... The Wine Diaper prevents this event from happening:
- It has a padded inside that absorbs shocks and can prevent rapid changes in temperature
- In case of accidental rupture, the padding itself, being made out of diaper material, absorbs 100% of the liquid spill
Now enjoy this surreal video in which a bottle of Relax Riesling is sealed within a Wine Diaper in an eerily tranquil kitchen, then is smashed with a scary metal hammer wielded by an unseen hand with the methodical sangfroid of a serial killer.
As the video itself demonstrates, "Breaking a bottle is not that easy." Also, there is preexisting padding inside your luggage with which to wrap a bottle of wine called your clothes.
Most Commented on Slog
-
Life and Death in a Recliner in South Carolina by Dan Savage
-
Health at Every Size by Dan Savage
-
"Let his days be few... Let his children be fatherless and his wife a widow." by Dan Savage
-
$2,600,000,000 by Dan Savage
-
All The Best Men Are Taken by Dan Savage
-
I Hate You, Garrison Keillor by Jen Graves
-
SL Letter of the Day: Hot & Drunk by Dan Savage
-
Becoming a Man by Dan Savage
-
Pit Bulls! by Dan Savage
-
Unreal Americans by Dan Savage
RSS
Facebook
Twitter