
Python hunt! To help thin the population of escaped-and-released pythons that, apparently, threaten to take over the Everglades. (Pets-gone-awry must be the most destructive category of animals on the planet—after people, of course.) It's worth clicking through for the photo alone.
"If you're in there hunting, and you see a python, you can kill it,"' Hardin said.Hunters have used nets and snares and guns to subdue the reptiles, but all legal hunting methods are allowed, including bang sticks, harpoons and spear guns.
Bang sticks?
Wikipedia sez: aka "powerheads" (this whole story's one long double entendre) bang sticks are guns designed for firing underwater, when in direct contact with the target.
Although most commercial powerheads use standard handgun ammunition, such as .357 Magnum or .44 Magnum, the bullet has little or no effect on the killing power of the bang stick. The muzzle blast does the damage, as much high-pressure gas is forced into the flesh of the target. Blank cartridges can produce fatal wounds when fired in or near contact, and they work well in powerheads
And, for a little Thursday morning etymology:
python
1590, the fabled serpent, slain by Apollo, near Delphi, from L. Python, from Gk. Python, probably related to Pytho, the old name of Delphi, perhaps itself related to pythein "to rot." Zoological application to large non-venomous snakes of the tropics is from 1836, originally in Fr.pythoness
late 14c., "woman with the power of soothsaying," from O.Fr. phitonise (13c.), from L.L. pythonissa, used in Vulgate of the Witch of Endor (I Sam. xxviii. 7), and often treated as her proper name, lit. fem. of pytho "familiar spirit;" which ultimately is connected with the title of the prophetess of the Delphic Oracle, Gk. pythia hiereia, from Pythios, an epithet of Apollo, from Pytho, older name of the region of Delphi (see python).
Spin you a golden textile. (If they don't eat each other first.)
According to Florida Today, Satellite Beach's Arianne Prevost killed the shit out of a 450 lb., 11 foot alligator while on a gator hunt.
It was a total archery kill," guide Peter Deeks said, adding Prevost shot the gator several times with a crossbow and finished it with a broadhead. Prevost is having the meat harvested and the gator half-mounted.
Now, I'm sorry, but this is just WRONG. There is no indication that this alligator was doing anything other than living out a long peaceful life, and for this admittedly gorgeous woman to come along and repeatedly pump multiple arrows into this thrashing humongous beast is just… just…
GodDAMMIT, erection! STAY DOWN!!

Arrow tips to Buzzfeed.

Captive octopuses can spray jets of water out of their tanks, hitting people and sometimes ruining lab electronics.
Earlier this year, a little one-pound octopus at the Santa Monica Aquarium spent a night spraying so much water dismantling its water valve and flooded several rooms:
The Aquarium learned the hard way that eco-friendly cork is not the ideal flooring for a saltwater aquarium housing a strong and curious little two spotted octopus. On February 26, 2009, the staff arrived and discovered a one pound two-spotted octopus in the Kid's Corner had flooded the visitor gallery and staff offices with at least 200 gallons of saltwater.
More about octopuses—including why they're not "octopi"—here.
And your daily dose of NSFW octopus porn is below the jump.
UPDATE
Because my reading-comprehension is poor, I misunderstood exactly how the octopus flooded the aquarium. It didn't squirt water, it tore up its water-recycling system (another popular octopus hobby). I hang my head in shame.
Japanese doctors named a heart condition after the octopus: Tako-tsubo cardiomyopathy or "broken-heart syndrome."
The condition, in which a part of the heart suddenly enlarges, is often caused by emotional stress like the sudden death or disappearance someone you love. According to a study by the Mayo Clinic, Tako-tsubo cardiomyopathy is fatal in 3.6 percent of the cases.
It got its name from either the clay jars used by Japanese fishermen to catch octopus (which resembles the shape of the heart enlargement) or after a story about a Japanese fisherman who fell in love with an octopus who didn't care for her captor.
In any case, it is medically possible to die of a broken heart.
(An octopus, by the way, has three hearts. Also, some people make tako-tsubo speakers.)
The winner!

In a very, very close race, Christopher's beard was voted the best beard by Slog readers. He won with 47% of the votes.
"I don't typically like guys with beards, but Frizzelle, call me sometime," said commenter Lacking Creativity.
Grant came in second with a respectable 46%.
We need your help solving an inter-office battle. Three behind-the-curve staffers finally have beards (now that they're uncool again).
As always, these polls are legally binding.
This image was taken on August 30 by the "backward (northward)-viewing camera of the Multi-angle Imaging SpectroRadiometer (MISR) instrument on NASA's Terra satellite." That's a big fire.
h/t: the Register
A report from KENS 5, a TV station in San Antonio:
The contents of a mysterious container found Monday night in Atascosa County have been determined.Authorities in Atascosa County said the container appeared to contain hair and bones. They were concerned that the materials might be human in nature.
The container's contents were suspicious enough that authorities took the materials to the Bexar County Medical Examiner's Office for testing.
Early Tuesday afternoon, officials said they believe the matter inside the container came from an octopus or squid.
Atascosa officials said somebody had found the large container at about 7 p.m. Monday near Hickory Road and Old Pleasanton Road.
Here's the thing: Octopuses and squids don't have hair. Or bones.
The mystery remains.


The quagga was a subspecies of the zebra. It went extinct 126 years ago today, when the last one died at a zoo in Amsterdam. This lovely lady quagga, at the London Zoo in 1870, was the only one ever photographed alive. Wikipedia says:
There are 23 known stuffed and mounted quagga throughout the world. A twenty-fourth specimen was destroyed in Königsberg, Germany (now Kaliningrad), during World War II.
This liquorice is not only a delicious treat, it is also a learning tool:

When one Australian Kookaburra bird starts its boisterous laugh like call, suddenly the bush is alive with contagious laughter! Some say it's to mark their territory, but we know better. They're laughing because the 'Best Liquorice in the World' bears their name!
Okay. A few things here. Is it a "laugh like call" or is it "laughing"? PICK ONE. And why are the kookaburras laughing? First, liquorice package tells us, it's because their laugh is some sort of "contagious" disease. Sure! I'll buy that. Bird disease. But then, wait, "some" (i.e. KOOKABURRA SCIENTISTS) say that the kookaburras laugh to mark their kookaterritory. I was down with the contagious laughing disease, but this sounds even more plausible. I'm glad we had this little talk about animal facts, liquori—NOPE! Then liquorice says that it knows BETTER than the two perfectly good explanations it's already given us. Now the kookaburras are laughing because they found out (who told?) that someone named a liquorice company after them (I'LL TOTALLY TRY THAT ONE AT OPEN MIC!!!), and that is the funniest fucking thing a kookaburra has ever heard. So what you're saying is that kookaburra has the shittiest sense of humor in all of biological class aves (even worse than a stupid fat robin), and for that reason we should eat your liquorice? Because that's what I'm hearing. Explain yourself, Kookaburra Liquorice. Ha ha ha. Kookaha ha.
In his review of The Cove (which made me laugh more than anything else this week, and that INCLUDES kitten mittens!), Charles Mudede apologizes for a long-ago slight against the (non-human) animal kingdom:
Because of this documentary, I have come to regret this line from the review I wrote for March of the Penguins: "The only animal worth making a documentary about is the human." That is the fourth most stupidest thing I have ever written. Sorry, penguins. Sorry, dolphins. Sorry to all other forms of life that happen to not be as smart and as deadly as humans
Read the whole wonderful thing HERE.



Tons of photos after the jump...
The texts keep coming.
did i tell you the hot new show in town is "noah—the musical"?
sign on church here says "those who row the boat rarely rock it." not sure which is meant to be optimum: rowers? rockers?
they have picked a sixty or seventy something woman—cathy rigby—to play boy who never grew up in peter pan here. may have been good call ages ago on bway but
theme of resort where we are staying is light houses and cape cod. climbed 60 feet just now to top of faux light house to be rewarded with 1000 degree heat at top; panic attack on way down.
bugs here are nuts. found creepy beetle stuck on its back; felt sorry for it so grabbed leaf to turn it over—but LEAF WAS A BUG TOO!
The photos are of the Precious Moments museum lighted fountain, and of Yakov Smirnov, a resident Branson performer. And if you haven't looked at the Branson family vacation site paulus posted yesterday, you must.
Do you know about this place? The text messages I am getting from her are off the charts.
I am holding a brochure for "a ministry of art"—"sculpture" garden by Precious Moments figurine co. Wish u were here!
Now we are on Bob Hope Memorial Drive and just passed a theater that only does Red Skelton tributes.
Did you know Andy Williams is still alive?!
Apparently I can buy a bikini made out of a confederate flag here.
Seems wrong that the Titanic museum here—boasting 400 items that belonged to dead passengers—is billed as "fun for whole family." Still, I think we're going.
We just passed a motel advertising "musical ducks." It's closed so apparently not a hit. Tomorrow we go see show of dancing cats. For real.
I will keep them coming if you like.
For the jocks:
wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.
For the nerds (I'm looking at you, Mudede):
(There's a bigger version—including an interview with the artist—here.)
For some reason, when I type the word "dumb" into Microsoft Word's thesaurus, this is what appears:
dumb cane n
a poisonous tropical American plant that if chewed can lead to loss of speech in adults or death in children and small animals. Latin name: Dieffenbachia seguine
This is a plant that makes you go dumb! And that looks like a cross between bamboo, hosta, and basil!
You have been warned, people who like to talk.

I've been thinking about octopuses these days—not octopi, for reasons explained here—and found this disconcerting bit of information on Wikipedia:
Some cephalopods are able to fly distances up to 50 m. While the organisms are not particularly aerodynamic, they achieve these rather impressive ranges by use of jet-propulsion; water continues to be expelled from the funnel while the organism is in flight.
The reference for this troubling "fact"—a fucking octopus can fucking fly? and wrap its wicked suckers around your fucking face? and chew off your fucking nose?—is the academic abstract to a journal article that I, a mere dumb-ass, an-academic, am not allowed to read without paying for the privilege.
Can anybody out there in Slogland get me a copy of this article? Or any other scientific evidence—or even pseudo-scientific evidence—that this crab be your nose?
Would you like to be the 3,905,327th person to watch this Bolivian caterpillar motate across a patio? Yes—yes, you would.
Thanks to Ben.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHASGASJDFL;JSDHFLKSADJF!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAHHH!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know this bug?
This bug that's, like, half-caterpillar half-spider? It's all squirmy and ribbed-for-bug-pleasure with some stupid orange spots on its back? Here, perhaps this close-up will help you understand which bug I mean. ——————>
Seeeeee? That bug. I knew you'd understand.
Anyway, THIS BUG IS PERVERTED. This bug just crawled out of my shirt (the front part!!). Keep this bug away from your children, unless you want your children to get crawled on by TINY SEX OFFENDERS. Ew, bug. Ew.
Apparently that bear is still at large in Seattle. From the Seattle Times:
If a bear walks toward you, identify yourself as a human by standing up, waving your hands above your head, and talking to the bear in a low voice.
The sidebar has more advice, including that when speaking to a bear, you should not use the word "bear," because idiots who feed bears will often call to them using that word, and then the bear will think you've got lunch. But what do you say to a bear?
Photo by mraaronmorris from The Stranger's flickr pool.
Public fruit!
Fallen Fruit is an artist collective whose projects are very community-based, and also based on the simple principle that the branches of fruit trees that hang over public rights-of-way bear public fruit.
Their latest project is a Seattle project: a "jam session" that took place last night at Lawrimore Project as part of this show. They mailed the jam up in jars in a box—made of oranges, plums, grapes, rosemary, and basil, among other publicly harvested crops—with instructions for three people in Seattle to apply the jam in whatever way they saw fit to a large canvas on the wall.
This "jam session" would then be the basis for other musicians to respond to—in fact, that's the basis of the entire group show, called Scores and curated by Robert Crouch and Ed Patuto (going under the name Volume), including the artists Nayland Blake, Simon Leung, Steve Roden, Steven Hull, Laetitia Sonami, Monique Jenkinson, Tomo Isoyama, Lucky Dragons, Keep Adding, and more. Each work in the gallery is its own work as well as the basis for a future interpretation by a musician or sound artist. The opening is tonight, but performances are to come.