Slog

News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

??!!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Honoring Hutch: A Stroll Down Memory Lane

Posted by David Schmader on Thu, Nov 19, 2009 at 2:14 PM

In honor of Rev. Ken Hutcherson's speech at this morning's Microsoft stockholders meeting, here's a column The Stranger published on the occasion of Hutch's previous Microsoft speechifying.

grabbaggy-replace-500.jpg

(Bigger print version here.)

"Rita has made a decision that she wants to explore her own relationship with epilepsy."

Posted by Brendan Kiley on Thu, Nov 19, 2009 at 1:58 PM

So Rita (Marcalo, a British modern dancer) is going to stop taking her meds and try to have a seizure onstage.

The project is called "Involuntary Dances" and some British epilepsy-advocacy groups are pissed, saying the stunt/dance/whatever trivializes the condition.

I'm only surprised choreographers haven't stepped up to argue that dubbing a seizure "dance" trivializes the art form.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

re: Renton Man Allegedly Tried to Have Business Partner Murdered

Posted by Brendan Kiley on Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 4:27 PM

Hey Garrett. Beat you.

Killebrew told Channel 2 Action News reporter Tom Jones that she was shocked when her 16-year-old son told her his substitute math teacher at Mundy’s Mill High School was trying to hire a hit man to kill him.

“I was extremely upset. I called the school at that moment,” said Killebrew.

Killebrew’s attorney said the incident began when Forde called the student out of the classroom one day.

“(Forde) asked him if he was gay,” said attorney Terrance Madden.

Madden said the student became angry at the suggestion and the next day the two had a verbal altercation.

Weeks later, police said, Forde got a Mundy’s Mill student off a school bus and told him he had a hit on someone and needed him to take care of it. Officers said the student asked who it was and Forde said he would let him know.

Not even the kid's regular teacher—his substitute teacher.

Which dredges up some questions. What was so horrible/memorable about the kid that the teacher couldn't forget about him as soon as his substitute gig was done? Was the teacher hitting on the kid? (So to speak.) Or was he trying to pick on him? Was he afraid the kid would bring a sexual harassment suit? Or a discrimination suit?

And how could either of those options possibly be worse than criminal charges for hiring a high-school hit man kid?

And what's a "Mundy's Mill"? Its high-school mission statement:

Mundy's Mill High School is challenging minds, changing lives, and achieving success in a tradition and spirit of excellence.

Two out of three ain't bad.

Isabella Rossellini in Green Porno

Posted by Jen Graves on Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 10:53 AM

"If I lived in the depths of de abyss, it would be dark..."

She is dressed up as a squid having sex.

This is why she is coming to Seattle tomorrow to speak.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Carrie Prejean Found Dead in New Jersey Motel Room!

Posted by David Schmader on Thu, Nov 12, 2009 at 12:56 PM

Just kidding about that headline, but holy crap is Carrie Prejean's ongoing downward spiral a wonder to behold.

Hot on the heels of her View grilling and idiotically aborted appearance on Larry King Live, Prejean has abruptly pulled out of a splashy speaking gig. From TMZ:

TMZ has learned Carrie Prejean just pulled out of a talk she was supposed to give this afternoon at the Capitol Hill Club in Washington D.C.—an exclusive club for Republicans only.

An insider at the Capitol Hill Club tells TMZ Carrie canceled five minutes before she was supposed to speak because her camp wanted to avoid a repeat of last night's "Larry King Live" fiasco — when she almost walked off the set.

Carrie faced a fresh wave of criticism this morning after her former hookup told us she wanted him to lie about her sex tape and tell people she was underage when she filmed it ... when she was really 20-years-old.

Also on TMZ, some damning anti-Prejean testimony from Miss California USA president Keith Lewis:

"The public is finally getting a glimpse of the real Carrie Prejean who lives in her own delusional world. The childish behavior, her negative attitude, the sarcasm and condescending tone, the disrespect and continual lying she is demonstrating now is only a fraction of what we endured during her reign and after. Anyone who buys her book is supporting a woman who is actually the opposite of everything she claims to be. I sincerely hope she is able to get the psychological help I believe she has shown to clearly need."

Don't forget, Prejean's whole horrible week was originally supposed to function as publicity for her new book, the full title of which is Still Standing: The Untold Story of My Fight Against Gossip, Hate, and Political Attacks, which currently ranks #701 on Amazon's Bestsellers List—a gratifyingly ridiculous position for a book whose "author" has been on a headline-making weeklong press blitz. From the book's inside flap:

Carrie Prejean endured the hellish nightmare that the liberal media can inflict on anyone who disagrees with their agenda, but her faith, courage, and conviction have made her a role model for how we can stare down the bullies of political correctness and reclaim our God-given rights to freedom of speech, thought, and conscience.

And that was written before the events of this week. What a wonderful world we live in. Now please enjoy what for me is the ultimate image of the whole Carrie Prejean saga—a photo taken by the boyfriend for whom Prejean diddled herself on camera, which accomplishes the amazing task of making a thin, pretty, ostentatiously "Christian" woman look like a fat slut.

Picture_3.png

Carrie Prejean, you are a national treasure.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Bald! Bears! Bad Times!

Posted by Lindy West on Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 4:00 PM

Spectacled bear, normal-style.
  • Spectacled bear, normal-style.
As you probably know (PAY ATTENTION), I care very deeply about bear issues.

Today in the Daily Mail: Leipzig's bespectacled lady-bears are going bald! AND NOT EVEN SCIENCE KNOWS WHY.

The sudden hair loss has affected all female bears at the zoo.

Some experts believe it could be due to a genetic defect though the animals do not seem to be suffering from any other affliction.

A picture of Dolores, one of the afflicted, is after the jump. JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE IT, MAN!!!

Continue reading »

I Seem to be Sensing a Theme Here...

Posted by Adrian Ryan on Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 10:40 AM

I didn't want to say anything earlier...but, um...

posters.jpg

I'm not sure WHAT I'm just saying, but I'm just saying.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Has Walmart Gained Nuclear Capability?

Posted by Paul Constant on Tue, Nov 3, 2009 at 2:34 PM

Holy shit. Daily Finance brings disturbing news to us:

9781579128142.jpg
On Oct. 28, the Nuclear Regulatory Commission cited Walmart (WMT) for improperly disposing of nuclear material. The items in question were exit signs that contained tritium, a hydrogen isotope, and Walmart had apparently been lax in its removal of 2,979 of them. The massive retailer also neglected to hire someone to keep track of its radioactive signage, in direct contravention of the NRC's requirements.

The NRC could, if it wished, levy a $369,300 fine on Walmart; however, it chose to waive the fee because the chain quickly responded to the citation. Walmart tallied the tritium-based signs at its stores, cleaned up radioactive spills created by its broken signs, and eventually decided to switch from tritium-based signs to more conventional — and nonradioactive — signs.

I know (thanks to this delightful, informative photo book that I have been dipping into for the last week and a half) that radioactive material is a lot more common than you might think. But still: The idea of Walmart being responsible for cleaning up nuclear spills is sphincter-tighteningly worrisome.

Apparently, "Club Z" Means Different Things on Different Sides of Lake Washington

Posted by David Schmader on Tue, Nov 3, 2009 at 11:57 AM

scaled.Picture_5.png
scaled.Picture_3.png


The fact in the subject line was brought to my attention by Slog tipper Jake, who found a Craigslist call for Club Z! Teachers/Tutors Needed $16-$20/hr.

Here's the Eastside's Club Z. And here's Seattle's Club Z. (And here's Christopher Frizzelle's feature about Seattle's Club Z.)

I do not believe Seattle's Club Z offers tutor services, but I could be wrong.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Speaking of Crazy Conspiracies

Posted by Paul Constant on Fri, Oct 30, 2009 at 2:35 PM

Anti-Obama Birther site The Betrayal says:

The recent declaration of a NATIONAL EMERGENCY by Barack hussein Obama opens the door for the executive orders clamping down on travel and a host of other freedoms americans have taken for granted for so long. A major scare is about to be unleashed on the public! Get ready everyone!

They are basing their facts on this video, by a woman who will, with Jesus's help, overcome her awful case of Shingles:

She also can't pronounce the word "acquiescence," instead reading it as "ac...ackyo...I can't read this word...acyou...accu-science?" I especially like this comment on The Betrayal's post:

Maybe this is what it will take for most people to wake-up! I can’t load the video, but it is going to take real nazification of our Country to get off their asses!

Be on your toes! "Because time is imminent!" President Obama might enslave us all for our mighty brain power!

Chapel: The Haunting

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Fri, Oct 30, 2009 at 2:05 PM

For your H'ween consideration: Did you know that Chapel on Capitol Hill is HAUNTED?

The Drinkening! SCREAM!
  • www.chapelseattle.com
  • The Drinkening! SCREAM!

Also: more H'ween parties and events than you can shake a (scary) stick at may be found over here.

Silent Truth

Posted by Paul Constant on Fri, Oct 30, 2009 at 1:25 PM

truthonwheels.png
This morning in the Morning News, Lindy linked to a New York Times story about how some Pakistani soldiers found documents linking the Taliban to an Al Qaeda group that planned 9/11.

In a small village in the dun-colored hills of South Waziristan, soldiers found a German passport belonging to Said Bahaji, a German citizen and associate of Mohammed Atta, the leader of the 9/11 hijackers.

The passport was issued in Hamburg in August 2, 2001 and was accompanied by a Pakistani visa dated August 3, 2001. The documents indicated that Mr. Bahaji landed in Karachi from Istanbul on Sept. 4, 2001.

The apparent presence of Mr. Bahaji in the tribal areas of Pakistan is a clear indication that members of the Qaeda network — including participants in the 9/11 plot — have taken refuge here, as American officials, like Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton on Thursday, have charged.

"Well, shit," I thought. "This is going to punch a hole in a bunch of 9/11 Truther theories. I wonder how they're going to respond." After all, Truthers are big on disseminating information, right? So I went to a bunch of Truther sites to see what they had to say about this New York Times story.

Hmmm. We Are Change Seattle doesn't have anything at all about it. 911 Blogger is weirdly silent, too. Come on, guys! Isn't somebody going to float a theory that the Pakistani Army is covering for George W. Bush by faking information? Nothing at 911 Truthaction except for that stunning silver fox of a Wheelie-Truther there to the left. Almost all of these sites to make scary references to Glenn Beck. And it looks like 911Truth.org doesn't have anything about it either...wait a minute! I see the words "New York Times" further down on the page. Maybe they have something to say about the Pakistani evidence:

HerebeTruth_.png

Sigh. Never mind.

Randy & Evi Quaid: In the Flesh!

Posted by David Schmader on Fri, Oct 30, 2009 at 9:51 AM

Before they were wanted in California for skipping out on a $10,000 hotel bill and three (!) court appearances related to the crime, Randy and Evi Quaid spent a string of weeks in Seattle, where Randy was starring in a would-be Broadway musical at the 5th Avenue and Evi was doing her patented loony-chick schtick.

During the Quaids' stay in Seattle, Stranger theater editor Brendan Kiley received a number of emails from Evi Quaid, who was looking to drum up publicity for her husband's show. The photos were sent to Brendan by Evi with this email (sic):

"Here is my German stuff

What about these pictures will your editor guarantee there is a good story and tie to the play that’s really funny and about production"

Quaidwatch 2009 continues...

UPDATE: We're working out some rights issues and we'll have the photos back up for you the minute we are able.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Miming for Jesus

Posted by Anthony Hecht on Thu, Oct 29, 2009 at 5:17 PM

Slog tipper John D would like everyone to share in the glory that is K & K Mime Ministries.

Okay, yeah, yeah, miming preachers. Weird.

But check out their website.

Best. Flash. Intro. Ever. Voiceover by God himself!

I Don't Know What Mattel Is Thinking

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Oct 29, 2009 at 4:27 PM

palm-beach-ken.jpg
Daily Stab has just introduced me to the newest Ken (of "Barbie and..." fame) doll. On the left, you'll see a photo of Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken.

Sporting a dashing jacquard-patterned jacket with a light pink polo shirt and crisp white pants, Ken doll is ready for Palm Beach social season, sunning by the pool and a stroll with his little companion....Includes Ken doll, jacket, pink polo shirt, white shoes, dog with leash, swim trunks and accessories, doll stand and certificate of authenticity.

Douchebag Ken costs $82, but you can buy him for $70 over here.

New Column!

Posted by David Schmader on Thu, Oct 29, 2009 at 9:00 AM

grabbag-slog-500.jpg

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Really Big Shark Bitten in Half By Even Bigger Really Big Shark

Posted by Lindy West on Tue, Oct 27, 2009 at 10:33 AM

sharkbite.jpg
Let me get this straight, Australia. You're a huge barren desert, you're crawling with baby-eating mega-spiders and snakes that can turn a man to stone with one venomous glance and saltwater crocodiles so fast they can travel back in time and eat you twice, and your beautiful, tantalizing coastlines are packed with invisible death jellies and ravenous twenty-foot sharks? Oh, but the surfing is really, really good. Okay.


Anyway:

Concerns were raised after a 3m great white shark was found dead with two huge bites taken out of its body. Experts believe the bites were made by an even larger predatory fish.

"Whatever attacked and took chunks out of this big shark must be massive," said Ashton Smith, 19. "I've heard about the big one that's lurking out there somewhere."

Australia is not so much a country as it is a snack delivery system for horrifying beasts.

Swimmers have been warned to stay out of the waters.

But that's exactly what the sabretooth kangaroos WANT!!! Don't play their game!

Mallahan Can!

Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Oct 27, 2009 at 9:50 AM

The Mallahan camp got the person or persons behind that "Joe Mallahan Can!" video to pull it down. It's back.

Christ...

Trick-or-Treat FAIL

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Tue, Oct 27, 2009 at 9:40 AM

2218351961_e3d06fe880.jpg
  • rochelle, et. al. / flickr

It's "Reverse Trick-or-Treat": In which lucky, lucky kids get to "turn the usual Halloween tradition of receiving candy on its head when they distribute Fair Trade-certified chocolate to adults. Attached to the chocolate will be a card explaining the labor and environmental problems in the cocoa industry globally and how Fair Trade provides a solution."

In Tacoma, fair-trade store Global Creations is hosting “'store-to-store' instead of 'door-to-door' reverse trick-or-treating on October 31st"—meaning not only are you going to stores instead of houses, YOU'RE giving THEM candy.

So you're all "Trick or treat—wait, no, dear store proprietor! I jest! Here is some Fair Trade chocolate that I am giving to YOU so we can save the planet and end child labor TOGETHER!" And maybe you're dressed as an ANGEL!

But instead of the card explaining the labor and environmental etc., you give them a card that says, "I AM THE UNWILLING CAPTIVE OF POLITICALLY CORRECT MONSTERS! CHILD LABOR: YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT! HELP ME!"

Monday, October 26, 2009

"Hay-Seuss? What Kinda Name Is That?"

Posted by Paul Constant on Mon, Oct 26, 2009 at 11:05 AM

Larry Whitten took over a hotel in New Mexico and he insisted on some changes in his staff:

The tough-talking former Marine immediately laid down some new rules. Among them, he forbade the Hispanic workers at the run-down, Southwestern adobe-style hotel from speaking Spanish in his presence (he thought they'd be talking about him), and ordered some to Anglicize their names.

No more Martin (Mahr-TEEN). It was plain-old Martin. No more Marcos. Now it would be Mark.

Whitten's hotel has been picketed by groups calling him a racist ever since.

"It has nothing to do with racism. I'm not doing it for any reason other than for the satisfaction of my guests, because people calling from all over America don't know the Spanish accents or the Spanish culture or Spanish anything," Whitten says.

Here is my question: Has this already been an episode of South Park, or is this going to be an episode of South Park next week?

Friday, October 23, 2009

Flying Anvils Are Incredibly Satisfying

Posted by Paul Constant on Fri, Oct 23, 2009 at 2:30 PM

Here, via Super Punch, we have someone who enjoys launching anvils some 200 feet into the air:

On Bears: Stupid Russian Ideas Edition

Posted by Lindy West on Fri, Oct 23, 2009 at 11:11 AM

cuttingedgebear.jpg
In response to my column this week, Slog tipper Tom alerted me to this story:

MOSCOW, Russia (CNN) — A bear on ice skates attacked two people during rehearsals at a circus in Bishkek, the capital of Kyrgyzstan, killing one of them, Kyrgyz officials said Friday.

In the incident, which happened Thursday, the 5-year-old animal killed the circus administrator, Dmitry Potapov, and mauled an animal trainer, who was attempting to rescue him.

"The incident occurred during a rehearsal by the Russian state circus company troupe which was performing in Bishkek with the program, Bears on Ice," Ministry of Culture and Information director Kurmangazy Isanayev told reporters.

After the incident, the circus was cordoned off by police and emergency service workers. Experts have been brought in to examine the bear, which was shot and died at the scene.

Russia has a long-standing tradition of training bears to perform tricks such as riding motorcycles, ice skating, and playing hockey. Fatal attacks are unusual.

I wonder what those "experts" will discover upon examining the bear. Hopefully something illuminating like, oh, SOMEONE STRAPPED BLADES TO THIS BEAR'S FEET AND WENT ICE SKATING WITH IT.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Indecent Exposure!

Posted by Paul Constant on Wed, Oct 21, 2009 at 12:58 PM

It's illegal to be naked in your own home in Virginia:

Springfield, Virginia resident Eric Williamson was arrested and charged with indecent exposure yesterday for failing to put on any clothes after getting up at 5:30 am to make some coffee. A woman and her 7-year-old daughter had cut across Williamson's front yard and saw him through his kitchen window.

I like how the original story makes a point to say that the naked coffee guy is from Hawaii. Well, that explains his shameless hedonism.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Just Making Sure You're Seeing This

Posted by Jen Graves on Thu, Oct 15, 2009 at 12:55 PM

The boy wasn't in the balloon when it came down.

There Is a Boy Floating in a Balloon Over Colorado

Posted by Jen Graves on Thu, Oct 15, 2009 at 12:04 PM

And nobody knows how to get him down.

UPDATE: Man, this looks scary. The thing has lost about a third of the helium inside it and is listing in the wind. Jets are being rerouted.

UPDATE AGAIN: The 6-year-old boy inside might be asphyxiated already from breathing in helium alone, unless there's some kind of way he's getting oxygen.

AGAIN: It's circling and descending. Cameras won't show the landing.

AGAIN: Actually, they did show it. Soft landing. Where's Falcon?

UPDATE: NOBODY IS IN THERE. So...where's Falcon?? 'There is no child in this balloon.'

UPDATE: Um, this family was on Wife Swap.

UPDATE: Did a part of the aircraft break off during flight? Is Falcon hiding in the backyard? I cannot stop watching this.

UPDATE: Search-and-rescue underway. They say he's not hiding in the vicinity of the house.

UPDATE: Is this a scam?

@SEAshows

The Stranger's Twitter Feed of Seattle Shows
  • Loading Tweets
    loading

Follow @SEAshows
 

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
1535 11th Ave (Third Floor), Seattle, WA 98122
Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use