How much does the Republican Party love guns? They love guns so much that they basically call President Obama a loser for consoling the mother of a Newtown shooting victim in a new RNC ad. That's how much the Republican Party loves guns.

The Huffington Post just put up the new Mountain Dew commercial featuring Odd Future, racial stereotypes, and violence against women—all in one!

Watch it on Line Out.

I'm not sure this video solves anything, but it sure is satisfying:

(Via Oliver Willis.)

Politico says that half of all Americans are easily placated:

Half of Americans approve of the state of the country for the first time since 2007, a new poll says.

According to a CNN/ORC poll released on Friday, 50 percent of Americans say “things are going well in the country” — but an equal percentage says the opposite.

At last! America has finally recaptured the boundless optimism of the second Bush term.

Bleeding Cool caught "real" life "superhero" Phoenix Jones's announcement that he's going international. And here it is, in Jones's typical ALL CAPS:

I WILL BE STARTING A UK DIVISION OF THE RCSM [Rain City Superhero Movement, Phoenix's little local fake superhero club] LEAD BY RED FALCON. HE IS A GOOD STRONG LEADER AND WILL REPRESENT THE TEAM WELL. I HAVE ALSO EQUIPPED HIM WITH THE LATEST LEGAL CRIME FIGHTING GEAR AS WELL AS BULLET AND STAB RESISTANT PLATING.

COUNT ZERO WILL BE HEADING UP MY ARIZONA DIVISION. MIDNIGHT JACK AND I PERSONALLY TRAINED HIM AND HE IS VERY TALENTED AND KNOWLEDGEABLE.

PUMA WILL BE HEADING UP MY DUBAI DIVISION. HIS ROLE AND PLANS MUST BE KEPT CLOSE TO THE VEST CONSIDERING THE LAWS IN DUBAI ARE VERY DIFFERENT.

I AM TRYING TO TALK HARBINGER INTO RUNNING MY CALIFORNIA DIVISION. WE HAVE TEAMS BEING SET UP IN SOUTH AFRICA, AUSTRALIA, AND NEW ZEALAND. I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED.

If you're reading Slog in a city that is not Seattle, you should be warned: Idiocy is on the march! And also: Please know that we are so, so sorry about this.

Public Policy Polling has released the results of their latest poll, in which they polled American voters on 20 conspiracy theories. The results are terrifying:

15% of voters say the governemnt or the media adds mind-controlling technology to TV broadcast signals

There's much more, including 9/11 Truth theories, contrails, lizard people, and Area 51. Go read the whole report.

CNN:

Young, Alaska's sole congressman... made the comment during a sit-down interview with Ketchikan Public Radio earlier this week. Talking about how technology is affecting the economy, he referenced an anecdote from his family's farm in California.

"My father had a ranch; we used to have 50-60 wetbacks to pick tomatoes," Young said. "It takes two people to pick the same tomatoes now. It's all done by machine."

The good congressman was kind enough to clarify matters:

"I used a term that was commonly used during my days growing up on a farm in Central California," the Republican congressman said in a statement issued to a local television station in Anchorage. "I know that this term is not used in the same way nowadays and I meant no disrespect."

Man with the best aim wins! And learns about prostate health while watching baseballs.

Also: IRONPIGS.

What is he thinking?

• Emily Nokes

An old woman is dying, and sitting next to her, taking care of her, is a young woman (in her late teens). Feeling the end is near, the old woman, who is in bed, asks the young woman to take her outside to see a cherry blossom tree. The young woman offers the support of her shoulders to the old woman, and the old woman stands, places her old hands on the young woman’s shoulders, and is led to the tree in the garden. Once under the tree, with its falling pink petals, the old woman’s hands suddenly let go of the young woman's shoulders, violently reaches over and grabs each of her breasts, squeezes them with the remaining energy in her long life, and dies, clinging to the breasts.

The young woman screams in horror.

Members of her family run outside, see what has happened, and attempt to remove the dead woman’s old hands from her breasts. But the fingers wont separate. The old woman’s flesh has somehow fused with the young woman’s flesh. When a finger is pulled from a breast, the fused flesh tears apart and begins bleeding. At the end of the day there is only one solution left: they cut the old woman’s wrists and hope the fixed hands eventually rot and drop off. But this never happens, and the young woman is forced to live with the old hands on her breasts.

Where were you on Friday when the internet hit Peak Internet? Sean O'Neal at the AV Club writes:

The Internet—the global system of interconnected networks that’s become an increasingly central means of commerce and communication capable of bringing far-flung civilizations together—reached its apex this week, after a man claiming to be the fiancé of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic character Twilight Sparkle contacted a user of online community DeviantArt to demand he stop drawing sexual pictures of his imaginary pony-bride. The request was made in a letter that was then published in full on the Internet, which no longer has any reason to exist, having achieved everything it has ever set out to do.

To me, the most interesting part of the letter is this paragraph:

• Click to enlarge.

The most head-smacking part of this whole exchange is the fact that the letter-writer had the realization that women are human beings with likes and dislikes, and that they are not disposable sex objects, but he had this realization about a fictional character. I guess it's better than nothing.