Congratulations to vooodooo84's Rightwing Feminists, the first ever All-Slog 2008 Fantasy Football Thunderdome League of Champions™, erm, champion.

The AS08FFTLoC turned out to be a bit of a disaster (see my regret here) but I learned a few things:

Yahoo's fantasy football site can eat a bag of dicks: It's terrible, ugly and doesn't give you live scoring updates unless you shell out $10. Feh.

Know your enemy: I never managed to set up an AS08FFTLoC meetup. I know, I'm an asshole. It probably would've been more fun know to who I was playing each week.

Auto drafting can also eat a bag of dicks: I never, ever, ever should've gone with an auto draft. It made everything unbalanced and allowed at least one team to have a ridiculously overloaded roster (it wasn't vooodooo's team). Also, I came in seventh, which is horseshit.

And finally,

Thou shalt not attempt to manage teams in three different leagues: It's maddening. Don't ever do this.

Perhaps I'll try again next year. Maybe I can get Dan involved since he's paying attention to the NFL now.

With Brad gone and only theater- and book-loving straight boys left on staff... I guess I'll have to post this:

The Detroit Lions own a distinction no team wants: worst in NFL history.

Facing one last chance to avoid their dubious destiny, the Lions lost Sunday's season finale to the Green Bay Packers 31-21 to complete the league's first 0-16 season. The 1976 expansion Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-14) were the last NFL team to complete a season without a victory.

Ouch.

New York Jets defensive end Shaun Ellis has received a $10,000 fine for lobbing a giant snowball at a Seahawks fan at this weekend's game.

Everyone knows Brittfarr is the only one allowed to throw snowballs!

No ice!

Eco Factor:
Skating rinks made from resin plastic says no to water and cooling systems.

Winter is the time all ice skating lovers keep on waiting for. The wait is over for some skaters in northern Japan who will be able to skate during any season of the year and that too without using electricity to freeze huge amounts of water. A 300-square meter skating rink has been developed in Toyama, Japan that has been made from 80 pieces of plastic glued together. The use of plastic saves water and also the electricity that would have been used to freeze water for skating.

The Dark Side:
The skating rink says no to water and cooling systems, but the plastic used in the rink would have been developed after releasing huge amounts of CO2 into the atmosphere. The rink could have been better if it used recycled plastic.

However, to skate on a substance that is not ice is not ice skating.

No one has ever confused Myron Rolle for an average college student. For one thing, the 6'2" safety at Florida State has NFL scouts drooling; for another, he's already earned his pre-med degree in two-and-a-half years. But his itinerary last weekend was particularly extraordinary. On Nov. 22, the Seminoles' safety jetted off to Birmingham, Ala., where he sat for a final interview for the Rhodes Scholarship, generally viewed as the country's most prestigious. After learning he was one of the 32 student-athletes in the country to earn the honor — and with it, two years of study at England's vaunted Oxford University — Rolle flew to College Park, Md., joined his teammates late in the second quarter and helped Florida State to a pivotal win over the Maryland. TIME caught up with Rolle to discuss his jam-packed schedule, his inspirations, and whether he'll opt for the NFL or Oxford.

While attending Oriel Boys School (Hindhead Avenue, Chisipite, Harare, Zimbabwe), the hero of the student body was a certain Tonderai Hondo. He was a hero because he dominated his class, which was at the top (A1) of his form (sixth), and he was the star of the rugby team. (Tonderai was also great at cricket, long jump, high jump, pole vaulting, and throwing a javelin.) We worshiped Tonderai like there was no tomorrow. When you saw him bolting with a ball or decimating an opponent during a debate, you knew that he was who you wanted to be. To be you, even if you were in A1 or A2 of your form, was nothing because you were not exactly the same as Tonderai—the absolute student with a place waiting for him at Cambridge. I even recall he was good a basketball, and he could recite whole passages from Jane Austen's novels. Those who are half-man/half-amazing are the rarest sorts, the flowers of any society, the ideal subjects of the state.

I understand from the straight guys at my gym that 1. Seattle has a professional football team 2. they engaged in a competition yesterday and 3. they did not acquit themselves like champions.

The Washington Redskins have become the latest NFL team to send 2005 MVP running back Shaun Alexander to a farm upstate.

According to Profootballtalk.com, Alexander was cut following Sunday's game against his former team, the Seahawks, who also cut Alexander from their roster this summer.

After failing to win a job with the Detroit Lions and Cincinnati Bengals earlier this season, it seemed Alexander was destined for retirement. However, former Seahawks QB and coach Jim Zorn apparently took pity and brought Alexander on as a third-string running back for the Redskins. This season, Alexander had 11 carries for just 24 yards.

In the final moments of the broadcast of Sunday's game, after the 'Skins narrowly defeated the Hawks, the camera cut to a shot of a smug Alexander, crossing Qwest Field with Zorn. It was also probably one of the last times we'll ever see Alexander on a football field.

From those limeys at the Telegraph:

Jane Austen wrote about baseball 40 years before its official invention, according to a new book. But evidence of the game's British origins was erased from history by the American sports magnate Albert Spalding, according to the book's author Julian Norridge.


Austen mentioned baseball in the opening pages of Northanger Abbey, which she wrote in 1797-8. Introducing her tom-boy heroine Catherine Morland, Austen wrote:


"It was not very wonderful that Catherine, who had nothing heroic about her, should prefer cricket, base-ball, riding on horseback, and running about the country at the age of fourteen, to books."

Just because Obama has become a global president doesn't mean we have to give up our national pride.

This will not stand!

But wait...

In autumn 2010, the Walt Disney corporation opens The Jane Austen Experience on a 50-acre site on the outskirts of Bath. Visitors are greeted by a 12ft high Jane Austen, dressed in period costume. Jane leads them into The Ballroom, where they can watch Jane dancing to a traditional Regency rhythm with a 15ft high Mr Darcy.

Revenge! America's all up in your Bath, England. In your face!

USA! USA!

Nancy Chang, director of Skate Like a Girl—a local group encouraging young women to participate in a male-dominated sport, build leadership skills, etc.—has been named a L'Oréal 2008 Woman of Worth.

Chang is one of 10 women receiving the award from cosmetic giant but only one of them will walk away with a big sack of cash ($25,000!) to donate to their charity of choice.

You can help put $25,000 in Skate Like a Girl's coffers by going here and voting for Chang.

Sure, you could vote for some lady who passes out shoes to poor kids on Navajo reservations, but will that woman teach those kids how to ollie? Nope.

Voting starts today and runs through November 24.

The World Series is over. The goddamn Phillies beat the Rays.

There is one bright spot: 93-year-old Jamie Moyer—a former Mariner and auto glass magnate—started his first World Series game and cried on the field when the Phillies clinched their 4-3 win over the Rays.

Awww.

So says Perez Hilton.

The newest Major League Soccer team, the Seattle Sounders, is expected to announce on Tuesday that Swedish soccer sensation, homolicious Freddy Ljungberg will be part of their team...

Delish!

First, the bad news:

Quarterback Matt Hasselbeck will miss his third consecutive game, coach Mike Holmgren said on his radio show this morning on 710 AM (KIRO).

That means Seneca Wallace will start his second straight game, in San Francisco on Sunday. If Seattle loses, it will be 1-6 for the first time since 1992, a year the Seahawks finished 2-14.

I think I've figured out why the Hawks' season is as fucked up as Willis McGahee's eye:

God's wrath.

Mack Strong already got his ass smote last season. I guess it was Hass's (and everyone else's) turn. This is also why Leonard Weaver never gets the damn ball.

See also: Peyton Manning.

Brady Quinn, you're next.

God is a democrat. Fact.

Since the 49ers fired head coach Mike Nolan earlier this week, there's been a shit-ton of speculation that, outgoing Seahawks coach Mike "The Walrus" Holmgren (pictured below) might jump ship to the 49ers next season.

Well, according to NFL Network blogger Adam Schefter, Holmgren—for better or worse—won't be setting up shop in Candlestick Park anytime soon.

Even before the 49ers dismissed head coach Mike Nolan this week, speculation had run rampant that Seattle head coach Mike Holmgren could surface in a Bill Parcells-executive-type role in San Francisco next season.

And it might happen one day.

But one day certainly does not sound like next season.

One source close to the Seahawks said Wednesday that, short of the 49ers offering Holmgren a stake of ownership in the team — and even that might not change the circumstances — Seattle’s head coach will not be working for San Francisco next season.

“Under no circumstance could I see him doing that — zero, none,” the source said. “It would be absolutely shocking to me. It would be extraordinarily difficult for (Holmgren) to ever entertain that idea.”

Holmgren has worked for the 49ers, watched how they have operated, and is well familiar with the York family that owns the team. Right now, according to those that know him, Holmgren has little desire to work there again.

Holmgren even has vowed to his family that, after this season, his last with the Seahawks, he will spend 2009 out of football. What happens for the 2010 season is a different story and issue. But who can say what one man will be thinking two seasons from now when it is difficult enough to get through this season?

The only thing certain about Holmgren’s thinking is that he will not wind up with the 49ers in 2009, despite the rampant speculation to the contrary.

Who knows how good Schefter's source is, so take what you will from that what you will, but the Hawks definitely need to make some changes soon, lest this season get any more embarrassing.

Owen Schmitt for quarterback!

PS-The Mariners hired Jack Zduriencik as their new GM. Baseball is still boring.

Author Dave Zirin, being interviewed on KUOW right now, just pointed out that the owners of professional sports teams have given six times as much money to McCain than they have to Obama. Wonder what the breakdown looks like for the owners of the Ms?