Slog Commenter and all-around great guy NaFun Twittered this blog yesterday, but I think today's a great day to explore it a little further: Not Always Right is a blog collecting particularly hellish interactions with customers.

I'm sure that some of you commenters (probably the ones who never worked retail before) are already getting huffy and pre-imagining your comments: "Why don't they get a better job instead of working retail like a punk?" I can hear you huff, before you huffily add, "People who work in retail deserve what they get and need to stop whining!"

To which I say: Calm down, Huffy. It's not a particularly whiny blog. I especially like this post:

Always Right, Even When Shooting Down A Helicopter
Golf Course | Finland

(At the golf course where I work, it’s been a very a hot day and an older man unfortunately has a stroke/heart attack in the middle of the range. The course is at a remote location, so a medical helicopter is called in and lands in the middle of the range. Another golfer comes over, obviously upset.)

Golfer: “It’s my tee! I want to take my shot but the helicopter is blocking it.”

Me: “Sir, there’s a medical emergency on the range so you’ll have to wait for a little while.”

Golfer: “But it’s my shot! I pay good money to play here and it’s my shot!”

Me: “Sir, someone may be dying over there. Please have some patience. It shouldn’t take long until they lift off.”

Golfer: “If they get hit, it’s their own fault.”

(The man then pulls a club out and before I can stop him, he swings and hits the helicopter.)

Me: “Sir! For God’s sake, stop!”

Golfer: “It’s my tee! They can just blame themselves for being in the way. I don’t have time for this!”

(I ended up reporting him to the caddie master and range supervisors. His license was revoked and was banned from playing there ever again. Thankfully, the helicopter was not damaged and the patient was saved.)

People can be so incredibly awful sometimes, and often that awfulness is extra-hilarious. Take a look at the blog when you get a chance.

Seattle Police apparently have an audio recording of the entire encounter between officers and Shane Becker inside of the downtown REI on May 9th.

Seattle Police Officers' Guild Rich O'Neill says the tape—which won't be publicly available until after the Office of Professional Accountability completes its investigation—proves the officers were in line with SPD policies and will likely end the debate over whether REI security staff asked police to remove Becker from the store.

I'm also working on getting a copy of the 911 call to find out who reported the incident to police.

Perhaps you already knew this but I did not: Rockstar Energy Drink—designed to help you "party like a rock star"—is the creation of right-wing radio host Michael Savage.

Details come from TheTruthAboutRockstar.com: Not only did Michael (Weiner) Savage—who apparently holds advanced degrees in medical botany—come up with the formula for Rockstar, he fathered its CEO: Russel Weiner, who offers this quote:

I was was very fortunate to have been raised by two of the leading herbalists in the world, Dr. and Mrs. Michael Weiner Ph.D... My family has taken that spirit and experience - their lifetime journey - and developed the most complete, most unique, most powerful, and most honest energy beverage ever created: Rockstar.

Clearly, the "most honest energy beverage ever created" could only have sprung from the mind of Michael Savage, who's so honest he classifies homosexuality as "child abuse," says the idea of gay marriage "makes him puke," and famously told a gay caller to "get AIDS and die." Read more here.

In other moonlighting right-wing loony news: Histrionic Fox freak Glenn Beck is doing a stand-up comedy tour! Unfortunately, he's not coming anywhere near Seattle, so we'll have to make do with the brilliantly funny teaser for Beck's previous comedy show.

Thanks for the heads-up, Gawker.

Nobody's doing great, but chain stores—especially clothing sellers in shopping malls—are doing terrible. The NYT reports:

The biggest drop came from Abercrombie & Fitch, which posted a stunning 34 percent March sales decline compared with last year. [...]

Mall and specialty apparel retailers are still struggling too, including Zumiez (down 17.9 percent), American Eagle Outfitters (down 16 percent), Wet Seal (down 11.4 percent), American Apparel (down 11 percent), Gap (down 8 percent) and Limited Brands (down 9 percent). Sales were down 2 percent at The Children’s Place. Chains like Wet Seal and American Eagle Outfitters, which had climbed out of double-digit declines in February, sank back again in March.

However, Wal-Mart is slightly up. But Target is down.

You've probably heard about the horrible disaster that was Tropicana's redesign of the packaging of their Pure Premium orange juice. No? Well, it was a horrible disaster. Their sales dropped 20% in two months, while their competition's sales rose by double-digits. Oops!

The outcry from design nerds on the Internet was severe, and the company abandoned the redesign a mere two months after they launched it, costing them tens of millions of dollars.

And if you think THAT's interesting, check out this video of the Peter Arnell, the designer who created the new packaging, defending his company's concept.

Sorry, no embed. Click image to watch.

It's hard to imagine how consumers didn't connect with the new design's obvious homage to the love between a mother and child, and how the plastic cap's squeeziness is just like an orange's squeeziness, and is also pure, like an orange. It's a pure orange cap that you can squeeze! But for some reason, everyone was all fixated on how ugly the whole thing was and they just missed the deeper symbolism of the word "squeeze" and how emotionally powerful it all is. Duh.

At least they're retaining the cap. That's where the real power of love can be felt, anyway.

UPDATE: More amazing info on this Arnell guy can be found in this Newsweek profile, including his discussion of perimeter oscillations, the Parthenon, and the gravitational pull of a Pepsi can in a 27-page memo.

Baby Bangs are just for girls.

Seriously.

Thank you, Metafilter.

Finally, some bipartisanship on an important issue:

The House overwhelmingly voted in favor of passing the Captive Primate Safety Act on Tuesday, which prohibits people from buying or transporting primates across state lines to keep as pets. This legislation amended the Lacey Act, which had only applied to wildlife and fish.

The Humane Society of the United States applauded the bill, which passed by a vote of 323 to 95.

A perfect gift for the narcoleptic Godfather fan in your life (and a cruelty-free option for that uppity studio head who refuses to cast your celebrity godson in the picture that'll make him a big star...)

Thank you, Slog tipper Grace.

You know how Pepsi isn't as good as Coke, and no way is Diet Pepsi even comparable to Diet Coke? It no longer matters. Thanks to the just-announced boycott by the American Family Association, I'll be drinking nothing but Pepsi from now on. As an "AFA Alert" email informed me yesterday (bolds are mine):

Dear David,

Pepsi has produced another TV ad not only promoting Pepsi but also promoting the gay lifestyle. Click here to see the ad.

Pepsi had released a similar ad before. The ads serve two purposes for Pepsi: to sell Pepsi and to promote the homosexual lifestyle. AFA asked Pepsi to remain neutral in the culture war, but the company refused - choosing to support the homosexual activists.

Pepsi has made no effort to hide their support for the homosexual agenda:

Pepsi gave a total of $1,000,000 to the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) and Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) to promote the homosexual lifestyle in the workplace.

Both HRC and PFLAG supported efforts in California to defeat Proposition 8 which defined marriage as being between a man and a woman. HRC, which received $500,000 from Pepsi, gave $2.3 million to defeat Proposition 8.

Pepsi forces employees to attend sexual orientation and gender diversity training where the employees are taught to accept homosexuality.

Pepsi is a member of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

Take Action!

Hurrah for Pepsi.

On a shelf in the International District:

Just for marketing purposes, maybe a good strategy would be to rename Melamine Round Plate something 100% non-poison-related. Just a thought.

Update: Um, I'm sorry. I don't usually do this, but does this post really not make sense to you people? In the public consciousness right now, the word "melamine" is associated almost entirely with dead babies and pets, which makes calling something "Melamine Round Plate" an unfortunate PR move, which is funny to me. The fact that melamine is a substance used to make plates (OBVIOUSLY IT IS, BECAUSE HERE ARE SOME FUCKING MELAMINE PLATES) is not the point. Here is a link to a Google news search for the word "melamine." None of these news stories are about innocuous melamine plates or any of melamine's other handy industrial uses. All of them are about poison. That is why this Melamine Round Plate is funny. Jesus Christ.

More details at the company's website—including this: "If your plush uterus is NOT accessible to young children, and you wish to keep your beloved uterus, you may opt-out via email. Please send an email to the address below with the subject line, "UTERUS OPT OUT.'" Thanks to Slop tipper Susanna!